convo 2.27.10

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cagedmind0531
I'm up now
Thur?
forrestjones2010
hay
cagedmind0531
What's going on
forrestjones2010
hangin/creatin with canan...u?
cagedmind0531
Not much. Stumped on chapter 7. I wrote some but it's more of a state of affairs then an actual plot
forrestjones2010
i will read it today...and write tonight
canan and i are writing songs today
cagedmind0531
What happened last night? Get preoccupied?
forrestjones2010
no power went out at my house at 10
cagedmind0531
that sucks man
forrestjones2010
so i went to bed...cold
yeah it sucked
cagedmind0531
Yeah we had ours go out last week.
It was pretty hardcore
forrestjones2010
didnt get internet back until 10 this morning
its much colder there
cagedmind0531
Yeah a bit
Laying down a bit I guess. Talk to you later
forrestjones2010
some thing a small thing needs to happen in a fraction of a second that graven just catches
cagedmind0531
What do you mean?
forrestjones2010
that tells him that she did not have to die
i have been thinking about the syrum
the injections
we can talk later
if you are tired
cagedmind0531
Nah go ahead
I have been VERY unproductive lately. I am drawing a blank
forrestjones2010
If Graven believes there is truely no hope why would he inject himself in the future?
cagedmind0531
Because he knows the Gaiasphere is destroyed and he is trying to stop it from happening
forrestjones2010
if there is a glimpse of Siren or someone on the scene that day who isnt supposed to be there...something out of place
that axis warns him of
cagedmind0531
What would that accomplish? What are you wanting to add?
forrestjones2010
nothing i guess
i was just thinking that something was missing
a gap
cagedmind0531
hmm
forrestjones2010
in continuity
why go to all the trouble of injecting yourself all those times if you know the future never changes
just analyzing it to death i guess
nevermind
cagedmind0531
He doesn't know that.
It's cool. If you think of anything let me know because as it is right now I am dead ended. Like I said I wrote something but I don't know how I feel about it
forrestjones2010
i assumed he did because she never shoes up after the injections are performed
cagedmind0531
Well he has only done what? 2 injections? or 3? That's not enough to really prove anything yet.
forrestjones2010
gotcha...that makes sense...that is what i woke up thinking about
got catch some rest if you want we can get together later tonight and jam
God make sky...Devil paint Black
cagedmind0531
If you are available I'll stick around a bit, if you need to go I'm gonna go rest. I'm not so much tired as creatively starved
forrestjones2010
God make Bird...Devil make Bat
what are you stuck on...
cagedmind0531
Start of chapter 7. I wrote some stuff but it's more of a summary and I don't know I like it. It's like a page.
forrestjones2010
let me read...email right?
cagedmind0531
Um let me just post it to RD page
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
Posted. It's short
Just a few paragraphs
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
I accidentily refered to Peyon as a he or it a few times
I'll fix it later
forrestjones2010
np
k
I can tweek this
cagedmind0531
It's too revealing isn't it?
forrestjones2010
not at all
I like the directness
i just think if we let another character come in to mediate dialogue
we can have siren and peyton talk to each other
and it wont feel so tense and forced
cagedmind0531
If you can tweak it, have at it. Just at your leisure.
forrestjones2010
the message and plot points are as solid as ever
I will take a crack at it tonight
cagedmind0531
Alrighty.
forrestjones2010
I will make Strassman go with them to assist with DNA collection
or something
cagedmind0531
Sounds good.
forrestjones2010
It will be fun
cagedmind0531
I'll catch you online tonight then. 10 ish?
forrestjones2010
k i need to go hang with canan
yes sir
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
laters
cagedmind0531
later
How goes dude?
wurd up
forrestjones2010
having dinner with the family
cagedmind0531
ah ok man, sorry
forrestjones2010
np
k
cagedmind0531
You've been busy past couple days
forrestjones2010
lots of family stuff and work
cagedmind0531
Ah it's cool man I figured.
forrestjones2010
sometimes it gets harry
cagedmind0531
apparently
My girlfriend got caught texting today at work.
forrestjones2010
what happened to her?
cagedmind0531
So now I can't message her during the day which is going to make things dull.
She might get written up.
forrestjones2010
what does she do?
cagedmind0531
She works in the paint dept of home depot
But anyway let's get to work. Chapter 7.
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
What I wrote I was just writing to get it out mostly, when I was writing I didn't really think we could impliment it.
But if you really think you could tweak it out that would be hawt
forrestjones2010
yes i believe it to be very pertinent
cagedmind0531
Well up to this point the whole time travel thing has seemed pointless to the reader
And that's half the book almost of pointless events
forrestjones2010
it does change the direction of thins
dont follow the last statement
cagedmind0531
Is it weird for graven to leave his wife's funeral early btw?
forrestjones2010
no
cagedmind0531
I personally wouldn't wanna be there.
forrestjones2010
its dramatic
cagedmind0531
ok good
forrestjones2010
what is pointless i am confused
cagedmind0531
I just meant the time travel thus far doesn't seem to have a purpose, because we haven't established the reason for it.
that's all I meant
forrestjones2010
gotcha
brb
i am being summoned
cagedmind0531
haha
OH! I had an idea by the way regarding why Siren fails the first few times. I could easily write in how the time travel initially makes her
dizzy or whatever\
forrestjones2010
whoever dreamed up polygamy is one sick jack wad
cagedmind0531
lol what do you mean?
forrestjones2010
women are so demanding of your time
cagedmind0531
oh no joke
forrestjones2010
one imagine 10
cagedmind0531
fuck that
forrestjones2010
or 100
cagedmind0531
So what do you think about it taking several jumps to get used to the time traveling
That's why she was failing
forrestjones2010
sure but failing what?
cagedmind0531
To get the eye from Graven
forrestjones2010
interesting
cagedmind0531
Just an idea
I could go back and add it any time
or not
forrestjones2010
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3724820&id=743523302
cagedmind0531
Yeah I saw that
forrestjones2010
sounds fine
more of a detail
add it in later
cagedmind0531
ok so what would you prefer to work on tonight? editing or plotting out the chapter better or...
Cause these are the first couple days since we started that I wrote nothing
I was just lost
forrestjones2010
i can go in any direction
cagedmind0531
Let's tweak what I wrote, or you can and I'll try to hash something else out. Either way
forrestjones2010
k
lets role
cagedmind0531
You ok by the way? Everything cool?
forrestjones2010
oh yes...having a great day...you?
cagedmind0531
Aside from being stumped all is good.
forrestjones2010
been creating all day long
me and canan have written 2 billy songs today
cagedmind0531
That's cool
forrestjones2010
Jimmy Hoffa On The Moon
and Billy: You Fight Alone!
cagedmind0531
haha
forrestjones2010
one is a ballad and the other is screamo punk
i do piano and vocals he does guitar
cagedmind0531
Sounds interesting
forrestjones2010
where is 7 again?
cagedmind0531
the RD site I think let me check
Yeah, RD Site
Feel free to use just bits and pieces of what I wrote, if any of it at all. Doesn't matter to me
forrestjones2010
k
i will past to messenger
paste
Time itself began to slip into something intangible as if it no longer passed yet entropy forced Siren recognize its undeniable presence.
to
Time itself began to slip into something intangible as if it no longer passed yet entropy forced Siren to recognize its undeniable presence.
cagedmind0531
Wait where did you get that
forrestjones2010
i just wrote it as the opening line
cagedmind0531
Oh
ok cool
thought I was lost
forrestjones2010
does it suck or something?
cagedmind0531
Nope.
forrestjones2010
I basically reworded the intro to remind us of a world shift to entropy
cagedmind0531
Yeah that was clever
I am wondering if it is too soon to make the revelation
What do you think?
forrestjones2010
1-7,8-15,16-21
1/3,1/3,1/3
cagedmind0531
So you think 1/3 of the way into the book is a good milestone to introduce a revelation?
forrestjones2010
we have 3 cycles that dominate right?
cagedmind0531
sorry what?
forrestjones2010
3 ages?
cagedmind0531
yes
forrestjones2010
and they are?
cagedmind0531
Rune, Spirit, Tech
Or Rune, Nature, Tech
Either way
forrestjones2010
then yes every 7 chapters
cagedmind0531
So should for the 3rd part we introduce why Graven is traveling through time
or why he is taking injections I mean
forrestjones2010
that would be ch 14
cagedmind0531
ok I'm with ya
forrestjones2010
this to me is not hard and fast...it just seemed to make sense mathematically the way you put things together
he he
cagedmind0531
alrighty
I would really like, by the time that things are said and done, people to be like 'how the hell did they get all this shit straight'
forrestjones2010
it will be
Strassman sat stoic in the reviewing room with Peyton watching Siren's first excursion through time as she was becoming more adept at her missions with each new jump through time. This latest mission would have her traveling back to Graven's time once more, this time the task involved no confrontation and yet it will prove to be the first real progress toward Peyton Asimov Sorenson's goals, and thus it shall be one step closer to achieving the payment she so desires.
cagedmind0531
So they are reviewing her past missions?
Or watching the current one?
forrestjones2010
reviewing the past contemplating the next one
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
really the only thing i am doing is introducing strassman to create dialouge instead of monologue
cagedmind0531
Sounds good
forrestjones2010
dialouge is usually more dynamic
cagedmind0531
I agree
I want to make it clear later that going for the eye was basically just to test Siren.
I think anyway that that would be a good plot point
forrestjones2010
k
its like you were trying to come uo with a character bio for peyton
up
cagedmind0531
Yeah I was basically
That's why I was unsure of if it even had a place
Peyton doesn't sound like a girls name. I'm kind of in the middle about it
forrestjones2010
Peyton seeks immortality. She seeks to harness the imprint of a soul. She is convinced that the 'Eye of Fracture' will bring her one step closer to the goal of finding some weakness through which to enter the Gaia tree. Peyton also has Siren collecting runic technology from the past, mechanisms that have been long lost to dust and decay that were once powered by runes which no one to date has been capable of deciphering in the year of the Machine 2715.
cagedmind0531
sounds good
We need a name for the computer
And to clarify that Peyton is it's main avatar
Cause Peyton isn't technically the AI, she is the personification of it
forrestjones2010
Peyton did not have a soul in the beginning because she was the projection of a machine. She was merely the visage of the machine to which has the power to make and unmake all machines. Peyton is an artificial intellect, an entity which only exists in cyberspace and the realm transcending cyberspace known as the Holoverse. She was and is the one and only consciouness existing in the network of machines on earth. The limitations of not existing in the physical plane did not stop her from interacting with the world and it's inhabitants. Through the use of cybernetic humans and holograms, Peyton is free to interact with whomever she pleases, her creator has seen to that.
cagedmind0531
Did you see what I typed before?
forrestjones2010
yes
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
The latest task she had set before Siren was to retrieve the body of Gaia and her unborn child for the purpose of DNA extraction. The Gaia tree still existed as a monument to the advent of souls. The one vessel capable of maintaining the unending stream of consciouness and unbound wills of the mass populace of earth. Peyton planned to enter the Gaia tree and attain the one soul worthy of Peyton's vast intellect, the very soul of Gaia.
cagedmind0531
With ya
forrestjones2010
There were many complications with the task. Peyton was having very little luck reconciling it. The tree proved resistant to all forms of probing. No saw, no drill, no laser or searing heat could penetrate the sphere, from all angles it seemed impenetrable. Peyton was obsessed with her plan and systematically timeless in her actions as far as aging was concerned, and thus meticulous in her patient. She tried everything known to technology and man to enter the sphere to this point except the DNA of Gaia, and so now it was time to send Siren to obtain her lifeless body just moments after the creation of the Gaiasphere.
cagedmind0531
Much better then before
forrestjones2010
you had some good stuff
i liked the directness of it
you made a good point the other day
just come out and SAY IT
or how ever you worded it
cagedmind0531
Well it's a gamble just coming out like that. We don't want to lose all the mystery of the book.
forrestjones2010
its out there...if we change our minds later we can always go back
until then
cagedmind0531
true nuff
forrestjones2010
carpe noctun
noctum
cagedmind0531
Ok so chapter 7, we dissect Gaia. You will be better for that then me
forrestjones2010
i even mi spell in latin
lol
cagedmind0531

forrestjones2010
you just dont want to hack her to pieces cuz you are in love
cagedmind0531
I just think you will be better with the technical process
Don't get too technical though because she's not human
forrestjones2010
i'll hack the broad
cagedmind0531
Don't forget she is Etherian and has those traits
forrestjones2010
shes gonna have tons of crystals and electrodes and space monkeys and stuff up in there
cagedmind0531
Sounds like a jungle
forrestjones2010
was the baby a girl or boy?
cagedmind0531
The unborn one?
I never said
forrestjones2010
yes
cagedmind0531
Why don't we call the computer Asimov and the avatar Peyton
forrestjones2010
perfect
love it
cagedmind0531
Ok I'm going to make some changes to incorporate that then
forrestjones2010
k
i wasnt liking the long name btw
cagedmind0531
Me neither
forrestjones2010
good
cagedmind0531
I just love the name Asimov
forrestjones2010
me too
cagedmind0531
You suggested it way way way back in the day
forrestjones2010
makes my palms itch
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
siren doesnt know peyton is just an avatar though
cagedmind0531
Make that apparent
forrestjones2010
right
siren thinks she is a mentor/superior
badass
supa slayer
cagedmind0531
ha
forrestjones2010
basically siren has an unhealthy fear of peyton
that is never verbalized but felt
cagedmind0531
That works well
Fear is a good emotion
Like she suspects something isn't right with him but can't place it
her*
forrestjones2010
siren feels like lead when she is around peyton
heavy dense and her communication systems are always distorted
literally
cagedmind0531
That's cool
forrestjones2010
you know how when some people walk into a room they can shut down entire computer systems...
thats peyton...shes hot...but intense and not to be trifled with
cagedmind0531
lol
What is Peyton's title?
Doctor?
forrestjones2010
queen of the holoverse
She is the
oops
cagedmind0531
Doctor I think we are overusing. What about CEO?
forrestjones2010
Controlling Owner and CEO of Solomon United
Controlling Shareholder
President and CEO
Whatever as long as Solomon United is in there somewhere
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
one of her guiding rules is...she can not ever fail...she may dissapear seemingly forever...but she will never fail
fyi
she learned this from phill
before he disappered
cagedmind0531
Phill?
forrestjones2010
Solomon United is named after Phillip Solomon but he will not be named in our book
cagedmind0531
ah ok
forrestjones2010
Peyton Sorenson knows Phill...they have shared a drink or 2
cagedmind0531
Does Feinburg know who Peyton really is?
forrestjones2010
no
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
no one does...not even strassman
i had to think about it a sec...yeah she is isolated
so chapter 7
Unfolding the Stone...
cagedmind0531
?
forrestjones2010
unfolding siren...peyton...feiny...what do you want to get accomplished?
cagedmind0531
Siren breaks into the facility that houses Gaia. A high security museum. She successfully attempts the syrum. It fails.
Then we go back to Graven. Figure out some problem he needs to work out. Then finish chapter 7
Chapter 8 she abducts Kalyx
and we deal with Graven's grief etc
One thing we may want to introduce is Graven's presence when she tries to inject the Gaia tree in the future. Maybe future Graven witnesses it.
Just ideas
forrestjones2010
lost me on last comment
cagedmind0531
Ok well Graven lives past the time of Siren
forrestjones2010
right
cagedmind0531
At some point it stands to reason she could encounter him if she is going to the Gaia tree.
forrestjones2010
i know how siren dies
cagedmind0531
Keep in mind she is the only one who can kill AI but go ahead.
forrestjones2010
she doesnt really die...she is emprisoned for eternity
cagedmind0531
The Asimov, an artificially created intellect, communicated with others through avatars or holograms. It's main avatar was a CEO and controlling shareholder of Solomon United, Peyton Sorenson. No one was aware of Peyton being anything other then the human head of their corporation, ignorant of the true nature of her existence as mere visage to Asimov. In actuallity Asimov was nothing more then pathways in machines scattered all across the earth, an entity which only existed in cyberspace and the realm transcending cyberspace known as the holoverse. To date the Asimov is only consciouness capable of existing in the network of machines.
Revised that again.
forrestjones2010
by a machine
but its not
AI
cagedmind0531
That's kind of harsh for the hero
forrestjones2010
it is an organic machine
heros be damned
cagedmind0531
Sounds interesting though
Read what I wrote right fast
forrestjones2010
love it
cagedmind0531
ok yeah I figured that would sort it out
Does Siren know why she is stealing all this shit? Does Peyton give her a fake reason, or she just keeps her mouth shut and gets paid?
forrestjones2010
She believes herself to be a saint in a holy war a saint and a recruiter of mercenaries...she still intends on recruiting Graven
collecting weapons for the great war to end all wars
cagedmind0531
Are we making a war in this book?
forrestjones2010
no
but she is in her mind
it is a driving force to her
nothing more
cagedmind0531
Oh I considered something by the way. What if Siren, personality-wise, doesn't want to be human and Peyton is paying her in upgrades which replace her humanity
But at the end of the book the last part of her that is human is what saves her life
forrestjones2010
nice work...siren loves you
she hates her humanity
views it as weakness
she is a spock lady
cagedmind0531
OMG listen to this...good idea
What if the last encounter the AI releases an electromagnetic pulse that shortcircuits all of siren...except the one part of her that is left human and she uses that to stop him at the last moment
forrestjones2010
i like
then she takes her LSD and oes to prison
cagedmind0531
So in the Siren segments from now on
We need to convey she hates humanity
We need to later convey a reason
We need to establish she wants upgrades and is insistent on receiving them whether she fails or not
forrestjones2010
ok
sounds good
cagedmind0531
She needs a past...that we convey in a fairly short amount of time
What vector do we use to convey her past?
We can't use visions, dreams
What if each upgrade gives her a representation of a memory being replaced
forrestjones2010
let me think on that one
i almost wanted her not to have a past
cagedmind0531
'She felt her resolve strengthening as the weakness in her frail childhood faded into the chrome plated mechanics in her arm
forrestjones2010
until now
cagedmind0531
something like that maybe
Specific memories though that would make her hate humans or maybe hating being weak like a human
Like something happened she couldn't stop
Childhood abuse might be something but not sure we wanna go there
forrestjones2010
let me think more ion her
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
i always just started her scenes
with rip roaring actions
cagedmind0531
haha
forrestjones2010
never stopped to explain her
she was always my ace in the whole
cagedmind0531
Well now you gotta!
forrestjones2010
my fire cracker boom boom boom
why you gott be a shrink?
cagedmind0531
lol
Face your fears!
delve into the pysche of a vulnerable woman!
forrestjones2010
i likes bitched with guns and big tits that dont say much
cant we jus leave it at that?
boom boom!
cagedmind0531
lol this book is deep not some shallow tit-venture
forrestjones2010
bata bing Tony...
any body seen tony?
he's down at bata bing's
cagedmind0531
lol what the hell are you talkin about
forrestjones2010
the Sapranos
cagedmind0531
Oh I love that show
I've seen every episode
forrestjones2010
batta bings was the strip club
cagedmind0531
I remember now
So you can write the escapade leading to the Gaia museum
Actually you know what
forrestjones2010
you mean the dissection?
cagedmind0531
The museum could be run down...like people don't care about it anymore
Yeah and the part after that
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
What do you think about the Museum? If it's the time of technology wouldn't it be kind of forgotten?
forrestjones2010
i like the idea
cagedmind0531
Yeah I think we should go into alot of detail about how it's run down but at one time this was like the pinnacle of society
forrestjones2010
yeah like the mayan calendar or something respected but misunderstood
cagedmind0531
sounds good
Should it be the original location of the Gaiasphere because I was thinking it could have been moved there
forrestjones2010
k i need some shut eye for now...
either way
cagedmind0531
ok man, good night
forrestjones2010
made some good progress...had some good fun
will be on tommorow
cagedmind0531
alrighty
forrestjones2010
and tommorow night again
night
cagedmind0531
night