Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
convo 7.15.2010
cagedmind0531 appears to be offline
He or she will receive your messages after signing in.
cagedmind0531
Hey man ya thur?
poke
forrestjones2010
Jason...My main man
how goes it
cagedmind0531
I want to start writing again soon. How have you been, what's going on
forrestjones2010
just got off the mountain
i do to...focused on our project i mean
been gone for 3 weeks wow
trying to get back into this work thing
cagedmind0531
I bet
forrestjones2010
wow i dont want to work
cagedmind0531
Work sucks
forrestjones2010
whats been going on with you?
cagedmind0531
Not much, been working here and there. Things have been pretty calm I guess.
forrestjones2010
thats good
cagedmind0531
I miss ya bud
forrestjones2010
yeah me too
cagedmind0531
I can't start any work yet but in a few days I'll be getting in touch and seeing if we can start things back up again. I have a friend in California doing a red pen critique over the book
forrestjones2010
that sounds good
i have wrapped up allot of stuff so i will be ready to focus too
cagedmind0531
How was your trip?
forrestjones2010
it was hard but rewardsing...100 miles in 12 days
cagedmind0531
geez
forrestjones2010
i lost 50 pounds getting ready for the trip...i can wear a size 30 jean now
cagedmind0531
wow
forrestjones2010
165
watch out world
cagedmind0531
yeah I weigh 225 right now, chubby
forrestjones2010
i came down from 215
cagedmind0531
Cool. I have to go now but I'll be in touch. Expect a message from me soon
forrestjones2010
k good talking to ya
cagedmind0531
By the way that guy who is critiqueing the book is really good about details so if he follows through we're set
forrestjones2010
sounds great
cagedmind0531
If you can find a guy who can just take a red pen to the book and butcher it that would be great. Keep your eyes open.
forres
He or she will receive your messages after signing in.
cagedmind0531
Hey man ya thur?
poke
forrestjones2010
Jason...My main man
how goes it
cagedmind0531
I want to start writing again soon. How have you been, what's going on
forrestjones2010
just got off the mountain
i do to...focused on our project i mean
been gone for 3 weeks wow
trying to get back into this work thing
cagedmind0531
I bet
forrestjones2010
wow i dont want to work
cagedmind0531
Work sucks
forrestjones2010
whats been going on with you?
cagedmind0531
Not much, been working here and there. Things have been pretty calm I guess.
forrestjones2010
thats good
cagedmind0531
I miss ya bud
forrestjones2010
yeah me too
cagedmind0531
I can't start any work yet but in a few days I'll be getting in touch and seeing if we can start things back up again. I have a friend in California doing a red pen critique over the book
forrestjones2010
that sounds good
i have wrapped up allot of stuff so i will be ready to focus too
cagedmind0531
How was your trip?
forrestjones2010
it was hard but rewardsing...100 miles in 12 days
cagedmind0531
geez
forrestjones2010
i lost 50 pounds getting ready for the trip...i can wear a size 30 jean now
cagedmind0531
wow
forrestjones2010
165
watch out world
cagedmind0531
yeah I weigh 225 right now, chubby
forrestjones2010
i came down from 215
cagedmind0531
Cool. I have to go now but I'll be in touch. Expect a message from me soon
forrestjones2010
k good talking to ya
cagedmind0531
By the way that guy who is critiqueing the book is really good about details so if he follows through we're set
forrestjones2010
sounds great
cagedmind0531
If you can find a guy who can just take a red pen to the book and butcher it that would be great. Keep your eyes open.
forres
Friday, May 14, 2010
STAB
STAB
The bed was still on fire when I sat down on it. (Toren), or whatever this cock freak's real name is was long gone and
another four dead women lay there chained and charred like a daisy blast of gasoline. A thanic yin-yang indellibly sketched
into me. I remember all of them and I have seen thousands. This one had a fresh bundle of sunflowers sorted into a tight
calculated circle while a fire danced around in haunting flames. Skeleton keys were strewn about the room like a maze that
lead to the damned. If there is such a thing as the damned. The only difference between heaven and hell is who has the
biggest building, the most scratch, and happens to be yelling the loudest at the moment. Hell is here friend. All this other
jive is just an illusion.
Just when I thought I would not be able to find a single lead until I killed the fire a girl child out of the darkness spoke
softly...Come let's play follow the leader down into the screams...
She was frail looking with white pail flaky skin the looked a bit like scales. She stood about five foot even and smelled of
ginger and lilac and wouldn't let me get that close to her but it was not out of fear. It was by design. I had seen this kind of
military training and methodical cadence countless times in combat and training. It was engrained, but at twelve who has this
protocol mastered?
Keep your distance and I will be a guide to you. The catacombs await where the dead lay upon the dead and have done so
for mellenia. Born dead they walk waking life to die a walking death filled with a walking death like you. Stacked in stench.
STAB. Certainly Stab you must to get through this mess of bones. Crag bones. Stag bones. Dry bones, and wet muscled fresh
bones.
"Why would you show me this? and who are you?" said the man in the trench coat as he caught a glimpse of her right leg. It
was not there, rather a metallic protheses was in its place.
Keep your distance"Countless" or I will make your blood run cold before its ripe. I suppose it does not matter if you are
aware that my four mothers hacked off my leg and i stole this one from the cyborgs and did the implant job myself. Bloody
mess for an eleven year old. My name is Siren. At that moment by design Peyton Sorenson came from the darkness from
behind the man in the trench coat and carefully found the third rib from the lower right side. This is the rib you STAB into if
you do not want your victim to scream because the blade pierces the right lung first.
The man fell dead in silence and the two young girls walked off into volcanic light. She whispered back to the dead man
as a machine added his body to the growing pyre...my name is Siren.
STAB
SIREN PARTIAL ORIGIN
The bed was still on fire when I sat down on it. (Toren), or whatever this cock freak's real name is was long gone and
another four dead women lay there chained and charred like a daisy blast of gasoline. A thanic yin-yang indellibly sketched
into me. I remember all of them and I have seen thousands. This one had a fresh bundle of sunflowers sorted into a tight
calculated circle while a fire danced around in haunting flames. Skeleton keys were strewn about the room like a maze that
lead to the damned. If there is such a thing as the damned. The only difference between heaven and hell is who has the
biggest building, the most scratch, and happens to be yelling the loudest at the moment. Hell is here friend. All this other
jive is just an illusion.
Just when I thought I would not be able to find a single lead until I killed the fire a girl child out of the darkness spoke
softly...Come let's play follow the leader down into the screams...
She was frail looking with white pail flaky skin the looked a bit like scales. She stood about five foot even and smelled of
ginger and lilac and wouldn't let me get that close to her but it was not out of fear. It was by design. I had seen this kind of
military training and methodical cadence countless times in combat and training. It was engrained, but at twelve who has this
protocol mastered?
Keep your distance and I will be a guide to you. The catacombs await where the dead lay upon the dead and have done so
for mellenia. Born dead they walk waking life to die a walking death filled with a walking death like you. Stacked in stench.
STAB. Certainly Stab you must to get through this mess of bones. Crag bones. Stag bones. Dry bones, and wet muscled fresh
bones.
"Why would you show me this? and who are you?" said the man in the trench coat as he caught a glimpse of her right leg. It
was not there, rather a metallic protheses was in its place.
Keep your distance"Countless" or I will make your blood run cold before its ripe. I suppose it does not matter if you are
aware that my four mothers hacked off my leg and i stole this one from the cyborgs and did the implant job myself. Bloody
mess for an eleven year old. My name is Siren. At that moment by design Peyton Sorenson came from the darkness from
behind the man in the trench coat and carefully found the third rib from the lower right side. This is the rib you STAB into if
you do not want your victim to scream because the blade pierces the right lung first.
The man fell dead in silence and the two young girls walked off into volcanic light. She whispered back to the dead man
as a machine added his body to the growing pyre...my name is Siren.
STAB
SIREN PARTIAL ORIGIN
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
old convo archive
cagedmind0531 appears to be offline
He or she will receive your messages after signing in.
forrestjones2010
THERE?
cagedmind0531
yup
what's up
forrestjones2010
reading what you emailed...i have a pact that would go nicely between the 3
graven syrka and adahn
i call it "May we together"
cagedmind0531
That isn't near all I wrote
Let me paste the latest to the final draft page
forrestjones2010
i would like to add the pact
cool?
cagedmind0531
read what I got first, one sec
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
posted
forrestjones2010
k...just finished email
cagedmind0531
ok there is quite a bit more, I wrote like 4-5 pages
forrestjones2010
wowsers
where?
cagedmind0531
it's at the bottom of the final draft page
forrestjones2010
k
reading now
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
i was going to mention her ether was cobalt
u beat me to it
cagedmind0531
How goes it?
forrestjones2010
i am speechless...
cagedmind0531
So that's good then right? lol
forrestjones2010
yes ofcourse
cagedmind0531
ok groovy
forrestjones2010
it needs attention here and there but the spirit of it is immaculate
cagedmind0531
Ok well do you want to go over some editing points right fast then?
forrestjones2010
not sure
that is the end of ch 6 right
cagedmind0531
um...it could be or her funeral could be
forrestjones2010
how many words is it so far
cagedmind0531
It's 7 pages so it's a bit short for a chapter
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
So I figure next chapter Graven gets pissed and leaves [possibly] because Gaia left him, with his child no less
not sure
forrestjones2010
i dont think i want to edit tonight
cagedmind0531
k np
forrestjones2010
plotting sounds more fun
what do you want to do
cagedmind0531
let's discuss this chapter a bit then move on to the next
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
ok so we killed Gaia...does Siren do something?
We are going to have issues at this point because we need to decide how fast we advance time here
I was thinking possibly that we leave Graven for a while after the funeral. Discuss Siren a bit, give her some things she tries to do
Then at the end of whatever is written about her we zone in on her trying to kill graven again
forrestjones2010
thinking
how old is kaylx?
cagedmind0531
baby, not a year old I don't think
I need to insert some scenes where the baby is being cared for but it is rather tedious
forrestjones2010
siren is going to kidnap her
graven will never know her
cagedmind0531
good idea, why does she kidnap her?
forrestjones2010
many reasons
tension
she is powerful
much more so than Gaia
feiny wants the dna
peyton wants a protegie
siren want o be a mommy
cagedmind0531
Ok well we need to pick one of them that is the most believable.
forrestjones2010
Siren needs a new weapon
leave it open for now
we can decide later
snatch the nibbler
Graven doesnt even suspect it
cagedmind0531
What did you think about the poem btw? is it ok or could it stand to be changed?
forrestjones2010
the curse doesnt turn her human
it rocked
cagedmind0531
ok good
forrestjones2010
better than i could have done myself
cagedmind0531
I doubt that but thanks much.
It took me a while to decide on a rhyme scheme
forrestjones2010
Kaylx is the last Etherian right?
cagedmind0531
Yes she is
forrestjones2010
sweet
rare hoe
Peyton will be pleased
Siren will be redeemed
cagedmind0531
Would it be odd for Graven to just not notice his child is gone because Gaia is dead. Like Veyn was watching her and tries to tell graven what ha
forrestjones2010
this will be her first assignment she doesnt botch in a while
cagedmind0531
happened but he doesn't hear it
There?
forrestjones2010
thinking
yeah thats odd
I want him to see siren tke her
and him be helpless to do anything
I want it to take place at the same place gaia died
cagedmind0531
ok...we could actually kill off Graven for a few chapters. Graven disappears after his wife dies and child is abducted
forrestjones2010
maybe
cagedmind0531
Something big has to happen with Graven after this because he is going to be decimated
forrestjones2010
I want someone to be in Corals old cell
put Graven there because he goes crazy
cagedmind0531
Maybe he almost kills Veyn for letting his child get kidnapped
forrestjones2010
put him there in holding under survellence
i need him to discover Corals writings on the walls of her cage
cagedmind0531
Does it occur to you by the way that Graven is kind of two dimensional so far
forrestjones2010
in a peculiar way
cagedmind0531
So far Graven is just 'the good guy'
forrestjones2010
what do you mean 2D?
cagedmind0531
He's like two dimensional. Not developed. All his decisions he has had to make have been obvious
forrestjones2010
have him kill Coral and then the "community locks him in her cell
karmic retribution
cagedmind0531
Killing her would definitely be big. Maybe too big.
forrestjones2010
its her fault Gaia is dead
she is the reason gaia is dead and iboga was born
cagedmind0531
That's not bad. But I don't think the community would approach Graven
Think about it
He killed Iboga
Basically
They were petrified of Iboga
I think Graven would leave on his own before they would imprison him
forrestjones2010
thinking
cagedmind0531
By the way Graven in the future post dates siren
forrestjones2010
what does that mean
cagedmind0531
It means Graven in the future is at a later date then Siren. He is after the scalping, she is before.
She is at the height of tech he is at the fall of it
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
We could so easily make this into more then 1 book
I've been thinking about it
forrestjones2010
i am with you on that
cagedmind0531
I say we just write it out and if it ends at 320 pages it ends, if not we keep going but start looking for publsihers
publishers*
forrestjones2010
agreed
cagedmind0531
Ok so we've built Graven up as a hero, now we tear him down
forrestjones2010
burn baby burn
kill your darlings
kill em all
cagedmind0531
One potential problem is the injections I have been giving future Graven. What is he trying to change if not Gaia's death
forrestjones2010
maybe he is not as 2d as he appears
introduce another agenda with the injections
cagedmind0531
What if he is almost dead from scar tissue. But he is undoing the dmg piece by piece by using the injections to make the injuries never have happened
forrestjones2010
we could link Coral's cage to the future
what if the ethereal writings on the cell wall created the storm crow
and when there pattern is ciphered
the universe along with its secrets are decoded
power to whoever dicovers it
just brainstorming
cagedmind0531
figured
forrestjones2010
any of that sound good?
cagedmind0531
Not fond of Graven being imprisoned. As far as what she wrote in her caged madness I don't know. This is my first time to think of her beyond the terms of what is happening now
forrestjones2010
k
so far I like the kidnapping at the death spot by siren...are you on board with that?
cagedmind0531
I am on board with it but I want a good reason before we commit to it.
Siren is a mercenary. She's not going to do something just to do it.
There has to be a specific reason.
Plus kidnapping a kid is a hell of alot more then picking off parts throughout history
We would need a scene with Peyton or something demanding she get paid more
There?
forrestjones2010
yes
cagedmind0531
I really think we need the purpose now before later because it needs to be brought up repeatedly throughout the book. If the child is going to grow up it's going to be a recurring character
forrestjones2010
thinking
cagedmind0531
With me on that point though?
forrestjones2010
not really
i think it can be defined tommorow
brb
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
tish needs some help
cagedmind0531
np
I've got it! They kidnap her believing her DNA is special...but it's not! It's her beliefs that will make her powerful and thus the child is useless and they are going to dispose of her
But Siren stops them
And takes the baby
forrestjones2010
i need some process time on this one
her ether is more powerful than cobalt
cagedmind0531
I don't want her DNA to be special. IMO belief should make her special. Belief dictating reality is a good theme
Plus this gives good reason as to what would happen with the baby. Would AI raise it otherwise?
forrestjones2010
what if her ether is not ether at all what if it is Chrome
what if she is the first of the Chrome
Book 2
cagedmind0531
We differ on this one pretty big because I don't want her to be much larger then life. Her mother was a martyr with some powers true, but maybe she will manifest these later in life and they give up on her because it's not in her DNA
Or maybe the change in her is not something DNA or eyes or tests can show
forrestjones2010
if she is not special then why kidnap her at all
that is like writing just to write
with no purpose
cagedmind0531
Because they thought her DNA would give them some insight into Gaia. A way to exploit it. What if her DNA is needed in order for the nanoprobes to enter the tree
maybe not her dna but her ether specifically, otherwise why not take a fingernail or a piece of hair
forrestjones2010
thats interesting
cagedmind0531
So maybe her DNA is only special at first because it allows them to enter the Gaia tree but...
later on in her life she realizes she has powers
But they discard the child after they have taken her blood
forrestjones2010
how about they take the fetus
cagedmind0531
Siren rescues the child and tries to cut ties with Peyton
forrestjones2010
embryo
cagedmind0531
Well the child is already born
forrestjones2010
the second unborn child
she is pregnant
cagedmind0531
ah that's right
Maybe they don't know that though. Hell even Graven didn't know
forrestjones2010
better yet the dead body
talk about piss off a husband
cagedmind0531
Maybe they take the dead body and fetus and find out that it's not enough
That it has to be live ether
forrestjones2010
then they take kalyx
cagedmind0531
aye
forrestjones2010
then kill her
then kill graven
cagedmind0531
You don't want the baby to grow up?
forrestjones2010
then kill all the goats in the city
cagedmind0531
rofl all the trench goats
forrestjones2010
trench goats indeed
she can live
i just dont want to happy of an ending
cagedmind0531
So I think we're together on this so far. Siren comes. Takes the body of his dead wife and fetus. Do tests. It'
s not enough
They decide to kidnap Kalyx who has become all Graven lives for
forrestjones2010
k
yes
cagedmind0531
We make it clear that they intend to enter the Gaiasphere
We don't know why yet
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
awe man I just had a thought
Totally off the wall and random. Not even sure it would work.
forrestjones2010
listening
cagedmind0531
wait nvm I don't like it
forgot one detail
forrestjones2010
tease
cagedmind0531
moving on
lol
forrestjones2010
tell me
cagedmind0531
was gonna say what if Kalyx is Siren
forrestjones2010
mind flip
cagedmind0531
yeah lol it won't work
forrestjones2010
right
cagedmind0531
random thought
forrestjones2010
sounds like something i would threw in the mix
cagedmind0531
Ok so we are halfway through the book now we need to start making clear the motivations of the future people
Why they are doing what they are doing
forrestjones2010
control
the past is purpose
the future is control
the breaking of both of these curses is love
cagedmind0531
By the way as far as the ending. What if it's a bad ending but then they find a Gaia seed.
So it's a bad ending with hope
forrestjones2010
ok
it will come as it comes
cagedmind0531
ok so anyway
This chapter ends with Gaia's funeral.
Graven is in mourning at the start of the next chapter. He is irate with Coral.
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
what now?
forrestjones2010
funeral/bodysnatch
cagedmind0531
Does Graven find out she stole the body?
forrestjones2010
hmmmmm
no
cagedmind0531
k
Then you or I will write a siren scene discussing the experimentation on the cells
forrestjones2010
either way
cagedmind0531
You never did post your entire scene from before btw
forrestjones2010
they fail right?
the siren scene
?
cagedmind0531
Yes they fail trying to use DNA to enter the Gaiasphere, and it is airtight, water tight, can't be burned or scraped
Yeah the scene with the won tons
forrestjones2010
you lost me
won tons
?
cagedmind0531
Yeah that introduces Peyton etc
You wrote it...it's several pages...
forrestjones2010
that is a complete scene
cagedmind0531
You didn't give me all of it
forrestjones2010
i had to cut it off
cagedmind0531
oh
forrestjones2010
it ran to long
cagedmind0531
Did it? I think it needs to keep going to make any sense at all
You need to establish why you are telling them all of this. What exactly is Peyton to Siren
forrestjones2010
oh...gotcha
i will go back
almost forgot about that
Coral took over
cagedmind0531
From here on out Siren will be more and more predominant
We need her grounded. With a real hierchy
hierarchy*
forrestjones2010
she gotz plenty a demz
cagedmind0531
Don't make the reader guess that it's her boss. Flat out say it.
That right there gives emotion to the scene
If your unscrupulous boss had you in a chair and you couldn't move, and you fucked up
How would you feel
I'd feel pretty damn scared even if he was being nice to me, especially if he was being nice to me
forrestjones2010
hmmm
so much for finess
cagedmind0531
I've just given it some more thought
forrestjones2010
hi boss stop slapping me in the face with that monster of a dildo please
cagedmind0531
rofl
forrestjones2010
i guess you have
why the change of heart
why the direct approach
quihote?
cagedmind0531
It doesn't need alot of change honestly. A few sentences can make the change apparent
I just don't want to write them, I'd rather you did so it fits better.
When I start changing things sometimes it loses what you gave it
The ambience of the scene cannot be beat
You can tell you've been where you were describing
forrestjones2010
i see
cagedmind0531
If you disagree let me know and we can discuss it.
forrestjones2010
i dont want to get bogged down in edit at the moment
cagedmind0531
Ok no problem
The segment goes in later anyway
forrestjones2010
how much later
cagedmind0531
Either chapter 7 or 8 depending on if 7 is a Siren centered chapter which I think it should be
Are you wanting to phase the Siren stuff in more gradually or start doing it now?
forrestjones2010
at first i wanted to phase it in in pieces...small chunks...but you kept pushing it back and rewriting it
so now i dont know
i guess at one time
cagedmind0531
Sorry I didn't mean to throw you off
forrestjones2010
no its cool i dont really care where it goes
i am flexible
i think its paradoxical that you dont want the protagonist caged and your screen name is "cagedmind"
cagedmind0531
rofl
My mind is caged my body is free!
It's a conundrum
forrestjones2010
if you say so
sondorman
condorman
cagedmind0531
lol
ok so let's map on chapter...7 is it?
forrestjones2010
7...i am so excited
cagedmind0531
Dude I can't believe we are almost halfway there!
forrestjones2010
it opens with Peyton dissecting gaia assisted by strassman and feiny
i know right
Siren watchesclening her guns
cagedmind0531
Oh so we are having the abduction take place at the end of chapter 6?
forrestjones2010
funeral
end of 6
cagedmind0531
Not the abduction the body snatching I meant
forrestjones2010
right
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
idea
cagedmind0531
After much frustration they learn that DNA is not enough and I would go so far as to honestly having them breaking into the facility where the Gaiasphere is in the modern world to test it.
That could be Siren's mission
Go ahead
forrestjones2010
ch 7 could open with the dissection without an explaination of an abuction the reader would assume siren did it
or we could use dialouge areound the table to say
cagedmind0531
Good idea.
forrestjones2010
good job on getting them here
something to that effect
cagedmind0531
ok, are you cool with them sending Siren to test it?
forrestjones2010
yes
cagedmind0531
The Gaia tree has like maximum security. It's a living relic
Picture Jesus's tomb with Jesus still in it alive somehow
forrestjones2010
nice
cagedmind0531
That's how prized it would be
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
Are you going to have Peyton there? or should your other piece intro him later?
forrestjones2010
sorry where?
cagedmind0531
beginning of chapter 7
forrestjones2010
Peyton is a chick and yes she will be there
head of surgery
cagedmind0531
k
and technically she is a computer so there!
forrestjones2010
right
she is a whore to
too
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
she likes to give it up to strassman and feiny
like government cheese
cagedmind0531
rofl
Ok so then what
forrestjones2010
how does Gaia come back to life
cagedmind0531
She doesn't
She be dead
and is a tree
forrestjones2010
i thought graven visited her as a spirit somewhere
cagedmind0531
Oh we discussed them being able to talk through the star on their chest. We can add that or not
Either way
forrestjones2010
peyton puts her and Sepal into Hunab Ku after she finds out they are useless to her agenda
cagedmind0531
Hunab Ku?
forrestjones2010
Hunab Ku is a vault full of weapons in the middle of the spinning mega black hole at the center of the Milky Way
cagedmind0531
That sounds a bit out there sir
forrestjones2010
its Peytons hiding place for important weapons and paperwork
it will be our little secret jason
cagedmind0531
rofl
forrestjones2010
remember "the nerd copy"
cagedmind0531
lol ok
Ok so then...
The experiment fails. He dumps the bodies.
forrestjones2010
yes
cagedmind0531
Then he discusses what they can do now and arrive at the idea of abducting the child
Siren disagrees and almost refuses flat out to do it
But they force her to somehow
forrestjones2010
good
she does so with relative ease
i need to get some shut eye
cagedmind0531
alrighty man
night
forrestjones2010
awesome work today
really awesome
cagedmind0531
Yeah we both did some great work
The coral idea really ties everything together really well
He or she will receive your messages after signing in.
forrestjones2010
THERE?
cagedmind0531
yup
what's up
forrestjones2010
reading what you emailed...i have a pact that would go nicely between the 3
graven syrka and adahn
i call it "May we together"
cagedmind0531
That isn't near all I wrote
Let me paste the latest to the final draft page
forrestjones2010
i would like to add the pact
cool?
cagedmind0531
read what I got first, one sec
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
posted
forrestjones2010
k...just finished email
cagedmind0531
ok there is quite a bit more, I wrote like 4-5 pages
forrestjones2010
wowsers
where?
cagedmind0531
it's at the bottom of the final draft page
forrestjones2010
k
reading now
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
i was going to mention her ether was cobalt
u beat me to it
cagedmind0531
How goes it?
forrestjones2010
i am speechless...
cagedmind0531
So that's good then right? lol
forrestjones2010
yes ofcourse
cagedmind0531
ok groovy
forrestjones2010
it needs attention here and there but the spirit of it is immaculate
cagedmind0531
Ok well do you want to go over some editing points right fast then?
forrestjones2010
not sure
that is the end of ch 6 right
cagedmind0531
um...it could be or her funeral could be
forrestjones2010
how many words is it so far
cagedmind0531
It's 7 pages so it's a bit short for a chapter
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
So I figure next chapter Graven gets pissed and leaves [possibly] because Gaia left him, with his child no less
not sure
forrestjones2010
i dont think i want to edit tonight
cagedmind0531
k np
forrestjones2010
plotting sounds more fun
what do you want to do
cagedmind0531
let's discuss this chapter a bit then move on to the next
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
ok so we killed Gaia...does Siren do something?
We are going to have issues at this point because we need to decide how fast we advance time here
I was thinking possibly that we leave Graven for a while after the funeral. Discuss Siren a bit, give her some things she tries to do
Then at the end of whatever is written about her we zone in on her trying to kill graven again
forrestjones2010
thinking
how old is kaylx?
cagedmind0531
baby, not a year old I don't think
I need to insert some scenes where the baby is being cared for but it is rather tedious
forrestjones2010
siren is going to kidnap her
graven will never know her
cagedmind0531
good idea, why does she kidnap her?
forrestjones2010
many reasons
tension
she is powerful
much more so than Gaia
feiny wants the dna
peyton wants a protegie
siren want o be a mommy
cagedmind0531
Ok well we need to pick one of them that is the most believable.
forrestjones2010
Siren needs a new weapon
leave it open for now
we can decide later
snatch the nibbler
Graven doesnt even suspect it
cagedmind0531
What did you think about the poem btw? is it ok or could it stand to be changed?
forrestjones2010
the curse doesnt turn her human
it rocked
cagedmind0531
ok good
forrestjones2010
better than i could have done myself
cagedmind0531
I doubt that but thanks much.
It took me a while to decide on a rhyme scheme
forrestjones2010
Kaylx is the last Etherian right?
cagedmind0531
Yes she is
forrestjones2010
sweet
rare hoe
Peyton will be pleased
Siren will be redeemed
cagedmind0531
Would it be odd for Graven to just not notice his child is gone because Gaia is dead. Like Veyn was watching her and tries to tell graven what ha
forrestjones2010
this will be her first assignment she doesnt botch in a while
cagedmind0531
happened but he doesn't hear it
There?
forrestjones2010
thinking
yeah thats odd
I want him to see siren tke her
and him be helpless to do anything
I want it to take place at the same place gaia died
cagedmind0531
ok...we could actually kill off Graven for a few chapters. Graven disappears after his wife dies and child is abducted
forrestjones2010
maybe
cagedmind0531
Something big has to happen with Graven after this because he is going to be decimated
forrestjones2010
I want someone to be in Corals old cell
put Graven there because he goes crazy
cagedmind0531
Maybe he almost kills Veyn for letting his child get kidnapped
forrestjones2010
put him there in holding under survellence
i need him to discover Corals writings on the walls of her cage
cagedmind0531
Does it occur to you by the way that Graven is kind of two dimensional so far
forrestjones2010
in a peculiar way
cagedmind0531
So far Graven is just 'the good guy'
forrestjones2010
what do you mean 2D?
cagedmind0531
He's like two dimensional. Not developed. All his decisions he has had to make have been obvious
forrestjones2010
have him kill Coral and then the "community locks him in her cell
karmic retribution
cagedmind0531
Killing her would definitely be big. Maybe too big.
forrestjones2010
its her fault Gaia is dead
she is the reason gaia is dead and iboga was born
cagedmind0531
That's not bad. But I don't think the community would approach Graven
Think about it
He killed Iboga
Basically
They were petrified of Iboga
I think Graven would leave on his own before they would imprison him
forrestjones2010
thinking
cagedmind0531
By the way Graven in the future post dates siren
forrestjones2010
what does that mean
cagedmind0531
It means Graven in the future is at a later date then Siren. He is after the scalping, she is before.
She is at the height of tech he is at the fall of it
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
We could so easily make this into more then 1 book
I've been thinking about it
forrestjones2010
i am with you on that
cagedmind0531
I say we just write it out and if it ends at 320 pages it ends, if not we keep going but start looking for publsihers
publishers*
forrestjones2010
agreed
cagedmind0531
Ok so we've built Graven up as a hero, now we tear him down
forrestjones2010
burn baby burn
kill your darlings
kill em all
cagedmind0531
One potential problem is the injections I have been giving future Graven. What is he trying to change if not Gaia's death
forrestjones2010
maybe he is not as 2d as he appears
introduce another agenda with the injections
cagedmind0531
What if he is almost dead from scar tissue. But he is undoing the dmg piece by piece by using the injections to make the injuries never have happened
forrestjones2010
we could link Coral's cage to the future
what if the ethereal writings on the cell wall created the storm crow
and when there pattern is ciphered
the universe along with its secrets are decoded
power to whoever dicovers it
just brainstorming
cagedmind0531
figured
forrestjones2010
any of that sound good?
cagedmind0531
Not fond of Graven being imprisoned. As far as what she wrote in her caged madness I don't know. This is my first time to think of her beyond the terms of what is happening now
forrestjones2010
k
so far I like the kidnapping at the death spot by siren...are you on board with that?
cagedmind0531
I am on board with it but I want a good reason before we commit to it.
Siren is a mercenary. She's not going to do something just to do it.
There has to be a specific reason.
Plus kidnapping a kid is a hell of alot more then picking off parts throughout history
We would need a scene with Peyton or something demanding she get paid more
There?
forrestjones2010
yes
cagedmind0531
I really think we need the purpose now before later because it needs to be brought up repeatedly throughout the book. If the child is going to grow up it's going to be a recurring character
forrestjones2010
thinking
cagedmind0531
With me on that point though?
forrestjones2010
not really
i think it can be defined tommorow
brb
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
tish needs some help
cagedmind0531
np
I've got it! They kidnap her believing her DNA is special...but it's not! It's her beliefs that will make her powerful and thus the child is useless and they are going to dispose of her
But Siren stops them
And takes the baby
forrestjones2010
i need some process time on this one
her ether is more powerful than cobalt
cagedmind0531
I don't want her DNA to be special. IMO belief should make her special. Belief dictating reality is a good theme
Plus this gives good reason as to what would happen with the baby. Would AI raise it otherwise?
forrestjones2010
what if her ether is not ether at all what if it is Chrome
what if she is the first of the Chrome
Book 2
cagedmind0531
We differ on this one pretty big because I don't want her to be much larger then life. Her mother was a martyr with some powers true, but maybe she will manifest these later in life and they give up on her because it's not in her DNA
Or maybe the change in her is not something DNA or eyes or tests can show
forrestjones2010
if she is not special then why kidnap her at all
that is like writing just to write
with no purpose
cagedmind0531
Because they thought her DNA would give them some insight into Gaia. A way to exploit it. What if her DNA is needed in order for the nanoprobes to enter the tree
maybe not her dna but her ether specifically, otherwise why not take a fingernail or a piece of hair
forrestjones2010
thats interesting
cagedmind0531
So maybe her DNA is only special at first because it allows them to enter the Gaia tree but...
later on in her life she realizes she has powers
But they discard the child after they have taken her blood
forrestjones2010
how about they take the fetus
cagedmind0531
Siren rescues the child and tries to cut ties with Peyton
forrestjones2010
embryo
cagedmind0531
Well the child is already born
forrestjones2010
the second unborn child
she is pregnant
cagedmind0531
ah that's right
Maybe they don't know that though. Hell even Graven didn't know
forrestjones2010
better yet the dead body
talk about piss off a husband
cagedmind0531
Maybe they take the dead body and fetus and find out that it's not enough
That it has to be live ether
forrestjones2010
then they take kalyx
cagedmind0531
aye
forrestjones2010
then kill her
then kill graven
cagedmind0531
You don't want the baby to grow up?
forrestjones2010
then kill all the goats in the city
cagedmind0531
rofl all the trench goats
forrestjones2010
trench goats indeed
she can live
i just dont want to happy of an ending
cagedmind0531
So I think we're together on this so far. Siren comes. Takes the body of his dead wife and fetus. Do tests. It'
s not enough
They decide to kidnap Kalyx who has become all Graven lives for
forrestjones2010
k
yes
cagedmind0531
We make it clear that they intend to enter the Gaiasphere
We don't know why yet
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
awe man I just had a thought
Totally off the wall and random. Not even sure it would work.
forrestjones2010
listening
cagedmind0531
wait nvm I don't like it
forgot one detail
forrestjones2010
tease
cagedmind0531
moving on
lol
forrestjones2010
tell me
cagedmind0531
was gonna say what if Kalyx is Siren
forrestjones2010
mind flip
cagedmind0531
yeah lol it won't work
forrestjones2010
right
cagedmind0531
random thought
forrestjones2010
sounds like something i would threw in the mix
cagedmind0531
Ok so we are halfway through the book now we need to start making clear the motivations of the future people
Why they are doing what they are doing
forrestjones2010
control
the past is purpose
the future is control
the breaking of both of these curses is love
cagedmind0531
By the way as far as the ending. What if it's a bad ending but then they find a Gaia seed.
So it's a bad ending with hope
forrestjones2010
ok
it will come as it comes
cagedmind0531
ok so anyway
This chapter ends with Gaia's funeral.
Graven is in mourning at the start of the next chapter. He is irate with Coral.
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
what now?
forrestjones2010
funeral/bodysnatch
cagedmind0531
Does Graven find out she stole the body?
forrestjones2010
hmmmmm
no
cagedmind0531
k
Then you or I will write a siren scene discussing the experimentation on the cells
forrestjones2010
either way
cagedmind0531
You never did post your entire scene from before btw
forrestjones2010
they fail right?
the siren scene
?
cagedmind0531
Yes they fail trying to use DNA to enter the Gaiasphere, and it is airtight, water tight, can't be burned or scraped
Yeah the scene with the won tons
forrestjones2010
you lost me
won tons
?
cagedmind0531
Yeah that introduces Peyton etc
You wrote it...it's several pages...
forrestjones2010
that is a complete scene
cagedmind0531
You didn't give me all of it
forrestjones2010
i had to cut it off
cagedmind0531
oh
forrestjones2010
it ran to long
cagedmind0531
Did it? I think it needs to keep going to make any sense at all
You need to establish why you are telling them all of this. What exactly is Peyton to Siren
forrestjones2010
oh...gotcha
i will go back
almost forgot about that
Coral took over
cagedmind0531
From here on out Siren will be more and more predominant
We need her grounded. With a real hierchy
hierarchy*
forrestjones2010
she gotz plenty a demz
cagedmind0531
Don't make the reader guess that it's her boss. Flat out say it.
That right there gives emotion to the scene
If your unscrupulous boss had you in a chair and you couldn't move, and you fucked up
How would you feel
I'd feel pretty damn scared even if he was being nice to me, especially if he was being nice to me
forrestjones2010
hmmm
so much for finess
cagedmind0531
I've just given it some more thought
forrestjones2010
hi boss stop slapping me in the face with that monster of a dildo please
cagedmind0531
rofl
forrestjones2010
i guess you have
why the change of heart
why the direct approach
quihote?
cagedmind0531
It doesn't need alot of change honestly. A few sentences can make the change apparent
I just don't want to write them, I'd rather you did so it fits better.
When I start changing things sometimes it loses what you gave it
The ambience of the scene cannot be beat
You can tell you've been where you were describing
forrestjones2010
i see
cagedmind0531
If you disagree let me know and we can discuss it.
forrestjones2010
i dont want to get bogged down in edit at the moment
cagedmind0531
Ok no problem
The segment goes in later anyway
forrestjones2010
how much later
cagedmind0531
Either chapter 7 or 8 depending on if 7 is a Siren centered chapter which I think it should be
Are you wanting to phase the Siren stuff in more gradually or start doing it now?
forrestjones2010
at first i wanted to phase it in in pieces...small chunks...but you kept pushing it back and rewriting it
so now i dont know
i guess at one time
cagedmind0531
Sorry I didn't mean to throw you off
forrestjones2010
no its cool i dont really care where it goes
i am flexible
i think its paradoxical that you dont want the protagonist caged and your screen name is "cagedmind"
cagedmind0531
rofl
My mind is caged my body is free!
It's a conundrum
forrestjones2010
if you say so
sondorman
condorman
cagedmind0531
lol
ok so let's map on chapter...7 is it?
forrestjones2010
7...i am so excited
cagedmind0531
Dude I can't believe we are almost halfway there!
forrestjones2010
it opens with Peyton dissecting gaia assisted by strassman and feiny
i know right
Siren watchesclening her guns
cagedmind0531
Oh so we are having the abduction take place at the end of chapter 6?
forrestjones2010
funeral
end of 6
cagedmind0531
Not the abduction the body snatching I meant
forrestjones2010
right
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
idea
cagedmind0531
After much frustration they learn that DNA is not enough and I would go so far as to honestly having them breaking into the facility where the Gaiasphere is in the modern world to test it.
That could be Siren's mission
Go ahead
forrestjones2010
ch 7 could open with the dissection without an explaination of an abuction the reader would assume siren did it
or we could use dialouge areound the table to say
cagedmind0531
Good idea.
forrestjones2010
good job on getting them here
something to that effect
cagedmind0531
ok, are you cool with them sending Siren to test it?
forrestjones2010
yes
cagedmind0531
The Gaia tree has like maximum security. It's a living relic
Picture Jesus's tomb with Jesus still in it alive somehow
forrestjones2010
nice
cagedmind0531
That's how prized it would be
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
Are you going to have Peyton there? or should your other piece intro him later?
forrestjones2010
sorry where?
cagedmind0531
beginning of chapter 7
forrestjones2010
Peyton is a chick and yes she will be there
head of surgery
cagedmind0531
k
and technically she is a computer so there!
forrestjones2010
right
she is a whore to
too
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
she likes to give it up to strassman and feiny
like government cheese
cagedmind0531
rofl
Ok so then what
forrestjones2010
how does Gaia come back to life
cagedmind0531
She doesn't
She be dead
and is a tree
forrestjones2010
i thought graven visited her as a spirit somewhere
cagedmind0531
Oh we discussed them being able to talk through the star on their chest. We can add that or not
Either way
forrestjones2010
peyton puts her and Sepal into Hunab Ku after she finds out they are useless to her agenda
cagedmind0531
Hunab Ku?
forrestjones2010
Hunab Ku is a vault full of weapons in the middle of the spinning mega black hole at the center of the Milky Way
cagedmind0531
That sounds a bit out there sir
forrestjones2010
its Peytons hiding place for important weapons and paperwork
it will be our little secret jason
cagedmind0531
rofl
forrestjones2010
remember "the nerd copy"
cagedmind0531
lol ok
Ok so then...
The experiment fails. He dumps the bodies.
forrestjones2010
yes
cagedmind0531
Then he discusses what they can do now and arrive at the idea of abducting the child
Siren disagrees and almost refuses flat out to do it
But they force her to somehow
forrestjones2010
good
she does so with relative ease
i need to get some shut eye
cagedmind0531
alrighty man
night
forrestjones2010
awesome work today
really awesome
cagedmind0531
Yeah we both did some great work
The coral idea really ties everything together really well
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
convo 4.17.10 with jason
cagedmind0531 appears to be offline
He or she will receive your messages after signing in.
forrestjones2010
you up
there?
where you atz
cagedmind0531
here now. was napping
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
So how are these new meds? You've been really quiet for like 4 days
forrestjones2010
same meds higher dosages
cagedmind0531
ah I see. Did you tell him the old ones weren't working?
forrestjones2010
no
just needed a higher dosage on one of them
cagedmind0531
ah ok
forrestjones2010
tish strarted bitching about me being on meds in general
cagedmind0531
Whatever. Let her bitch
forrestjones2010
i will they are really helping me jason..more than i ever thought to be possible
thank you for your support
she whould bitch to God about paradise
cagedmind0531
Well people who are fine don't and can't and usually won't understand
To hell with em
forrestjones2010
i agree
cagedmind0531
So what's been going on dude
Just sleeping alot?
forrestjones2010
yeah that it but when i am not i get lots and lots done
cagedmind0531
That's good
forrestjones2010
you help me through this man
cagedmind0531
Are there any other side effects other then the sleeping?
forrestjones2010
ana little dysfasia...i asked about a watch...i dont where a watch...thats was as i was going to sleep
and diahreahea
cagedmind0531
ha, they all cause diarhea lol
How has work been?
forrestjones2010
fantatic
cagedmind0531
cool beans
When you get used to your meds we need to go back to work asap. I've had no output
forrestjones2010
i am good lets roll
cagedmind0531
You getting on?
forrestjones2010
i am on
cagedmind0531
oh ok
Did we find a solution for chapter 11?
forrestjones2010
yes'3r/3rd/3rd
cagedmind0531
?
forrestjones2010
third iboga destruction/t2 thirds graven kaylx unite again commoe foe/sire
cagedmind0531
hmm, seems kinda broad
I need a direction. Something to keep me focused on writing. I am all over the place lately
forrestjones2010
thats what we agreed on the other day
cagedmind0531
Have you started with chapter 1 yet?
forrestjones2010
not yet
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
i have beed drawind siren and sculpting the gaisphe seFB
cagedmind0531
ah ok
what were you saying before on what we agreed the other day? my memory is really fuzzy tonight
forrestjones2010
we agreed that you woudl move forwrd...i would help weith bocks...and i would star rewrite of ch one building it out to be a bigger would because it is to small and secluded...
cagedmind0531
ok I remember
forrestjones2010
is that stil good with you?
cagedmind0531
yes
I hate whatever has happened to me. Writing isn't near what it was before
Now I am struggling for a page. Before I was doing 3-7 pages at a time
forrestjones2010
it just means you nead to process dont sweat it...
cagedmind0531
I hope so because nothing is coming
forrestjones2010
if you force it it garbage...or if you force it tiitle it fragements if the ind and use the particles ofr songsor other things...nothing is ever lost
i can write the rest of the book if need be
cagedmind0531
I appreciate the help.
forrestjones2010
i realy can
you may not like it with your control issues but i can finish i t easy
did i offend?
cagedmind0531
Nah, just frustrating sometimes that it comes so easy to you when I am struggling
forrestjones2010
what do you input?
through out the day
cagedmind0531
What do you mean?
forrestjones2010
music tv ames people
games
cagedmind0531
Nothing really. Just games sadly. Movies usually.
forrestjones2010
i am here to help you hash out anything man
that is wht a coauthor does
lets rip i t up
cagedmind0531
I've written a bit, one sec.
forrestjones2010
i don t mind
k
cagedmind0531
"Very well father, we will focus on the ramp."
And so they focused on the ramp ascending the Gaia tree. All traps and weapons had failed up to this point and the golem trudged on dragging nets and logs behind it. Suredly it began to ascend the slope. The pitfalls placed along the ascent were failing as well. Every time Iboga approached one, it was if he sensed the deceit. The golem would kneel down, and then leap forward, shaking the ground with each landing and traversing the pits.
forrestjones2010
this would be a good time to plug in the legions of helpers
cagedmind0531
The crowds gathered and ultimately the only thing standing in the way of the golem and the tree was Graven, all the pitfalls had been traversed. He fell back to the plan and marked the rune for ice upon the steep ascent. The entirety of the ramp grew cold and wet as the water condensed before finally a sheet of ice covered it. The golem ignored it at first then two steps later the friction anchoring the machine collapsed. The machine began to slip down the gradient and after mere moments it was crawling to maintain whatever footing it hoped to hold.
forrestjones2010
ibogas high priests
soryy
i had to do an pgrade
cagedmind0531
ok
forrestjones2010
idea
cagedmind0531
?
forrestjones2010
what if one of the minor suns is summoned by graven and gaia to consume ibago and the mino sun is a prison
cagedmind0531
sun?
Did you read what I wrote?
forrestjones2010
sun in the sky
yes
cagedmind0531
Graven laid there upon his back, it was obvious parts of him were broken. Kalyx ran to his side there upon the ground.
"Father! Father! Are you alright?"
"I will survive Kalyx, but the tree...the tree is condemned. Iboga will enter the sacred spirit realm of Gaia and pollute all within. There is no way to stop him now. Even as these moments pass his drill has made contact with the tree. It doesn't see him as a threat."
"There is one last resort father. I will call to the tree. It will hear me, I feel it."
"No Kalyx, you mustn't. You don't understand! The tree is dark, the only light in the tree is your mom and when she was taken in it calmed the stormed heart of the tree. If you call to her, if her guard slips, there is no telling what darkness will awaken during the distraction.
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
Yes/no?
forrestjones2010
it could work...what bout the sun
that could start the sun worship sect
cagedmind0531
I'm trying to make give us fuel for chapter 11. If something dark awakens in the tree...oh I see what you mean
hmm
What if the sun is the solution to healing the tree in chapter 11
forrestjones2010
could be
cagedmind0531
well the good news is we are at 184 pages
forrestjones2010
nice
cagedmind0531
This is kind of what I have in mind for the end of the book
Graven stood there in the silence after the relic's energy transpired and the husk was before him. The Book of IND sat in his right hand and in his left he now held the ported mind of a machine, the third part of the book. The first part, the book of the body, was born on the wings of coral's death and written in the script of her blood. The second part was transcribed on pages born of soul wax and burnt into reality, the book of the soul. Finally the third part sat within his fingers. It was nothing but a small drive, and now the fate of the universe and all life hung in the balance of his fingertips. This was the book of the mind. Together, Mind, Body, and Soul the book would lay completed and as he sat there reflecting he wondered if it was worth living again. He knew within his
heart he was the one, the final keeper of the book, the one observer to end with all things.
What do ya think?
forrestjones2010
resding
this take al of my endin ou
t
cagedmind0531
As he held the drive in his palm a door made of pure mercury manifested itself. It stood there stark against the bright white background and he knew it was time. As he neared the door began to pulse and as he touched it so was his body drawn within. He stood at the echelon of all time and space and where he expected some mystery or majesty all he found was a lodge...
Here at the end of all things was a cabin. Each wall made of logs and each wall adorned with a different masks. The four masks that made all things sat with their accomplisments annointed in paintings and pictures. The grand timeline of their efforts and milestones. In the far corner sat a crow upon a comfortable sofa chair. It turned to acknowledge Graven before dismissing his presence and making comfortable it's perch in
front of the fire
What about now? Does the rest of it make it better?
forrestjones2010
yes but i would like to see siren in he ending and some of the endng i wrote
cagedmind0531
I am trying to take half of each of what we want to make an ending
You will see some of your ending but not all of it. That wouldn't be fair to me. I plan to write in alot of what you wrote out before. I was thinking maybe Siren playing chess with the bird or something
forrestjones2010
i understand
we have far to go befor we get there
it will come
cagedmind0531
Yeah I am just starting it because I need something to work on when I can't write sequentially
Maybe it will help me
forrestjones2010
k
br b food
k
i am going to rest for a little whil
He or she will receive your messages after signing in.
forrestjones2010
you up
there?
where you atz
cagedmind0531
here now. was napping
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
So how are these new meds? You've been really quiet for like 4 days
forrestjones2010
same meds higher dosages
cagedmind0531
ah I see. Did you tell him the old ones weren't working?
forrestjones2010
no
just needed a higher dosage on one of them
cagedmind0531
ah ok
forrestjones2010
tish strarted bitching about me being on meds in general
cagedmind0531
Whatever. Let her bitch
forrestjones2010
i will they are really helping me jason..more than i ever thought to be possible
thank you for your support
she whould bitch to God about paradise
cagedmind0531
Well people who are fine don't and can't and usually won't understand
To hell with em
forrestjones2010
i agree
cagedmind0531
So what's been going on dude
Just sleeping alot?
forrestjones2010
yeah that it but when i am not i get lots and lots done
cagedmind0531
That's good
forrestjones2010
you help me through this man
cagedmind0531
Are there any other side effects other then the sleeping?
forrestjones2010
ana little dysfasia...i asked about a watch...i dont where a watch...thats was as i was going to sleep
and diahreahea
cagedmind0531
ha, they all cause diarhea lol
How has work been?
forrestjones2010
fantatic
cagedmind0531
cool beans
When you get used to your meds we need to go back to work asap. I've had no output
forrestjones2010
i am good lets roll
cagedmind0531
You getting on?
forrestjones2010
i am on
cagedmind0531
oh ok
Did we find a solution for chapter 11?
forrestjones2010
yes'3r/3rd/3rd
cagedmind0531
?
forrestjones2010
third iboga destruction/t2 thirds graven kaylx unite again commoe foe/sire
cagedmind0531
hmm, seems kinda broad
I need a direction. Something to keep me focused on writing. I am all over the place lately
forrestjones2010
thats what we agreed on the other day
cagedmind0531
Have you started with chapter 1 yet?
forrestjones2010
not yet
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
i have beed drawind siren and sculpting the gaisphe seFB
cagedmind0531
ah ok
what were you saying before on what we agreed the other day? my memory is really fuzzy tonight
forrestjones2010
we agreed that you woudl move forwrd...i would help weith bocks...and i would star rewrite of ch one building it out to be a bigger would because it is to small and secluded...
cagedmind0531
ok I remember
forrestjones2010
is that stil good with you?
cagedmind0531
yes
I hate whatever has happened to me. Writing isn't near what it was before
Now I am struggling for a page. Before I was doing 3-7 pages at a time
forrestjones2010
it just means you nead to process dont sweat it...
cagedmind0531
I hope so because nothing is coming
forrestjones2010
if you force it it garbage...or if you force it tiitle it fragements if the ind and use the particles ofr songsor other things...nothing is ever lost
i can write the rest of the book if need be
cagedmind0531
I appreciate the help.
forrestjones2010
i realy can
you may not like it with your control issues but i can finish i t easy
did i offend?
cagedmind0531
Nah, just frustrating sometimes that it comes so easy to you when I am struggling
forrestjones2010
what do you input?
through out the day
cagedmind0531
What do you mean?
forrestjones2010
music tv ames people
games
cagedmind0531
Nothing really. Just games sadly. Movies usually.
forrestjones2010
i am here to help you hash out anything man
that is wht a coauthor does
lets rip i t up
cagedmind0531
I've written a bit, one sec.
forrestjones2010
i don t mind
k
cagedmind0531
"Very well father, we will focus on the ramp."
And so they focused on the ramp ascending the Gaia tree. All traps and weapons had failed up to this point and the golem trudged on dragging nets and logs behind it. Suredly it began to ascend the slope. The pitfalls placed along the ascent were failing as well. Every time Iboga approached one, it was if he sensed the deceit. The golem would kneel down, and then leap forward, shaking the ground with each landing and traversing the pits.
forrestjones2010
this would be a good time to plug in the legions of helpers
cagedmind0531
The crowds gathered and ultimately the only thing standing in the way of the golem and the tree was Graven, all the pitfalls had been traversed. He fell back to the plan and marked the rune for ice upon the steep ascent. The entirety of the ramp grew cold and wet as the water condensed before finally a sheet of ice covered it. The golem ignored it at first then two steps later the friction anchoring the machine collapsed. The machine began to slip down the gradient and after mere moments it was crawling to maintain whatever footing it hoped to hold.
forrestjones2010
ibogas high priests
soryy
i had to do an pgrade
cagedmind0531
ok
forrestjones2010
idea
cagedmind0531
?
forrestjones2010
what if one of the minor suns is summoned by graven and gaia to consume ibago and the mino sun is a prison
cagedmind0531
sun?
Did you read what I wrote?
forrestjones2010
sun in the sky
yes
cagedmind0531
Graven laid there upon his back, it was obvious parts of him were broken. Kalyx ran to his side there upon the ground.
"Father! Father! Are you alright?"
"I will survive Kalyx, but the tree...the tree is condemned. Iboga will enter the sacred spirit realm of Gaia and pollute all within. There is no way to stop him now. Even as these moments pass his drill has made contact with the tree. It doesn't see him as a threat."
"There is one last resort father. I will call to the tree. It will hear me, I feel it."
"No Kalyx, you mustn't. You don't understand! The tree is dark, the only light in the tree is your mom and when she was taken in it calmed the stormed heart of the tree. If you call to her, if her guard slips, there is no telling what darkness will awaken during the distraction.
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
Yes/no?
forrestjones2010
it could work...what bout the sun
that could start the sun worship sect
cagedmind0531
I'm trying to make give us fuel for chapter 11. If something dark awakens in the tree...oh I see what you mean
hmm
What if the sun is the solution to healing the tree in chapter 11
forrestjones2010
could be
cagedmind0531
well the good news is we are at 184 pages
forrestjones2010
nice
cagedmind0531
This is kind of what I have in mind for the end of the book
Graven stood there in the silence after the relic's energy transpired and the husk was before him. The Book of IND sat in his right hand and in his left he now held the ported mind of a machine, the third part of the book. The first part, the book of the body, was born on the wings of coral's death and written in the script of her blood. The second part was transcribed on pages born of soul wax and burnt into reality, the book of the soul. Finally the third part sat within his fingers. It was nothing but a small drive, and now the fate of the universe and all life hung in the balance of his fingertips. This was the book of the mind. Together, Mind, Body, and Soul the book would lay completed and as he sat there reflecting he wondered if it was worth living again. He knew within his
heart he was the one, the final keeper of the book, the one observer to end with all things.
What do ya think?
forrestjones2010
resding
this take al of my endin ou
t
cagedmind0531
As he held the drive in his palm a door made of pure mercury manifested itself. It stood there stark against the bright white background and he knew it was time. As he neared the door began to pulse and as he touched it so was his body drawn within. He stood at the echelon of all time and space and where he expected some mystery or majesty all he found was a lodge...
Here at the end of all things was a cabin. Each wall made of logs and each wall adorned with a different masks. The four masks that made all things sat with their accomplisments annointed in paintings and pictures. The grand timeline of their efforts and milestones. In the far corner sat a crow upon a comfortable sofa chair. It turned to acknowledge Graven before dismissing his presence and making comfortable it's perch in
front of the fire
What about now? Does the rest of it make it better?
forrestjones2010
yes but i would like to see siren in he ending and some of the endng i wrote
cagedmind0531
I am trying to take half of each of what we want to make an ending
You will see some of your ending but not all of it. That wouldn't be fair to me. I plan to write in alot of what you wrote out before. I was thinking maybe Siren playing chess with the bird or something
forrestjones2010
i understand
we have far to go befor we get there
it will come
cagedmind0531
Yeah I am just starting it because I need something to work on when I can't write sequentially
Maybe it will help me
forrestjones2010
k
br b food
k
i am going to rest for a little whil
Friday, April 16, 2010
convo 4.15.10 with jason
cagedmind0531 appears to be offline
He or she will receive your messages after signing in.
cagedmind0531
I'm here
forrestjones2010
k computer acting funny
cagedmind0531
That sucks
forrestjones2010
i am good now
cagedmind0531
So what's been kickin
You there? I have an idea for the end of the book. I dreamed it.
forrestjones2010
here
go
cagedmind0531
Ok so Graven wakes up after some event to find himself in white surroundings with blinding light. His only refuge from the light is a mercurial door. He opens it.
Inside the door is a rather large room, similar to a hunting log cabin lodge. One each wall is a mask and on the walls are portrayals of events all throughout history.
In the corner a humanoid crow sits in a large lounge chair near a crackling fire with his feet sitting up. Graven takes in the room before noticing a book stand in the corner of the room.
He proceeds to the book stand and places[instinctively] the book upon it. Slowly it begins to animate, flipping through the pages quickly and efficiently.
forrestjones2010
i will be in and out...but keep going
cagedmind0531
All I got so far
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
I just picture the end of time as this big hunting lodge where each masks showcase their best work along each wall.
The crow sits in the corner comfortable and content with their competition. Kind of mocking it.
Just ideas.
forrestjones2010
k...
still in and out
cagedmind0531
opinions when you get a chance
forrestjones2010
will do...still in and out
cagedmind0531
What time will you be free?
forrestjones2010
in about 15 minutes
cagedmind0531
k
word up
forrestjones2010
sup
making it rain man
rain
cagedmind0531
You available yet?
forrestjones2010
not yet...still makin it rain...
cagedmind0531
Well I am going to take a nap then I guess. I didn't sleep well last night. I'll message you when I get up.
When I wake up we'll get some work done if you're free.
I think I may need you to finish this chapter. I am really stuck on it. We'll discuss it tonight.
forrestjones2010
k
k
morning
cagedmind0531
What's up
forrestjones2010
sup?
things are a little slower today
yesterday was hairy
you there?
cagedmind0531
here
Yeah I waited for quite a while yesterday then gave up. Figured you were busy or something
What time will you be free today?
forrestjones2010
i am here
cagedmind0531
So what did you think of the lodge idea from yesterday?
forrestjones2010
let me read it now
yesterday didnt end for me until 11pm
my brother is going through a divorce
and needed a friend last night
cagedmind0531
It's cool I understand
be right back in 5 minutes. mom is calling for something
forrestjones2010
i like
the ending
i finally figured out the tripple crossover that wont effect the integrity of The Ind
triple
cagedmind0531
What do you mean crossover? elaborate
forrestjones2010
k
The Ind is a creation story right?
so distant past
you know how different cultures through out time call things by different names but they are actually the same thing?
cagedmind0531
yes
go on
?
forrestjones2010
sorry
teresa needed me for a sec
one thing i had to do in my mind before i moved forward was reconcile Billy The Ind and Phillip Solomon
cagedmind0531
np
forrestjones2010
with out
effecting the integrity of The Ind
we wont be writing about any of the crossover points
I just had to set it up in my mind such that the infrastructure was in place for the future
if that makes sense
cagedmind0531
kinda lost as to what you are talking about. I get crossovers and all that but where are you headed
forrestjones2010
it involves The Soliton
The Chrome
Billy Purgatory
and Phillip Solomon
theses are all things that cast no variance for what we are doing now
i just needed to sort it out in my head
back up for a moment
cagedmind0531
ok
forrestjones2010
the different cultures identify in the past present and future different things
Phillip Solomon is a God like character
an evil God
cagedmind0531
Not in this book though
forrestjones2010
keep in mind we wont write this
right
it really doesnt have to be talked about here if you want to get back on track
its just a piece i had to write for the future universe writings to mke sense
*make
cagedmind0531
Kind of need to discuss what to do about me being stuck. I can't write this chapter anymore.
I've tried and tried and tried
I don't know if it's just this chapter or if I've lost my touch or whatever but something needs to be done.
lose ya?
forrestjones2010
ok where are you stuck
jason you will never loos your touch
loose
cagedmind0531
Preparations for stopping Iboga were well underway. The idea of him taking another life, or for that matter getting anywhere near the Gaia tree repulsed not only Graven, but the entire populace. They worked together making sure the traps were secure and the nets were competent and unforgiving. However nothing could prepare them for the arrival of the golem. The ground quaked and trees split as he entered the forest intent upon his goal of paradise to enter where he was not welcome, the afterlife of the Gaiasphere.
He stomped and he stormed in the thirty foot monstrosity lined with runes and all manner of pumps and gears. They grinded, screamed and screeched as he approached and Axium's nets seemed but humble strings snapped on his path to ascendancy. The first set of traps were utterly useless. There was no way they could have predicted the monster to be so gargantuan and powerful. Once he entered the city Iboga ignored all impediments.
That's all I can get
I can't get past that
forrestjones2010
wow
cagedmind0531
I just don't know where to go with it
Or what to do with it
forrestjones2010
ok...let me process
where are we by chapter
and page?
cagedmind0531
This will be the end of the chapter....I think
page 180ish
This could be the end of the chapter but more then likely need something else.
forrestjones2010
k
what chapter/
?
cagedmind0531
10
forrestjones2010
k
and it is toward the end already right?
cagedmind0531
Yeah more or less
forrestjones2010
what is Iboga's goal other than general destruction
cagedmind0531
He wants his spirit to enter the sphere
I guess. That can change.
Could just scrap it all. Nothing I have wrote lately has been worth it to me
forrestjones2010
hmmm
the writing itself is Hawt
we can find the direction
does he succeed?
in entering?
cagedmind0531
He succeeds in drilling a hole in the sphere
But he still can't enter I guess
forrestjones2010
where is our hero and what is he doing/she
cagedmind0531
Hero is here thinking of how to stop Iboga. Coordinating traps etc
I figured he could succeed but then the tree would strike back at him and throw him into the pit of wax
or something
forrestjones2010
thinking
who needs to become more 3d?
Kaylyx?
cagedmind0531
Kalyx
yes
forrestjones2010
lets have her shine with a big role to defeat Iboga
it would get him dead and work her in as a powerful figure
cagedmind0531
Yeah I can agree with that but I still don't know where to go with it.
Plus I have to consider how this affects the future. The machine is going to be something Asimov is interested in.
There?
forrestjones2010
yes
had to take a call
cagedmind0531
ok
forrestjones2010
brb
back
gotta run...appointment for work...fj
back
you there>
?
cagedmind0531
I'm here
forrestjones2010
Siren's origin is a place called Hunab Ku
i have been working on that too
cagedmind0531
ok
forrestjones2010
i have been working in analog lately
journals
Hunab Ku is the black whole at the center of a spiral Galaxy
how are you?
cagedmind0531
I'd be better if I were writing more but I'm not
forrestjones2010
you are doing great jason
really
perhaps the pasue is needed to process
cagedmind0531
I have been totally stumped man. I know thinking positive and all that is supposed to help but it hasn't
forrestjones2010
ok
whatever gets you by
cagedmind0531
I'm trying to be less negative
I really am
forrestjones2010
dharma
i accept you how you are
right now
today
my friend Jason
the badass writer
cagedmind0531
You going to be online tonight?
forrestjones2010
yes
cagedmind0531
What time is good?
forrestjones2010
you?
cagedmind0531
Yeah I'm going to nap a while but I'll be on all night if you can be
forrestjones2010
yeah...i will coffee up
i was on at 2 this morning
cagedmind0531
What time? 9-10?
forrestjones2010
yes and maybe earlier
cagedmind0531
Ok I'm gonna nap and I'll be on later. Message you then
forrestjones2010
k
sup?
cagedmind0531
Just woke up
forrestjones2010
all appointments...done
Coral's Death Print is the blue print for The Artifact right?
cagedmind0531
yes
forrestjones2010
k
I have started making the artifact...its an interactive puzzle with moving parts...
cagedmind0531
That's interesting
forrestjones2010
i am using your picture as my blueprint...will post pictures as i progress
cagedmind0531
ok
forrestjones2010
how ya feelin?
cagedmind0531
Ok I guess.
forrestjones2010
good
cagedmind0531
I think I found an angle....maybe
forrestjones2010
sweet...whatcha got?
cagedmind0531
"Our only solution is the ramp. We must defeat him on the ramp and see sure to encase him in the wax," Adahn exclaimed emphatically.
A ramp had been designed in order to delineate the exact route that Iboga would take to get up to the tree so the traps would assuredly be triggered. Along the route a large log had been counterbalanced to carry a large cauldron of wax kept above an open flame. The counterweighted log could easily direct the wax to the series of pits dug beneath the ramp where Iboga's golem and spirit were intended to be entombed.
"We could collapse the ramp upon him to send him tumbling to the pits but the wax will have to be on call immediately." Graven surmised.
"I can try to call upon Gaia's natural defenses. The tree is more then capable of dealing with threats to it's safety, however Iboga has entuned the resonance of his machine so that Gaia will not sense the threat till it's too late. She must be warned somehow..." Kalyx continued to seek an answer.
"Let us focus on the pits Kalyx. I do not believe we are capable of communicating with Gaia directly, I have tried for many years in vane." Graven rebuttled.
"We don't need to communicate father, simply warn her. Send her the intent of danger and surely she will react."
"Enough. We don't have time for whimsy. Even if she did react the tree could endanger all of us, we have no idea what it is capable of."
"Graven, it's Gaia. She's still there. I can sense her."
"The tree consumed your mother, we can't risk it doing the same. I am in wonder at the tree as well everyone else but it is too dangerous."
"But father.."
"No, I will not allow you to call upon Gaia. She has done enough and it is her time to rest and ours to act. We must stand united on this Kalyx."
"Very well father, we will focus on the ramp."
I'll give you a sec to read that while I get some food
What do ya think?
I'll be right back then. Gonna get a pizza.
forrestjones2010
i read it
direction is good
it furthers establishment of Kaylx and introduces family conflict
rock
headed home be back online then
coffee up
cagedmind0531
word up g
forrestjones2010
its been a good day
cagedmind0531
That's good. How's that?
forrestjones2010
business wise my work is fun again
and now i get to write
cagedmind0531
That's good
So what's kickin sir
forrestjones2010
relaxing and thinking about iboga wax
cagedmind0531
We could totally sell it as surfboard wax
forrestjones2010
sounds marketable
cagedmind0531
Iboga, for when you wanna hit the wave back!
lol
forrestjones2010
helz yes
cagedmind0531
So...
What if
Iboga decides to tunnel under the tree instead of assaulting it directly
Then Kalyx decides to call on Gaia and when she does Gaia collapses the pit into the warrens and it traps Iboga...or something
forrestjones2010
then they all realize together that Gaia IS sentient or respondent
cagedmind0531
Not sure the repurcussions of that.
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
So anywho
forrestjones2010
right
cagedmind0531
So about the lodge idea
We never really talked about it
forrestjones2010
its got potential but i thought you were against that type of ending a while back
i presnted something similar and you gave it a no go
cagedmind0531
No the reason I brought it up is because it incorporates alot of your ideas from before
It's very similar to what you suggested with some grounding changes
forrestjones2010
it seemed familiar
i think it has good direction and can work
cagedmind0531
Ok so chapter 11
is almost here
What are we doing for 11
forrestjones2010
ah a new chapter
we probably need to go back and look at an older outline
just as a gauge
in earnst i believe i need to reread from beginning to present
cagedmind0531
yeah I was afraid you'd say that
forrestjones2010
is that bad?
have you done the reread yet?
cagedmind0531
I just like to keep pushing forward but I see your point.
No I haven't yet.
forrestjones2010
it was just a thought
not necessary if you dont want to
cagedmind0531
I'm going to need to print it out. It's too annoying to try to read it on the computer.
So we can for sure get this going again now I think. Finally
forrestjones2010
indeed
i really just had to get that crossover thing straight in my head and get caught up on Billy
i am clear now
just need to reacclimate and start rolling
cagedmind0531
That'
That's good news
forrestjones2010
yeah i am totally clear
meds are on point
relationship is good
work is good
and corporation is going pretty good
i am on full go...sorry if i layed out to long
cagedmind0531
It's ok
So because of Iboga they learn about warrens that exist beneath the tree
forrestjones2010
i apologize if that frustrated you
cagedmind0531
no worries
forrestjones2010
so 11...i want to look back at the blog for an outline
has Graven been a leader in ch 10?
i keep thinking quest
cagedmind0531
No not really. I don't think so. He's trying to reassert himself a bit at the end of 10
forrestjones2010
and i want siren to show a lighter side i need to go back and finish some things too
i want the artifact to show up
claim its position
the scalping
just processing
cagedmind0531
k
So we really need to figure out how much more space we have to cover before we can start writing the ending.
forrestjones2010
yes...what are the high points...what has not been done
or said
about the universe
that must be said
cagedmind0531
First off we need to figure out where Asimov starts and initially learns about the artifact and how to create it.
Is he programmed with the info or...
forrestjones2010
i feel as if Iboga ends the creation
and we go into a "present" time
and then a future setting
ah
cagedmind0531
The present will become the future later, that is only temperary
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
That sounded kind of paradoxical
lol
forrestjones2010
lol
cagedmind0531
We should have that on the front of the book
The past will become the future later
lol
forrestjones2010
he he
cagedmind0531
So what's the plan Stan
forrestjones2010
thinking
scene and time shift after iboga's second death
what are the Large arcs?
cagedmind0531
hmmm good question
forrestjones2010
how many do we have left?
cagedmind0531
Um
I'm thinking
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
we need origins for almost all the characters
Asimov, Graven, Siren
forrestjones2010
true
thats a substantial amount of work in itself
cagedmind0531
Graven may not really need an origin because he wasn't really anything special till the eye came
forrestjones2010
i dreamed of the spike last night
i held it in my hand
and a version of the Artifact a mini version
cagedmind0531
Not really sure what arcs are left honestly. Maybe I need to reread some stuff myself
forrestjones2010
we nailed it one day in an outline format i am looking for that
cagedmind0531
Kalyx needs to be developed. We need to get to the end of Gaia's time which explains the beginning of the AI's time
forrestjones2010
agreed...this is paramount
cagedmind0531
So what even signifies the end of Gaias time
The real cultural death of Gaia
That causes people to forget her
*event
That even will end the second set of chapters and lead us into the third I think
event*
forrestjones2010
it can be ended by a non event
such as apathy
people just moved on
quit worshipping
cagedmind0531
moved on past god?
forrestjones2010
quit caring
yes
cagedmind0531
hmmm
forrestjones2010
just a thought
people sometimes get tired of him/her not showing up and just move on
like f this gaia stuff...skank never did anything for me
cagedmind0531
They could realize that the reality is that Gaia has no control of their lives, her only place is for their spirits
forrestjones2010
that works
cagedmind0531
where as technology has instant gratification
forrestjones2010
enter a new machine
cagedmind0531
That could do it.
forrestjones2010
lets do it...sonds solid
sounds
cagedmind0531
Is chapter 11 the place to end the era? that leaves the rest of the book to deal with the end already
forrestjones2010
i believe so...the first era feels done to me
cagedmind0531
Yeah, we can add stuff here and there but it seems to me the real 'happenings' are gonna be in the future
forrestjones2010
thats the feel i get...
the 2nd drft of the first part will be allot of stylizing...
but the events are nailed solid
cagedmind0531
This has been productive so far
http://the-ind.blogspot.com/2010/02/ind-overall-story-arc-february-112010.html
Is that what you were looking for?
I'm gonna get off the computer a bit. I'll be back on later. This was productive. Got alot sorted out. I need to think on it.
forrestjones2010
sorry
my brother just found out his wife is seeing someone else
had to take his call he is in allot of pain
i will brb...give me 15 or so
cagedmind0531
oh my god
forrestjones2010
no shit
this world is fo fucked up
brb
cagedmind0531
please take your time. I'll be back in a bit
forrestjones2010
k
ty
back
cagedmind0531
Is he ok?
forrestjones2010
he is in shock
cagedmind0531
How did he find out?
forrestjones2010
facebook...how 14 is that?
cagedmind0531
wow
seriously?
forrestjones2010
yep
i wish i could say i cant believe it
but nothing is shocking anymore
cagedmind0531
Is he getting a divorce?
Did he confront her?
forrestjones2010
yes and yes
cagedmind0531
wow
forrestjones2010
they hve both filed i think
cagedmind0531
geez
Was there any signs?
forrestjones2010
wrong one
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
anyway...refocus
i have a new Siren pic
posting
posted
brb
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
i am going to rest
night if i dont see you later
ON
i thought about the ending...Love it
just a little distracted last night
rock
cagedmind0531
really?
that's cool
I figure it blends both our ideas together
forrestjones2010
it totally works
i likes
The forest was thick dark and green with the aromas and musks of all kinds
filling the airs at every turn until Amisov walked into a clearing.
Axis spoke to her softly, "Let us not disturb them just yet and see who is the wiser."
Asimov was usually a willing participant to his silly games an compiled with
relative ease.
They peered into a 15 foot circular clearing where the four great masks had
been discovered by Graven and the nobles long ago. They where immaculate in
their construction and rivaled the very artistry of the Gaisphere(insert more
description of the masks in the clearing here). Two large figures sat stoic in great concentration dressed in full deep forest cool teperature regalia; heavy coats, sweaters large draping(wizard) head ware so as one could not ea
could not easily make out their faces.
Their body movement suggested that of old friends...
cagedmind0531
Yeah I've read it before I believe
forrestjones2010
i need to post this to site i think...its a possible ending i wrote a few weeks ago
ok
good
i reposted just in case
did you see the new siren sketch
in red?
cagedmind0531
Yeah I did
Loooks pretty strange
forrestjones2010
par for the course i suppose
be out for a bit...fj
back
morning
there?
cagedmind0531
I'm here now
forrestjones2010
me too!
and i am not that busy
cagedmind0531
How goes things? Talk to your brother?
forrestjones2010
yeah...he has good days and bad days
thanks for asking
cagedmind0531
Of course. I met him once or twice didn't I?
forrestjones2010
yeah...hurricane i think
cagedmind0531
Ah ok, not my finest hour
So anyway how goes work?
forrestjones2010
awesome
last day of tax season
i can breathe again
cagedmind0531
haha that's good
forrestjones2010
i am soaking the wood that will be the gaiasphere
today i carve
and sculpt
cagedmind0531
That sounds fun
forrestjones2010
what re you up to?
cagedmind0531
Nothing really. Just woke up.
forrestjones2010
sweet
cagedmind0531
So Beth will be over around 11 tonight. Other then that I am free to work whenever, so just give me a heads up
forrestjones2010
i can work from now until whenever
cagedmind0531
Ok so we need to hammer out chapter 11
forrestjones2010
lets roll
cagedmind0531
So let's say that they just defeated Iboga and trapped him in wax. That and Asimov just opened the vault. That's where we are more/less.
There?
forrestjones2010
brb
sorry
call came in
cagedmind0531
It's fine
Let me know whenever you're ready no rush. I'll be playing a game
forrestjones2010
k
back
cagedmind0531
k\
give me a sec, need a sandwich
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
so anyway
now what
forrestjones2010
ch 11
this is what i was thinking
corals death
is the end of the age
which gives birth in the form of the artifact to the new age
cagedmind0531
The age just started
ages last like 1000 years
forrestjones2010
?
cagedmind0531
We had the runic era, now it's the gaia era which lasts a long time till people fall from it and into the tech era
forrestjones2010
ok
semantics
age was the wrong word
so the era is over and tech starts with the artifact
cagedmind0531
I was thinking the tech era starts as people wane from Gaia and Syrka invents the AI sometime late in the era
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
The trick is how to show that several hundred years have passed before the era ends
forrestjones2010
indeed
that is a feat
cagedmind0531
ok so we need to figure out what happens after Iboga is delt with and after Asimov opens the vault
forrestjones2010
refresh me on asimov and the vault
cagedmind0531
Asimov brings Syrka in to interrogate him on how to open the vault. Syrka reveals he is Asimov's creator. Syrka also let's on that he is to open the vault of his own free will because he knows it's necessary for the last stage of the IND[the book] to be completed.
forrestjones2010
k ty
cagedmind0531
Then Syrka kills himself before Asimov can interrogate/torture him
I imagine that Syrka was just finishing the second part of the book just as he got captured. That would make sense
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
Ya with me or are things hazy?
forrestjones2010
with ya
cagedmind0531
So now it is revealed what the vault contains and what Coral's deathprint actually was.
And from there I don't know
forrestjones2010
deathprint=atifact blueprint
cagedmind0531
yeah
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
So we should probably flash back at this point to when Asimov first started seeking his immortality
I imagine it was created, then it began to observe itself and man and realized that at the rate man was going it would destroy itself leaving all the computers to rot, thus ending the AI's 'life'.
So it begins to research. It finds the history of the Gaiasphere and the book changes it's proverbial life.
forrestjones2010
processing
the book meaning The Ind changes its life?
cagedmind0531
No, just some random book about the history of the Gaiasphere. How it was the advent of souls etc
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
so half the chapter is a flash back to when Syrka created the AI etc, what's the other half
or is it a 1/3 of the chapter and the other 2/3's can be about siren and or Graven/Kalyx
forrestjones2010
1/3 syrka
2/3 graven/kaylx against something
to unite them against something
perhaps against siren
cagedmind0531
So one route we can go is that iboga damages the Gaia tree and it needs to repaired or something
forrestjones2010
we could have a group repairing
while graven/kaylyx unite quest against siren
what if siren takes part of iboga
as he is destroyed
she is a weapons collector
not a major part of him
cagedmind0531
We haven't really established her as a weapons collector. Are you going to do that or...?
forrestjones2010
just something that she thinks she can use
eventually she will need to be established as such
it fits in with her merc status
quasi merc status
cagedmind0531
Well she can be if that's what you want but storywise there isn't a need for it. Just saying
We could have her stealing a part of Iboga for Asimov
forrestjones2010
it is part of her core modus in the chrome
gatherer of talent and weapons
and yes for AI is fine
she collects for various reasons
not always to hoard
cagedmind0531
We'll need to go back and do some rewriting in order to make her want weapons. Cause if we go that direction I don't want it to be half way
forrestjones2010
thats fine
i can handle that
its just a nuance
doenst effect core story
just a curtain in a room
brb bathroom
cagedmind0531
What if Kalyx eventually appeals to Gaia's defenses and it backfires or something. Causes the tree to become tainted or something.
forrestjones2010
thinking
cagedmind0531
One problem we have with the book is that the earth doesn't seem big and populated
It feels small and secluded
forrestjones2010
it does...
cagedmind0531
That needs to be fixed
We need to add a wide world...somehow
forrestjones2010
future?
cagedmind0531
We could but I feel some of it has to come from the past
forrestjones2010
k
hit it from both angles or times
cagedmind0531
Yes
Do we need to create another sister or something?
sister city
I mean
forrestjones2010
perhaps
and reference lots of extended characters
large families
cagedmind0531
What if we create a character from somewhere else
forrestjones2010
that could work too
cagedmind0531
Like a pilgrim who comes to visit the Gaia tree
From far away
forrestjones2010
i like that
cagedmind0531
names?
forrestjones2010
Rutherford Cane
cagedmind0531
No to Cane. I feel it's overused
forrestjones2010
Arcane
cagedmind0531
hmmm
forrestjones2010
Black Zen
lol
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
Rocky Balboa
cagedmind0531
You know he wrote rocky in like 2 days
forrestjones2010
i know
cagedmind0531
rediculous
forrestjones2010
yo adriane
punc punch
grunt grunt
he cant write no dang gaisphere
cagedmind0531
ebaneizar
forrestjones2010
yes
dig
cagedmind0531
scrooge!
forrestjones2010
less the scrooge
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
Eben Azar
cagedmind0531
That works, sounds exotic
forrestjones2010
lol
do any of our characters have last names
Graven Hodges?
Sirend Davis
cagedmind0531
No they don't. That's easy to add later though
forrestjones2010
i just thought about that the other day
Sorenson
Son of Soren
cagedmind0531
Eben Azar Trenchgoat
forrestjones2010
i like Trenchgoats
cagedmind0531
I thought you might
forrestjones2010
he he
cagedmind0531
Sounds very sophisticated
This world being too small thing is a serious problem
It's going to take alot of work to correct it
What if
Graven holds a summit or something
Of all the elders from all the tribes
forrestjones2010
it can be nuanced in an rewrite 2
cagedmind0531
What do you think about the summit?
forrestjones2010
summit works
cagedmind0531
To discuss a problem? or...
forrestjones2010
iboga
gaiasphere
direction of the world/cities
trade
cagedmind0531
WHAT IF!
forrestjones2010
crime
cagedmind0531
Gaia had a seed, the first one ever. They are deciding whom should get it. We could even make a war over it if we felt like it
forrestjones2010
i like war
cagedmind0531
So this works? A summit over what to do with the seed?
forrestjones2010
yes
so what does the seed do
cagedmind0531
We really need to discuss other factions possibly and other interests.
forrestjones2010
what does it grow into
cagedmind0531
Another tree, another spirit vessel
forrestjones2010
rock
siren can introduce some more of her kind
peyton
cagedmind0531
You realize with this added on it's gonna be another 10-20 pages of rewrites and additions
forrestjones2010
yes
i am not in a hurry are you?
cagedmind0531
Nope.
forrestjones2010
i was at first
not anymore
i want this to be amazing
cagedmind0531
It's just intimidating to go back and try to insert stuff like this
forrestjones2010
tell you what
since you like to go forward
go forward
create a document of what has to be added
and i can focus on that
i dont mind rewrite or addition
we will probably disagree less this way
and it will help to ground my end
cagedmind0531
Mainly we just need some outside world introduced somehow
Other clans. They don't have to be that different
forrestjones2010
i think i get what you mean and need
cagedmind0531
But maybe representatives from those clans show up to discuss the changes happening once the Gaia tree is born.
forrestjones2010
nothing bizare just fill up the joint with life
cagedmind0531
and yes
forrestjones2010
right i am on board
cagedmind0531
It can be as simple as referencing another city
sometimes
forrestjones2010
what if i start the first rewrite/edit and begin to add life
right
cagedmind0531
that sounds good
forrestjones2010
thats what i will do
cagedmind0531
Do you need me to mail youu the master document?
forrestjones2010
i will help you get unstuck if it happens and begin to edit/fill /rewrite
yeah go ahead
cagedmind0531
sent
forrestjones2010
sweet
as always i will add names as place holders for cities and people
they can be changed whenever
cagedmind0531
When we're done this will put us over 200 pages easily.
forrestjones2010
wowsers
have we discussed planets and the sun
cagedmind0531
Not really
forrestjones2010
or sciences
k
sun worshippers
religions outside of gaia worship
we need to have a group who thinks gaia is not the way to go
dissenters
cagedmind0531
True. That's something big we need to pan out
forrestjones2010
just for variety and clash
cagedmind0531
Rune worship maybe
forrestjones2010
rune worship
sun worship
iboga worship
The Necantors worship ibogas darkness
or something
they try to become demons and cut themselves
and dance and chant and slay
cagedmind0531
Maybe Iboga was worship was common and now that he's a spirit it's been elevated
forrestjones2010
i like
saint iboganovana
jj
cagedmind0531
It doesn't sound that bad lol
gonna lay down a bit, lot to think about now
I'll be on later
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
this is falling into place now
If we can pull off all the stuff we discussed
He or she will receive your messages after signing in.
cagedmind0531
I'm here
forrestjones2010
k computer acting funny
cagedmind0531
That sucks
forrestjones2010
i am good now
cagedmind0531
So what's been kickin
You there? I have an idea for the end of the book. I dreamed it.
forrestjones2010
here
go
cagedmind0531
Ok so Graven wakes up after some event to find himself in white surroundings with blinding light. His only refuge from the light is a mercurial door. He opens it.
Inside the door is a rather large room, similar to a hunting log cabin lodge. One each wall is a mask and on the walls are portrayals of events all throughout history.
In the corner a humanoid crow sits in a large lounge chair near a crackling fire with his feet sitting up. Graven takes in the room before noticing a book stand in the corner of the room.
He proceeds to the book stand and places[instinctively] the book upon it. Slowly it begins to animate, flipping through the pages quickly and efficiently.
forrestjones2010
i will be in and out...but keep going
cagedmind0531
All I got so far
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
I just picture the end of time as this big hunting lodge where each masks showcase their best work along each wall.
The crow sits in the corner comfortable and content with their competition. Kind of mocking it.
Just ideas.
forrestjones2010
k...
still in and out
cagedmind0531
opinions when you get a chance
forrestjones2010
will do...still in and out
cagedmind0531
What time will you be free?
forrestjones2010
in about 15 minutes
cagedmind0531
k
word up
forrestjones2010
sup
making it rain man
rain
cagedmind0531
You available yet?
forrestjones2010
not yet...still makin it rain...
cagedmind0531
Well I am going to take a nap then I guess. I didn't sleep well last night. I'll message you when I get up.
When I wake up we'll get some work done if you're free.
I think I may need you to finish this chapter. I am really stuck on it. We'll discuss it tonight.
forrestjones2010
k
k
morning
cagedmind0531
What's up
forrestjones2010
sup?
things are a little slower today
yesterday was hairy
you there?
cagedmind0531
here
Yeah I waited for quite a while yesterday then gave up. Figured you were busy or something
What time will you be free today?
forrestjones2010
i am here
cagedmind0531
So what did you think of the lodge idea from yesterday?
forrestjones2010
let me read it now
yesterday didnt end for me until 11pm
my brother is going through a divorce
and needed a friend last night
cagedmind0531
It's cool I understand
be right back in 5 minutes. mom is calling for something
forrestjones2010
i like
the ending
i finally figured out the tripple crossover that wont effect the integrity of The Ind
triple
cagedmind0531
What do you mean crossover? elaborate
forrestjones2010
k
The Ind is a creation story right?
so distant past
you know how different cultures through out time call things by different names but they are actually the same thing?
cagedmind0531
yes
go on
?
forrestjones2010
sorry
teresa needed me for a sec
one thing i had to do in my mind before i moved forward was reconcile Billy The Ind and Phillip Solomon
cagedmind0531
np
forrestjones2010
with out
effecting the integrity of The Ind
we wont be writing about any of the crossover points
I just had to set it up in my mind such that the infrastructure was in place for the future
if that makes sense
cagedmind0531
kinda lost as to what you are talking about. I get crossovers and all that but where are you headed
forrestjones2010
it involves The Soliton
The Chrome
Billy Purgatory
and Phillip Solomon
theses are all things that cast no variance for what we are doing now
i just needed to sort it out in my head
back up for a moment
cagedmind0531
ok
forrestjones2010
the different cultures identify in the past present and future different things
Phillip Solomon is a God like character
an evil God
cagedmind0531
Not in this book though
forrestjones2010
keep in mind we wont write this
right
it really doesnt have to be talked about here if you want to get back on track
its just a piece i had to write for the future universe writings to mke sense
*make
cagedmind0531
Kind of need to discuss what to do about me being stuck. I can't write this chapter anymore.
I've tried and tried and tried
I don't know if it's just this chapter or if I've lost my touch or whatever but something needs to be done.
lose ya?
forrestjones2010
ok where are you stuck
jason you will never loos your touch
loose
cagedmind0531
Preparations for stopping Iboga were well underway. The idea of him taking another life, or for that matter getting anywhere near the Gaia tree repulsed not only Graven, but the entire populace. They worked together making sure the traps were secure and the nets were competent and unforgiving. However nothing could prepare them for the arrival of the golem. The ground quaked and trees split as he entered the forest intent upon his goal of paradise to enter where he was not welcome, the afterlife of the Gaiasphere.
He stomped and he stormed in the thirty foot monstrosity lined with runes and all manner of pumps and gears. They grinded, screamed and screeched as he approached and Axium's nets seemed but humble strings snapped on his path to ascendancy. The first set of traps were utterly useless. There was no way they could have predicted the monster to be so gargantuan and powerful. Once he entered the city Iboga ignored all impediments.
That's all I can get
I can't get past that
forrestjones2010
wow
cagedmind0531
I just don't know where to go with it
Or what to do with it
forrestjones2010
ok...let me process
where are we by chapter
and page?
cagedmind0531
This will be the end of the chapter....I think
page 180ish
This could be the end of the chapter but more then likely need something else.
forrestjones2010
k
what chapter/
?
cagedmind0531
10
forrestjones2010
k
and it is toward the end already right?
cagedmind0531
Yeah more or less
forrestjones2010
what is Iboga's goal other than general destruction
cagedmind0531
He wants his spirit to enter the sphere
I guess. That can change.
Could just scrap it all. Nothing I have wrote lately has been worth it to me
forrestjones2010
hmmm
the writing itself is Hawt
we can find the direction
does he succeed?
in entering?
cagedmind0531
He succeeds in drilling a hole in the sphere
But he still can't enter I guess
forrestjones2010
where is our hero and what is he doing/she
cagedmind0531
Hero is here thinking of how to stop Iboga. Coordinating traps etc
I figured he could succeed but then the tree would strike back at him and throw him into the pit of wax
or something
forrestjones2010
thinking
who needs to become more 3d?
Kaylyx?
cagedmind0531
Kalyx
yes
forrestjones2010
lets have her shine with a big role to defeat Iboga
it would get him dead and work her in as a powerful figure
cagedmind0531
Yeah I can agree with that but I still don't know where to go with it.
Plus I have to consider how this affects the future. The machine is going to be something Asimov is interested in.
There?
forrestjones2010
yes
had to take a call
cagedmind0531
ok
forrestjones2010
brb
back
gotta run...appointment for work...fj
back
you there>
?
cagedmind0531
I'm here
forrestjones2010
Siren's origin is a place called Hunab Ku
i have been working on that too
cagedmind0531
ok
forrestjones2010
i have been working in analog lately
journals
Hunab Ku is the black whole at the center of a spiral Galaxy
how are you?
cagedmind0531
I'd be better if I were writing more but I'm not
forrestjones2010
you are doing great jason
really
perhaps the pasue is needed to process
cagedmind0531
I have been totally stumped man. I know thinking positive and all that is supposed to help but it hasn't
forrestjones2010
ok
whatever gets you by
cagedmind0531
I'm trying to be less negative
I really am
forrestjones2010
dharma
i accept you how you are
right now
today
my friend Jason
the badass writer
cagedmind0531
You going to be online tonight?
forrestjones2010
yes
cagedmind0531
What time is good?
forrestjones2010
you?
cagedmind0531
Yeah I'm going to nap a while but I'll be on all night if you can be
forrestjones2010
yeah...i will coffee up
i was on at 2 this morning
cagedmind0531
What time? 9-10?
forrestjones2010
yes and maybe earlier
cagedmind0531
Ok I'm gonna nap and I'll be on later. Message you then
forrestjones2010
k
sup?
cagedmind0531
Just woke up
forrestjones2010
all appointments...done
Coral's Death Print is the blue print for The Artifact right?
cagedmind0531
yes
forrestjones2010
k
I have started making the artifact...its an interactive puzzle with moving parts...
cagedmind0531
That's interesting
forrestjones2010
i am using your picture as my blueprint...will post pictures as i progress
cagedmind0531
ok
forrestjones2010
how ya feelin?
cagedmind0531
Ok I guess.
forrestjones2010
good
cagedmind0531
I think I found an angle....maybe
forrestjones2010
sweet...whatcha got?
cagedmind0531
"Our only solution is the ramp. We must defeat him on the ramp and see sure to encase him in the wax," Adahn exclaimed emphatically.
A ramp had been designed in order to delineate the exact route that Iboga would take to get up to the tree so the traps would assuredly be triggered. Along the route a large log had been counterbalanced to carry a large cauldron of wax kept above an open flame. The counterweighted log could easily direct the wax to the series of pits dug beneath the ramp where Iboga's golem and spirit were intended to be entombed.
"We could collapse the ramp upon him to send him tumbling to the pits but the wax will have to be on call immediately." Graven surmised.
"I can try to call upon Gaia's natural defenses. The tree is more then capable of dealing with threats to it's safety, however Iboga has entuned the resonance of his machine so that Gaia will not sense the threat till it's too late. She must be warned somehow..." Kalyx continued to seek an answer.
"Let us focus on the pits Kalyx. I do not believe we are capable of communicating with Gaia directly, I have tried for many years in vane." Graven rebuttled.
"We don't need to communicate father, simply warn her. Send her the intent of danger and surely she will react."
"Enough. We don't have time for whimsy. Even if she did react the tree could endanger all of us, we have no idea what it is capable of."
"Graven, it's Gaia. She's still there. I can sense her."
"The tree consumed your mother, we can't risk it doing the same. I am in wonder at the tree as well everyone else but it is too dangerous."
"But father.."
"No, I will not allow you to call upon Gaia. She has done enough and it is her time to rest and ours to act. We must stand united on this Kalyx."
"Very well father, we will focus on the ramp."
I'll give you a sec to read that while I get some food
What do ya think?
I'll be right back then. Gonna get a pizza.
forrestjones2010
i read it
direction is good
it furthers establishment of Kaylx and introduces family conflict
rock
headed home be back online then
coffee up
cagedmind0531
word up g
forrestjones2010
its been a good day
cagedmind0531
That's good. How's that?
forrestjones2010
business wise my work is fun again
and now i get to write
cagedmind0531
That's good
So what's kickin sir
forrestjones2010
relaxing and thinking about iboga wax
cagedmind0531
We could totally sell it as surfboard wax
forrestjones2010
sounds marketable
cagedmind0531
Iboga, for when you wanna hit the wave back!
lol
forrestjones2010
helz yes
cagedmind0531
So...
What if
Iboga decides to tunnel under the tree instead of assaulting it directly
Then Kalyx decides to call on Gaia and when she does Gaia collapses the pit into the warrens and it traps Iboga...or something
forrestjones2010
then they all realize together that Gaia IS sentient or respondent
cagedmind0531
Not sure the repurcussions of that.
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
So anywho
forrestjones2010
right
cagedmind0531
So about the lodge idea
We never really talked about it
forrestjones2010
its got potential but i thought you were against that type of ending a while back
i presnted something similar and you gave it a no go
cagedmind0531
No the reason I brought it up is because it incorporates alot of your ideas from before
It's very similar to what you suggested with some grounding changes
forrestjones2010
it seemed familiar
i think it has good direction and can work
cagedmind0531
Ok so chapter 11
is almost here
What are we doing for 11
forrestjones2010
ah a new chapter
we probably need to go back and look at an older outline
just as a gauge
in earnst i believe i need to reread from beginning to present
cagedmind0531
yeah I was afraid you'd say that
forrestjones2010
is that bad?
have you done the reread yet?
cagedmind0531
I just like to keep pushing forward but I see your point.
No I haven't yet.
forrestjones2010
it was just a thought
not necessary if you dont want to
cagedmind0531
I'm going to need to print it out. It's too annoying to try to read it on the computer.
So we can for sure get this going again now I think. Finally
forrestjones2010
indeed
i really just had to get that crossover thing straight in my head and get caught up on Billy
i am clear now
just need to reacclimate and start rolling
cagedmind0531
That'
That's good news
forrestjones2010
yeah i am totally clear
meds are on point
relationship is good
work is good
and corporation is going pretty good
i am on full go...sorry if i layed out to long
cagedmind0531
It's ok
So because of Iboga they learn about warrens that exist beneath the tree
forrestjones2010
i apologize if that frustrated you
cagedmind0531
no worries
forrestjones2010
so 11...i want to look back at the blog for an outline
has Graven been a leader in ch 10?
i keep thinking quest
cagedmind0531
No not really. I don't think so. He's trying to reassert himself a bit at the end of 10
forrestjones2010
and i want siren to show a lighter side i need to go back and finish some things too
i want the artifact to show up
claim its position
the scalping
just processing
cagedmind0531
k
So we really need to figure out how much more space we have to cover before we can start writing the ending.
forrestjones2010
yes...what are the high points...what has not been done
or said
about the universe
that must be said
cagedmind0531
First off we need to figure out where Asimov starts and initially learns about the artifact and how to create it.
Is he programmed with the info or...
forrestjones2010
i feel as if Iboga ends the creation
and we go into a "present" time
and then a future setting
ah
cagedmind0531
The present will become the future later, that is only temperary
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
That sounded kind of paradoxical
lol
forrestjones2010
lol
cagedmind0531
We should have that on the front of the book
The past will become the future later
lol
forrestjones2010
he he
cagedmind0531
So what's the plan Stan
forrestjones2010
thinking
scene and time shift after iboga's second death
what are the Large arcs?
cagedmind0531
hmmm good question
forrestjones2010
how many do we have left?
cagedmind0531
Um
I'm thinking
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
we need origins for almost all the characters
Asimov, Graven, Siren
forrestjones2010
true
thats a substantial amount of work in itself
cagedmind0531
Graven may not really need an origin because he wasn't really anything special till the eye came
forrestjones2010
i dreamed of the spike last night
i held it in my hand
and a version of the Artifact a mini version
cagedmind0531
Not really sure what arcs are left honestly. Maybe I need to reread some stuff myself
forrestjones2010
we nailed it one day in an outline format i am looking for that
cagedmind0531
Kalyx needs to be developed. We need to get to the end of Gaia's time which explains the beginning of the AI's time
forrestjones2010
agreed...this is paramount
cagedmind0531
So what even signifies the end of Gaias time
The real cultural death of Gaia
That causes people to forget her
*event
That even will end the second set of chapters and lead us into the third I think
event*
forrestjones2010
it can be ended by a non event
such as apathy
people just moved on
quit worshipping
cagedmind0531
moved on past god?
forrestjones2010
quit caring
yes
cagedmind0531
hmmm
forrestjones2010
just a thought
people sometimes get tired of him/her not showing up and just move on
like f this gaia stuff...skank never did anything for me
cagedmind0531
They could realize that the reality is that Gaia has no control of their lives, her only place is for their spirits
forrestjones2010
that works
cagedmind0531
where as technology has instant gratification
forrestjones2010
enter a new machine
cagedmind0531
That could do it.
forrestjones2010
lets do it...sonds solid
sounds
cagedmind0531
Is chapter 11 the place to end the era? that leaves the rest of the book to deal with the end already
forrestjones2010
i believe so...the first era feels done to me
cagedmind0531
Yeah, we can add stuff here and there but it seems to me the real 'happenings' are gonna be in the future
forrestjones2010
thats the feel i get...
the 2nd drft of the first part will be allot of stylizing...
but the events are nailed solid
cagedmind0531
This has been productive so far
http://the-ind.blogspot.com/2010/02/ind-overall-story-arc-february-112010.html
Is that what you were looking for?
I'm gonna get off the computer a bit. I'll be back on later. This was productive. Got alot sorted out. I need to think on it.
forrestjones2010
sorry
my brother just found out his wife is seeing someone else
had to take his call he is in allot of pain
i will brb...give me 15 or so
cagedmind0531
oh my god
forrestjones2010
no shit
this world is fo fucked up
brb
cagedmind0531
please take your time. I'll be back in a bit
forrestjones2010
k
ty
back
cagedmind0531
Is he ok?
forrestjones2010
he is in shock
cagedmind0531
How did he find out?
forrestjones2010
facebook...how 14 is that?
cagedmind0531
wow
seriously?
forrestjones2010
yep
i wish i could say i cant believe it
but nothing is shocking anymore
cagedmind0531
Is he getting a divorce?
Did he confront her?
forrestjones2010
yes and yes
cagedmind0531
wow
forrestjones2010
they hve both filed i think
cagedmind0531
geez
Was there any signs?
forrestjones2010
wrong one
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
anyway...refocus
i have a new Siren pic
posting
posted
brb
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
i am going to rest
night if i dont see you later
ON
i thought about the ending...Love it
just a little distracted last night
rock
cagedmind0531
really?
that's cool
I figure it blends both our ideas together
forrestjones2010
it totally works
i likes
The forest was thick dark and green with the aromas and musks of all kinds
filling the airs at every turn until Amisov walked into a clearing.
Axis spoke to her softly, "Let us not disturb them just yet and see who is the wiser."
Asimov was usually a willing participant to his silly games an compiled with
relative ease.
They peered into a 15 foot circular clearing where the four great masks had
been discovered by Graven and the nobles long ago. They where immaculate in
their construction and rivaled the very artistry of the Gaisphere(insert more
description of the masks in the clearing here). Two large figures sat stoic in great concentration dressed in full deep forest cool teperature regalia; heavy coats, sweaters large draping(wizard) head ware so as one could not ea
could not easily make out their faces.
Their body movement suggested that of old friends...
cagedmind0531
Yeah I've read it before I believe
forrestjones2010
i need to post this to site i think...its a possible ending i wrote a few weeks ago
ok
good
i reposted just in case
did you see the new siren sketch
in red?
cagedmind0531
Yeah I did
Loooks pretty strange
forrestjones2010
par for the course i suppose
be out for a bit...fj
back
morning
there?
cagedmind0531
I'm here now
forrestjones2010
me too!
and i am not that busy
cagedmind0531
How goes things? Talk to your brother?
forrestjones2010
yeah...he has good days and bad days
thanks for asking
cagedmind0531
Of course. I met him once or twice didn't I?
forrestjones2010
yeah...hurricane i think
cagedmind0531
Ah ok, not my finest hour
So anyway how goes work?
forrestjones2010
awesome
last day of tax season
i can breathe again
cagedmind0531
haha that's good
forrestjones2010
i am soaking the wood that will be the gaiasphere
today i carve
and sculpt
cagedmind0531
That sounds fun
forrestjones2010
what re you up to?
cagedmind0531
Nothing really. Just woke up.
forrestjones2010
sweet
cagedmind0531
So Beth will be over around 11 tonight. Other then that I am free to work whenever, so just give me a heads up
forrestjones2010
i can work from now until whenever
cagedmind0531
Ok so we need to hammer out chapter 11
forrestjones2010
lets roll
cagedmind0531
So let's say that they just defeated Iboga and trapped him in wax. That and Asimov just opened the vault. That's where we are more/less.
There?
forrestjones2010
brb
sorry
call came in
cagedmind0531
It's fine
Let me know whenever you're ready no rush. I'll be playing a game
forrestjones2010
k
back
cagedmind0531
k\
give me a sec, need a sandwich
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
so anyway
now what
forrestjones2010
ch 11
this is what i was thinking
corals death
is the end of the age
which gives birth in the form of the artifact to the new age
cagedmind0531
The age just started
ages last like 1000 years
forrestjones2010
?
cagedmind0531
We had the runic era, now it's the gaia era which lasts a long time till people fall from it and into the tech era
forrestjones2010
ok
semantics
age was the wrong word
so the era is over and tech starts with the artifact
cagedmind0531
I was thinking the tech era starts as people wane from Gaia and Syrka invents the AI sometime late in the era
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
The trick is how to show that several hundred years have passed before the era ends
forrestjones2010
indeed
that is a feat
cagedmind0531
ok so we need to figure out what happens after Iboga is delt with and after Asimov opens the vault
forrestjones2010
refresh me on asimov and the vault
cagedmind0531
Asimov brings Syrka in to interrogate him on how to open the vault. Syrka reveals he is Asimov's creator. Syrka also let's on that he is to open the vault of his own free will because he knows it's necessary for the last stage of the IND[the book] to be completed.
forrestjones2010
k ty
cagedmind0531
Then Syrka kills himself before Asimov can interrogate/torture him
I imagine that Syrka was just finishing the second part of the book just as he got captured. That would make sense
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
Ya with me or are things hazy?
forrestjones2010
with ya
cagedmind0531
So now it is revealed what the vault contains and what Coral's deathprint actually was.
And from there I don't know
forrestjones2010
deathprint=atifact blueprint
cagedmind0531
yeah
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
So we should probably flash back at this point to when Asimov first started seeking his immortality
I imagine it was created, then it began to observe itself and man and realized that at the rate man was going it would destroy itself leaving all the computers to rot, thus ending the AI's 'life'.
So it begins to research. It finds the history of the Gaiasphere and the book changes it's proverbial life.
forrestjones2010
processing
the book meaning The Ind changes its life?
cagedmind0531
No, just some random book about the history of the Gaiasphere. How it was the advent of souls etc
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
so half the chapter is a flash back to when Syrka created the AI etc, what's the other half
or is it a 1/3 of the chapter and the other 2/3's can be about siren and or Graven/Kalyx
forrestjones2010
1/3 syrka
2/3 graven/kaylx against something
to unite them against something
perhaps against siren
cagedmind0531
So one route we can go is that iboga damages the Gaia tree and it needs to repaired or something
forrestjones2010
we could have a group repairing
while graven/kaylyx unite quest against siren
what if siren takes part of iboga
as he is destroyed
she is a weapons collector
not a major part of him
cagedmind0531
We haven't really established her as a weapons collector. Are you going to do that or...?
forrestjones2010
just something that she thinks she can use
eventually she will need to be established as such
it fits in with her merc status
quasi merc status
cagedmind0531
Well she can be if that's what you want but storywise there isn't a need for it. Just saying
We could have her stealing a part of Iboga for Asimov
forrestjones2010
it is part of her core modus in the chrome
gatherer of talent and weapons
and yes for AI is fine
she collects for various reasons
not always to hoard
cagedmind0531
We'll need to go back and do some rewriting in order to make her want weapons. Cause if we go that direction I don't want it to be half way
forrestjones2010
thats fine
i can handle that
its just a nuance
doenst effect core story
just a curtain in a room
brb bathroom
cagedmind0531
What if Kalyx eventually appeals to Gaia's defenses and it backfires or something. Causes the tree to become tainted or something.
forrestjones2010
thinking
cagedmind0531
One problem we have with the book is that the earth doesn't seem big and populated
It feels small and secluded
forrestjones2010
it does...
cagedmind0531
That needs to be fixed
We need to add a wide world...somehow
forrestjones2010
future?
cagedmind0531
We could but I feel some of it has to come from the past
forrestjones2010
k
hit it from both angles or times
cagedmind0531
Yes
Do we need to create another sister or something?
sister city
I mean
forrestjones2010
perhaps
and reference lots of extended characters
large families
cagedmind0531
What if we create a character from somewhere else
forrestjones2010
that could work too
cagedmind0531
Like a pilgrim who comes to visit the Gaia tree
From far away
forrestjones2010
i like that
cagedmind0531
names?
forrestjones2010
Rutherford Cane
cagedmind0531
No to Cane. I feel it's overused
forrestjones2010
Arcane
cagedmind0531
hmmm
forrestjones2010
Black Zen
lol
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
Rocky Balboa
cagedmind0531
You know he wrote rocky in like 2 days
forrestjones2010
i know
cagedmind0531
rediculous
forrestjones2010
yo adriane
punc punch
grunt grunt
he cant write no dang gaisphere
cagedmind0531
ebaneizar
forrestjones2010
yes
dig
cagedmind0531
scrooge!
forrestjones2010
less the scrooge
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
Eben Azar
cagedmind0531
That works, sounds exotic
forrestjones2010
lol
do any of our characters have last names
Graven Hodges?
Sirend Davis
cagedmind0531
No they don't. That's easy to add later though
forrestjones2010
i just thought about that the other day
Sorenson
Son of Soren
cagedmind0531
Eben Azar Trenchgoat
forrestjones2010
i like Trenchgoats
cagedmind0531
I thought you might
forrestjones2010
he he
cagedmind0531
Sounds very sophisticated
This world being too small thing is a serious problem
It's going to take alot of work to correct it
What if
Graven holds a summit or something
Of all the elders from all the tribes
forrestjones2010
it can be nuanced in an rewrite 2
cagedmind0531
What do you think about the summit?
forrestjones2010
summit works
cagedmind0531
To discuss a problem? or...
forrestjones2010
iboga
gaiasphere
direction of the world/cities
trade
cagedmind0531
WHAT IF!
forrestjones2010
crime
cagedmind0531
Gaia had a seed, the first one ever. They are deciding whom should get it. We could even make a war over it if we felt like it
forrestjones2010
i like war
cagedmind0531
So this works? A summit over what to do with the seed?
forrestjones2010
yes
so what does the seed do
cagedmind0531
We really need to discuss other factions possibly and other interests.
forrestjones2010
what does it grow into
cagedmind0531
Another tree, another spirit vessel
forrestjones2010
rock
siren can introduce some more of her kind
peyton
cagedmind0531
You realize with this added on it's gonna be another 10-20 pages of rewrites and additions
forrestjones2010
yes
i am not in a hurry are you?
cagedmind0531
Nope.
forrestjones2010
i was at first
not anymore
i want this to be amazing
cagedmind0531
It's just intimidating to go back and try to insert stuff like this
forrestjones2010
tell you what
since you like to go forward
go forward
create a document of what has to be added
and i can focus on that
i dont mind rewrite or addition
we will probably disagree less this way
and it will help to ground my end
cagedmind0531
Mainly we just need some outside world introduced somehow
Other clans. They don't have to be that different
forrestjones2010
i think i get what you mean and need
cagedmind0531
But maybe representatives from those clans show up to discuss the changes happening once the Gaia tree is born.
forrestjones2010
nothing bizare just fill up the joint with life
cagedmind0531
and yes
forrestjones2010
right i am on board
cagedmind0531
It can be as simple as referencing another city
sometimes
forrestjones2010
what if i start the first rewrite/edit and begin to add life
right
cagedmind0531
that sounds good
forrestjones2010
thats what i will do
cagedmind0531
Do you need me to mail youu the master document?
forrestjones2010
i will help you get unstuck if it happens and begin to edit/fill /rewrite
yeah go ahead
cagedmind0531
sent
forrestjones2010
sweet
as always i will add names as place holders for cities and people
they can be changed whenever
cagedmind0531
When we're done this will put us over 200 pages easily.
forrestjones2010
wowsers
have we discussed planets and the sun
cagedmind0531
Not really
forrestjones2010
or sciences
k
sun worshippers
religions outside of gaia worship
we need to have a group who thinks gaia is not the way to go
dissenters
cagedmind0531
True. That's something big we need to pan out
forrestjones2010
just for variety and clash
cagedmind0531
Rune worship maybe
forrestjones2010
rune worship
sun worship
iboga worship
The Necantors worship ibogas darkness
or something
they try to become demons and cut themselves
and dance and chant and slay
cagedmind0531
Maybe Iboga was worship was common and now that he's a spirit it's been elevated
forrestjones2010
i like
saint iboganovana
jj
cagedmind0531
It doesn't sound that bad lol
gonna lay down a bit, lot to think about now
I'll be on later
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
this is falling into place now
If we can pull off all the stuff we discussed
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Siren and Gravens Last Dance 4.1.2010
The forest was thick dark and green with the aromas and musks of all kinds
filling the airs at every turn until Amisov walked into a clearing.
Axis spoke to her softly, "Let us not disturb them just yet and see who is the wiser."
Asimov was usually a willing participant to his silly games an compiled with
relative ease.
They peered into a 15 foot circular clearing where the four great masks had
been discovered by Graven and the nobles long ago. They where immaculate in
their construction and rivaled the very artistry of the Gaisphere(insert more
description of the masks in the clearing here). Two large figures sat stoic in great concentration dressed in full deep forest cool teperature regalia; heavy coats, sweaters large draping(wizard) head ware so as one could not easily make out their faces.
Their body movement suggested that of old friends...
filling the airs at every turn until Amisov walked into a clearing.
Axis spoke to her softly, "Let us not disturb them just yet and see who is the wiser."
Asimov was usually a willing participant to his silly games an compiled with
relative ease.
They peered into a 15 foot circular clearing where the four great masks had
been discovered by Graven and the nobles long ago. They where immaculate in
their construction and rivaled the very artistry of the Gaisphere(insert more
description of the masks in the clearing here). Two large figures sat stoic in great concentration dressed in full deep forest cool teperature regalia; heavy coats, sweaters large draping(wizard) head ware so as one could not easily make out their faces.
Their body movement suggested that of old friends...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)