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forrestjones2010
on
cagedmind0531
posting what I've written for today
posted.
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
I annotated all the areas that need writing. It's the stuff you wanted to write.
forrestjones2010
k
can we connect chapter 3 to the last post for now for continuity sake...it is a bit confusing to be as it is right now
cagedmind0531
want me to post the entire thing you mean?
forrestjones2010
i can do it
do you mind
cagedmind0531
yeah let me post it one sec. I was just trying to consolidate it so you saw only the new stuff, my bad
forrestjones2010
no prob
cagedmind0531
Posted
forrestjones2010
k thanks
cagedmind0531
You finish reading it yet?
forrestjones2010
what am i reading?
i read the email you sent earlier today
cagedmind0531
I think I added some to that but I'm not sure.
I think that was most of it. The last stuff on the page is new I think
forrestjones2010
ok i am confused
did you rename chapter 3
is it the gaisohere
cagedmind0531
Yeah I did.
forrestjones2010
or the exiled?
cagedmind0531
The Exiled is chapter 3
forrestjones2010
hmmm
cagedmind0531
Chapter 4 is the Gaisphere
Chapter 5 is Iboga's reckoning
forrestjones2010
k
and what did you just piece together the whole thing?
cagedmind0531
Yeah I sorted out what goes where with notes
forrestjones2010
?
cagedmind0531
I placed in notes where stuff needs to be written
forrestjones2010
so we are not using the "Master Copy" anymore?
cagedmind0531
Master copy? what do you mean?
sorry I'm lost
forrestjones2010
one day i created a master compy with in the blog which we were supposed to continue to build onto...there is a search engine we can use to find it
if there is an easier way than i am all for it
cagedmind0531
Are you talking about posting the most recent revision on the Main Site?
forrestjones2010
i am just not on the same page with you
no a working copy so we dont loose any material by accident
it looks like you have a good handle on it though with out using a mster though
cagedmind0531
I mailed it to myself today. I posted it on the rough draft site.
forrestjones2010
master
cagedmind0531
Where is this master copy? I'll start using it
forrestjones2010
yeah whatever works
cagedmind0531
Sorry if I am seeming sketchy. Just got kind of lost by what you meant
forrestjones2010
its all good i am looking for it now...
http://the-ind.blogspot.com/2010/01/master-copy.html
thought i was crazy there for a moment
here it is
cagedmind0531
lol Want me to post the entire revision there?
forrestjones2010
honestly if your way works better for you it doesnt really matter to me as long as we dont loose anything
cagedmind0531
ok cool
forrestjones2010
just let me know what you decide
cagedmind0531
I'll post on the MC. It only takes a second
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
Done
forrestjones2010
dig
cagedmind0531
So scroll to the bottom. Did you read all I have? I think I added quite a bit after that email
forrestjones2010
looking now
sucking in the surrounded rubble=sorrounding
cagedmind0531
k
Did you notice all the places I added annotating what needs to be written?
forrestjones2010
yes
I would not know had it not been one I have seen before."
this is a little awkward
cagedmind0531
k, fixing it
I would not know had I not seen it before."
forrestjones2010
good
It is time to revisit my exiler.
the...one who exiles
cagedmind0531
Yeah I thought that was an odd word
forrestjones2010
Graven leaves the Gaiasphere clearing and embarks upon a journey to his home to settle things with Iboga.
lets find an alternative for journey
cagedmind0531
agreed
trek?
forrestjones2010
we both use it allot
trek is good but we have used it too
cagedmind0531
odyssey
forrestjones2010
to epic
quest
cagedmind0531
hike? trip? expedition?
forrestjones2010
sabatical
hike
hike
yes hike
you know on second though just put whatever lets not labor over small detail just yet...this is what slowed us down last time as i recall
thought
i love it
Siren gets her bomb
that war mongering wench
cagedmind0531
lol
Why does she choose to kill Iboga. We need an explanation of why him instead of Graven
forrestjones2010
because he is a threat to Akasha
her God
cagedmind0531
wait, another god?
let's do something more tangible
forrestjones2010
ok
fair enough
cagedmind0531
It's ok for there to be another god but let's wait till the technological era. Even then I want there to be a tech based religion like...what's that one that is out there today?
forrestjones2010
scientology
tom cruise
oprah wenfrey
what about a chemical bridge he has discovered between his world of plants to her world of technology
cagedmind0531
OH! what if he possesses a book about his knowledge
a journal
forrestjones2010
yes...he is what is called an ayahuasquero
cagedmind0531
a who?
forrestjones2010
huasquero for short
cagedmind0531
a what?
forrestjones2010
ayhuasca is an herba brew used by shamans to see into the spirit world
and they sometimes claim to see technological futures
and live lives of stars and planets
cagedmind0531
interesting. might be hard to work that in
forrestjones2010
not really
cagedmind0531
I like the idea
forrestjones2010
i know all the chemistry for it
cagedmind0531
But we don't have a spirit world in the book yet
We haven't established anything happening after death till gaia is born
the tree that is, not the person
forrestjones2010
nn dimythyltryptamime is the active ingredient
yeah we need to keep it grounded
moving on
cagedmind0531
I like the idea of there being a spirit based villain in the era of gaia...
forrestjones2010
i like the journal idea
cagedmind0531
That's a really GREAT idea
forrestjones2010
what is
cagedmind0531
A villain that attacks through the spirit world. We could incorporate that ingredient thingy for that.
forrestjones2010
we will get into that later with the anthigenetics
anthiogenetics
cagedmind0531
We need to give Siren a check list of things she is trying to get
Since graven has the eye she can try to get that any time. She knows Graven is still alive in her time.
forrestjones2010
good idea
molecular explosives
galactarean explosives
black hole creators
good old fashioned colt 45
cagedmind0531
forrestjones2010
fingernail sized fusion reactor
cagedmind0531
focus forrest
*ropes forrest in*
forrestjones2010
but but but you said weapons
cagedmind0531
lol
So do you need any help on what you plan to write? Any parts you are stuck on or questions?
forrestjones2010
nope
im good just need to write
cagedmind0531
k if you are ready I can leave you to it for a bit. Or we can hash out ideas. Either way.
forrestjones2010
k...i will be writing
cagedmind0531
I'll be here
forrestjones2010
k
does Adahn know about axis?
cagedmind0531
No
forrestjones2010
hmmm so how does Graven communicate with axis in their presence?
cagedmind0531
Telepathically. Did I do that by mistake?
forrestjones2010
do what?
cagedmind0531
I guess he can talk to Axis in thought when he wants to
forrestjones2010
ok thats all i need to know...that may need to be addressed in a proof read no big deal right now
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
you told me the ages of the exiles
cagedmind0531
?
forrestjones2010
syrka=
30
cagedmind0531
Let me find it
Want me to change it? or tell you?
forrestjones2010
what are you working on?
no change'
i just need to incorporate it somewhere
cagedmind0531
I'm not working on anything right now. I just munched down on some animal crackers
forrestjones2010
i sweet
cagedmind0531
The 2 adolescents are 30 the youngest is 20
any of that can be changed
forrestjones2010
k
gaia is 30
cagedmind0531
alrighty
forrestjones2010
is that right
who are you calling adolescent
cagedmind0531
Both the siblings but I can change that.
forrestjones2010
and the siblings are?
cagedmind0531
Honestly it was all put down roughly as far as ages etc
forrestjones2010
ok
thanks
cagedmind0531
This is the part that confuses me. Not sure who I assigned as what
forrestjones2010
its not that important right now
immaterial really
thats the kinda stuff you can decide on later
cagedmind0531
search for this sentence with office "I have been here beyond time I can recall.
forrestjones2010
i just didnt want to goof something if it was already decided
and you remembered
cagedmind0531
That and the pargraph 3 down
Those 2 paragraphs really need to be ironed out. I am making a note of it now
forrestjones2010
"From here we are near seven days journey as flows the force of the river. There is a straighter path but we may run the risk of getting lost. I am not willing to take that chance just to save time, besides in this time perhaps you can teach me of yourself and your strange family."
At this point Axis had become silent and still to the point Graven had taken an uncomfortable notice. He tapped on his eye as if to awaken him from a nap.
Axis spoke, "I am here. Did you think you would rid yourself of me that easily? No my friend I am alive and well. I simply rest when I am able and feel safe in my surroundings. I feel as if I am among old friends. Like I have known these people for eons yet they are only just born yesterday. However I will tell you that that devil woman Siren lurks in the air somewhere not far from here. She stalks you over great distance. She is a cheetah and you are a gazelle. You are her natural prey and one out of nineteen times she will catch you and she will kill you and take you as her prize back to her lair so be warned and be on guard even when I feel safe.
"How many exiles do you suppose there are Axis?", asked Graven soberly.
"That is a question better suited for your translator.",
cagedmind0531
So far so good
forrestjones2010
"Are you certain they can all be trusted?", asked Graven in earnest.
"They can be trusted with your very life...and Graven"
"...yes Axis..."
"....yes Gaia can also be trusted with your heart. There will in truth come a time when her heart will become larger than her destiny.", spoke Axis softly as his voice trailed off as i he were walking away into the distance
Graven again began to engage Adahn in conversation about the group and how the came to be with one another.
"Adahn tell me of the exiles. They are mere children. What society fears its children so that it curses them to the wilds to assimilate or die the green death? What human sacrifice is this? what purpose does it serve to sacrifice purpose itself. Is Iboga alone the sole banisher?", Graven felt anger rising inside
as if
cagedmind0531
with you so far
forrestjones2010
rising inside his core.
cagedmind0531
Keep in mind inserting the magma beast encounter somewhere
forrestjones2010
gotcha...i am working back stoy right now will get that in a little while
"Iboga alone does banish now but it has not always been so. Only the seers are banished, exiled. All save Iboga who some say is a seer himself. The one seer who can not be banished. The sanctioned seer of the state.
cagedmind0531
I also was thinking a 'what if'' attaining true purpose [ether turning blue instead of red] gives graven a soul
forrestjones2010
nice onion
what is ibogas book called
cagedmind0531
hmmm
'Of Sight and Chaos'
In it he lists the names of all those exiled
forrestjones2010
past present and future?
cagedmind0531
Just past and present unless you had something in mind
forrestjones2010
this would make siren want to kill him for sure
kill his ass and steal his book
cagedmind0531
Yeah I am going to have her killing him once Graven shows him mercy.
forrestjones2010
wack punk ass take that from y mama
yo mama is gonna woop that assa
woop woop
cagedmind0531
How does she kill him? Is she a knife or a gun person?
forrestjones2010
gunns
and moleculac explosives
or whore assassin
whatever works
cagedmind0531
lol what is with you and sex addled assassins
forrestjones2010
its my ocd
moving on
that actually helps me with the chrome too
thanks
cagedmind0531
What does?
forrestjones2010
btw she is more refined in the chrome
the book of exile names
cagedmind0531
cool beans
forrestjones2010
and the list of weapons she is looking for
ok i am going back to writing honkey
cagedmind0531
alright white bread
forrestjones2010
question how much could adahn know about iboga
cagedmind0531
He was older when exiled so he would know everything the village knows. What the elders know about Iboga.
forrestjones2010
could we have him find out more after he is exiled by spying in the woods or by accident or some other means
cagedmind0531
hmm he could have learned something from the other kids maybe
forrestjones2010
i want i boga to be more sinister inside and outside the village
cagedmind0531
Yeah he needs more depth that's for sure
forrestjones2010
for instance
Half the village could fit the current definition of what Iboga terms as a seer because he has an alternate agenda for some of us.
after being banished we are trained
but not formally under his direct power
but we organize
and we are attacked
we attack others
beasts attack us
we attack back
he creats things for us
illusions
real things
he makes us go mad
we retreat
at the end of it all the strong ones go with him
something like that
cagedmind0531
hmmm
thinking
forrestjones2010
like he uses the jungle to test the exiles for some demented game or war he is involced in
cagedmind0531
Yeah trying to reconcile what you are talking about with what we would have to add
forrestjones2010
we delay graven finding out until later, a few more chapters and let things evolve...allow iboga to become increasingly sinister
and then by this time he is ok with siren killing him
it doesnt have to go this way...just a thought
cagedmind0531
I like the idea of making him more sinister and a more critical character.
forrestjones2010
just mull it over...you dont have to decide now
cagedmind0531
I like the idea but how would we impliment it is the question. We'd have to examine chapter 1
forrestjones2010
you are right we may not want to do this
its fine if we dont
cagedmind0531
He could be trying to kill Taeran...Maybe he sent the etherbeast somehow
forrestjones2010
seriously
cagedmind0531
I honestly can't turn back now that you have had the idea. It's good, really good. Just how do we get it in.
forrestjones2010
i dont think you have to rectify anything bacwards...why cant it just carry forward
adahn brings it to light
and bazinga
now we know
depth
cagedmind0531
lol
bazinga
Let's establish which plot occurs
As far as him training people that may be a bit much. Unless we turn the village into a city. Which is easily done.
forrestjones2010
who trains people
iboga
cagedmind0531
I mean sending people out so that the strongest return. If that's true why would he send bombs?
forrestjones2010
thinking
cagedmind0531
wait an idea
Instead what if one of them is his own child
That's pretty sinister
forrestjones2010
one of the exiles?
hmmmm
cagedmind0531
yeah
forrestjones2010
go on
cagedmind0531
What if one of them turns out to side with Iboga or he banishes his own child and punishes the mother
randomness
just ideas
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
what if Adahn turns out to be his student and is sent as a spy
Ok I have one idea
small one
forrestjones2010
i like that
cagedmind0531
What if Axis remembers seeing the signature of Iboga somewhere else. Like the beast the night they were attacked at the camp.
That would mean that Taeran is in danger as well
Because at that point Iboga didn't know about Graven
forrestjones2010
refresh my memory tearan is ...
cagedmind0531
Graven's teacher
The one who pours water on his eye and takes him to Iboga
Chapter 1
lost?
forrestjones2010
no...got it
thanks
cagedmind0531
np
forrestjones2010
just neede refresher
cagedmind0531
When Iboga finally unleashes his power to fight Graven I want crazy shit hitting the fan
Iboga is like 1300 years old
He knows his shit
forrestjones2010
agreed
siren and axis will be thur too
alright i am starting to feel like a contributer
cagedmind0531
You always have been but I am glad you feel that way
forrestjones2010
i got a page or so done
cagedmind0531
Done for the night?
forrestjones2010
i have to get up at 6
cagedmind0531
awe man
get some rest
post what you wrote
forrestjones2010
ok
give me a sec
cagedmind0531
bold face it or something so I can find what you wrote
It's hard to track down
forrestjones2010
i bolded it
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
i may get back on if i can not sleep...i feel like we made good progress today/tonight
night man
cagedmind0531
Yeah we surely did. Night dude.
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