conversation 2.13.2010

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forrestjones2010
k
u there?
cagedmind0531
yes
I'm not a big fan of 'artificial sun machines', what do you think of the singularity?
You could smell it and feel it but due to the intense light of the process your eyeballs had to be gagged by opaque black goggles. The blinding light of the artificial singularity machine which Feinburg had perfected in his perfect anger.
was intense.
forrestjones2010
ok
cagedmind0531
yes/no?
forrestjones2010
yes
cagedmind0531
k
I am starting to get a rough timeline and I wrote a description of the runic main city.
forrestjones2010
so the escheton is at the begining and the end of the universe?
nice
cagedmind0531
I pictured it as a hole that everything is pulled into. So in a way it is the beginning and the end of time
forrestjones2010
so you didnt read that you extrapolated it?
cagedmind0531
I thought I wrote about it in the beginning of the book.
Where the point the masks were dragged to was called that
Did we not use that before?
forrestjones2010
the eschaton is a thing of real science
but i thought it was the object at the end of time
cagedmind0531
I looked up the word and couldn't find anything but book references
forrestjones2010
but i like your version better
cagedmind0531
I'll trust you though let me fix it
forrestjones2010
no
keep it
cagedmind0531
alright
forrestjones2010
i like yours better
its so vauge in science anyway
no one knows
what it realy is anyway
cagedmind0531
Most advanced science is philosophy anyway
forrestjones2010
true
even the big bang is philosophy
conjecture
cagedmind0531
yeah it all deals in objects called tachyons which change just from being observed
go star trek
forrestjones2010
yeah i like star trek better than sciece...go 7 of 9
cagedmind0531
star trek the next generation actually made an effort to make their science based on reality
the others didn't really care
forrestjones2010
maybe thats why i likes thurs betta
you do realize i type some ebonics on purpose right?
cagedmind0531
yes
The city before them churned with activity. This was not the home Graven had left behind but some new entity bound and gagged by the will of some unseen engine. Runic power had manifested itself in the lights and contraptions about the now delineated pathways that once made up the alleys and walkways of his prior home. Machines now inhabited the once quiet commune and the city had grown to well over three thousand inhabitants.

These machines were laced with tubes and piping of artificial ether, somehow controlled and harnessed by the workings of some machination within. Their rampant ragings littered the air with a tumult of mechanical activity and at the center of it all was a tower ten stories tall among buildings no bigger then two.
The tower was made of stone brick and littered with the scriblings and etchings of thousands upon thousands of charicatures of the runic alphabet, a language once lost and abandoned to the superstitious theocracy of Amphyrr. Now it seemed everything had changed and this tower loomed above it all as some demigod bent on control.

Surrounding the town was a three story wall made of the same kind of stone of the tower, all about it were letters of the rune alphabet. The octagonal wall consisted of a tower at each point, a wall between each tower, and a gatehouse at the entrance to the city.
That's the stuff I wrote describing the rune city
forrestjones2010
i just finished the siren reread
cagedmind0531
and?
forrestjones2010
rocak the hell on
rock
cagedmind0531
k good
I kept the spirit of what you wrote I think
I didn't butcher it
forrestjones2010
you killed huxley...but actually i think that a wise move
cagedmind0531
It took me quite a few minutes to find a way to word the LSD thing you put in
lol
forrestjones2010
only a dick directly sites his influences
cagedmind0531
I think it's overt enough to send the message for those who knew that guy
forrestjones2010
a nuanced sitation is very cool only a very very few will even catch that if any at all
right
mission accomplished
in post edit i think it will be shaved even further
thing about me is i have to fall out of love with things
it only takes a moment
thats why i have to constantly work
cagedmind0531
At some point we will need to put this book down for a month and come back to it. Because we won't see the errors if not. We're too close to it.
forrestjones2010
i know
i picked up the first siren scen the other night
scene
yeah
it has some flow issues
but i am not stopping now to fix that
i say lets finish the whole thing
then
get out the duct tape
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
like some gold old SE Texas boys
dont go nowheres with out Duct tape
even to tha John
cagedmind0531
Did you mean siren is going to attack overtly or covertly?
forrestjones2010
where?
cagedmind0531
um
let me find it
She studied for the proper moment for her attack to decide whether an overt or covert option would be most prudent.
Then you said...
She decided at last on covert not for bravado alone, but also for a fresh chance to test her ever growing array of weaponry and skills, which she rarely turned down.
bravado and covert don't go together do they?
forrestjones2010
which ever one means in your face
is that overt?
cagedmind0531
overt
forrestjones2010
then overt
cagedmind0531
k
She should net or trap the others in some goo or something
but graven conjures a shield to stop it or something
forrestjones2010
distraction bomb they are primitive
20 meters off peremeter
cagedmind0531
I give you permission to maim someone but no one should die yet.
forrestjones2010
they would either all run to it of away from it except graven and axis and adahn
k
adahn has som bad karma scars coming
so does srka
syrka
cagedmind0531
At some point we should describe what Etherians where. I was thinking something like a toga...only not a toga
wear*
side thought
forrestjones2010
i thought about a short scene where gaia could die but doesnt because adahn or someone pushes her out of the way...like foreshadowing...is that cheesy?
cagedmind0531
hmm doesn't sound cheesy. Depends on how you write it
forrestjones2010
what do etherians wear?
cagedmind0531
I was picturing like a toga that goes over both shoulders and has a belt
Just a thought
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
There are just alot of flavor and ambience things we are going to need to add
forrestjones2010
i am not worried about that right now...plenty of time to add that later
just meat for now
cagedmind0531
yah
forrestjones2010
meat and taters dang
cagedmind0531
So the only way Siren should fail is if Graven tricks her somehow
switching it with a fake rock seems too obvious
forrestjones2010
yes and yes
i think his injection thingemibob should have something to do with her failing
cagedmind0531
Well it gave him foresight as to this happening but not till it almost too late. They both reach for it and he gets it. Where it goes from there I don't know
forrestjones2010
his technology is not fully understood yet...so with chance there is hop
hope
ok remember adahn senses her first
axis second
graven 3rd
question
cagedmind0531
Well wait. How can graven be third if he has forewarning of her coming?
forrestjones2010
didnt we establish that somewhere or just talk about it
what is the order with you?
cagedmind0531
All I know is she arrives just in time to try to grab it before the end of the ritual. Graven comes out before she grabs it and takes the eye.
I can change the message easily and rewrite some stuff if it makes it better though
Just tell me what you have in mind
forrestjones2010
but we talked about adahn knowing first becaus he was to be marked as a traitor
and this was to be another tell tell sign
is that out
cagedmind0531
No it's not out. I was setting him up to be a traitor to Iboga though, were you wanting him to be one for siren?
forrestjones2010
in my world when you build out a character as a rat bastard thats all he can be
he rats everybody
cagedmind0531
hmm
forrestjones2010
you had him redeemed and back on the team
cagedmind0531
brb I need some tea
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
back
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
ok so anyway
how to do this
If he is a traitor we will need to add more backstory
forrestjones2010
easy i just dont include him in my line up
question
when does he betray iboga
pre or post siren attack?
pre right
cagedmind0531
He didn't really betray him. He was going to then got exiled
forrestjones2010
so is he really a traitor or not?
to our group
cagedmind0531
Well here is the skinny
forrestjones2010
not iboga
cagedmind0531
He was working for Iboga. He found out Iboga was doing something unethical. He tried to stop it. What he did wrong was design the power source for what would become the rune bombs
however
I can EASILY adjust his vision to reflect something more sinister
forrestjones2010
so we need to decide is he or is he not a traitor to this group...but this can be done later...it doesnt have to be done now
for now he is a choir boy
cagedmind0531
Yeah. We can change that depending on what you wanna do
forrestjones2010
lets think balance for a second
cagedmind0531
ok
forrestjones2010
good bad
graven siren
feinburg iboga
4 masks escheton?
gaia?
cagedmind0531
so you want 4 bad guys and 4 good guys?
forrestjones2010
not necessarily
i am not an equall symetry guy
but close to equal weight yes
cagedmind0531
Not it's not about symmetry...it relates back to the mask. It's just like how the bible uses 3
forrestjones2010
like a picture
hmmm
go on
cagedmind0531
well I just mean how the bible uses a trinity as a recurring theme, we can use a quadra
forrestjones2010
gotcha
and thats fine
but for the record the bible does not mention reference the word trinity once
it is a modern creation
cagedmind0531
Really? I watched a show that showed 3 as a recurring theme in the bible
eh it was just tv
forrestjones2010
i am only referring to the word trinity itself
yes three is a huge theme
lets not digress
cagedmind0531
k
ok so tell me what you are thinking as far as the encounter
forrestjones2010
i will not be offended if you would like to try your hand at it writing this one
cagedmind0531
No matter who writes it I prefer we flesh it out, at least the basics
forrestjones2010
you seem a little shall we sy trigger happy...
we did that...have we forgotten
cagedmind0531
Well I can find other stuff to write. I have already started writing about their city
Did you read that btw?
As far as fleshing this part out I don't know. I'd like Adahn to be a traitor too but if it's going to happen we have foreshadow it a bit. Add a few things here and there. Which is cool.
forrestjones2010
no i was doing that re read...i need to shoot back to my house i am at the office...let me get off for a bit...as soon as i get back on i will read it..and give you some feed back
cagedmind0531
Just so ya understand I want the traitor thing as well, I am just thinking in terms of what we will need to do to affect this change.
forrestjones2010
see you in an hour or so...if you want to play with the fight seen knock yourself out...siren might like you
more than me who knows
sweet home alabama
cagedmind0531
I wrote Siren's piece. Hope you don't kill me or hate it or both
forrestjones2010
did you really?
cagedmind0531
yeah
forrestjones2010
sweet
cagedmind0531
Let me post it
forrestjones2010
where is it
k
cagedmind0531
Posted
'Siren's Attack'
forrestjones2010
reading now
cagedmind0531
You can feel free to tweak it.
Or we can scrap it if it sucks
Thur?
forrestjones2010
i am here
i love it
well don
cagedmind0531
Really?
forrestjones2010
done
cagedmind0531
Cool!
forrestjones2010
sure
cagedmind0531
It could probably use some tweaking
forrestjones2010
just some minor grammatical stuff
nothing major
brb
back
cagedmind0531
alrighty
So we could probably add some stuff to flesh out the scene more
But in my opinion that should end the chapter
forrestjones2010
thats a wrap
cagedmind0531
Do you like the way he beats her and their attitudes?
forrestjones2010
yes
i like that graven is a smart ass
cagedmind0531
If I were her I would be really pissed
I mean if I were her next time I would be bringing a frickin flame thrower
rofl
forrestjones2010
and her personality is a little like ghost in the shells major
who i love
do you know her?
major?
cagedmind0531
nope
forrestjones2010
good
i do
i was trying not to delibritely model her
there are so few strong females to go by though
that arent cheesy
cagedmind0531
Yeah it's a sad state of affairs
forrestjones2010
it is most of them are completely sexist
cagedmind0531
Well...as it is we do have her being consistently defeated by a man
forrestjones2010
so undress her every chance you get ok
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
i kinda view it as my character is consistently being defeated by your character...its freudian
see you secretly want me wacked
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
and this is how you act out your twisted fantasy of it
makes for wiked fun
cagedmind0531
Actually Siren later becomes the protagonist and Graven is trying to stop her...so he become a de facto antagonist
forrestjones2010
entertaining anyway...beats tv
what?
whatchu talkin bout willis?
cagedmind0531
Well eventually Siren figures out what has happened to Feinburg and tries to stop the AI, but by that time Graven has caught up to her and is trying to kill her
forrestjones2010
yeah we need a big out line too cuz you loose me with comments like that
cagedmind0531
Yeah I kind of have a mental map established of a plot. I tried to put it all into that summary
forrestjones2010
i thought i saw that in the Arc right?
cagedmind0531
May have
forrestjones2010
so you want to do Ibogas reckoning next?
or...i had this thought...
cagedmind0531
Chapter after next. This chapter we have more character development and bring Iboga back into the picture.
forrestjones2010
?
6
elaborate
cagedmind0531
For chapter 5 we need more character development among the 5, a siren scene with her talking to Feinburg, and we bring Iboga back
forrestjones2010
k
cagedmind0531
clearer?
forrestjones2010
yes
cagedmind0531
So we need to renname Chapter 4
Gaisphere doesn't fit
We need something that means many paths
Since we have Siren, Graven, and future Graven. This is the first big split.
Something Divergence or something
forrestjones2010
chunk it
Jack Frost
cagedmind0531
ok so this chapter we discussed. The chapter after that we kill Gaia...you know honestly I am finding it hard to kill her
Not even kidding
forrestjones2010
i thought you might
jack frost
cagedmind0531
?
forrestjones2010
the name for the chapter
his famous poem the road less travelled
or the path less travveled
cagedmind0531
We need something that means 1 path splitting into many
forrestjones2010
the road not taken
cagedmind0531
That's the opposite of what I want
lol
forrestjones2010
things can sometimes be symbolic
cagedmind0531
What about...something related to a crystal shattering
that relates to the end of the chapter as well as the diverging paths
forrestjones2010
http://www.wsu.edu/~wldciv/world_civ_reader/world_civ_reader_2/frost_road.html
i like shattered crystals
cagedmind0531
So anyway. Chapter 5
Nice poem btw. I've read it.
forrestjones2010
you didnt read it
frost hater
cagedmind0531
Actually I have read it.
Jackass
forrestjones2010

cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
moving on
shattering crystals it is
cagedmind0531
The Shattered Path
?
forrestjones2010
so ch 5
cagedmind0531
yup
chapter 5
lol
ok so anyway
Graven gets axis back.
Axis may bitch about being trapped in a stone
I know I would
forrestjones2010
i did have a couple of questions
cagedmind0531
Ok so this chapter how about
oh ok go ahead
forrestjones2010
when she was shooting why did no one move
cagedmind0531
They were in the astral plane
forrestjones2010
did she not hit anyone?
cagedmind0531
No she 1 shot them all. Their bodies go limp.
Maybe I need to go be more clear
Foregoing stealth she retrieves her rifle and begins to fire into the other four seated. One by one they collapse, each falling limp reacting to the shots, as if entranced.
forrestjones2010
ok
cagedmind0531
Ok so chapter 5
forrestjones2010
ok
cagedmind0531
wait, any other questions?
forrestjones2010
no
cagedmind0531
Ok so this time what if at the start of the chapter someone comes running through the forest being chased by rune bombs
Another girl...
forrestjones2010
before we go there...lets start by talking about what we want to accomplish with the chapter
cagedmind0531
k
forrestjones2010
character developement
iboga dev.
what else
cagedmind0531
um...siren discussing things with Feinburg may or may not be needed
we could wait till the next chapter for that
forrestjones2010
that can really happen anywhere
cagedmind0531
aye
Ok so Gaia becomes pregnant and carries the baby to term. We can use that for character development
forrestjones2010
and as far as character dev. we just spent the bulk of 4 developing
ok
remember I have Love/Hate
place holder
cagedmind0531
Cool that can happen this chapter
forrestjones2010
before your blood pressure goes up
yes
cagedmind0531
We need to establish some flaw of hers this chapter
So she becomes mortal
forrestjones2010
how about scabees and crabs
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
just dont make her to human
cagedmind0531
If we introduce another female she could be jealous type
forrestjones2010
i almost dont want gaia to be flawed
cagedmind0531
Won't it make people care for her more?
forrestjones2010
just dont turn her into a complaining house wife
cagedmind0531
no way
forrestjones2010
ty
cagedmind0531
you have enough of those in your life?
rofl
forrestjones2010
and then
stay single my friend
cagedmind0531
Ok what about...she likes to paint graven while he's sleeping
all pink
forrestjones2010
uh no
cagedmind0531
rofl
j/k
forrestjones2010
that one is all yours btw
cagedmind0531
what is?
forrestjones2010
the flawed girl thing
cagedmind0531
ah
ok then moving on
forrestjones2010
yeah boycott
writers strike
i'll write love but i wont write that
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
tampons and toothepaste
cagedmind0531
rofl
forrestjones2010
uh uh
i live it dude
aint gonna nappen
happen
cagedmind0531
Ok so anywya
anyway
forrestjones2010
reality is to scary man dont make me do it
ill jump
ok
im back
forrest is back
cagedmind0531
So, introducing another girl.
yes/no/thoughts?
forrestjones2010
girls are good i like girls
we need a smart girl
that can already talk
cagedmind0531
Ok good. Maybe someone who is running from the rune bombs but she destroys 2 of the 3
and is escaping, capably
forrestjones2010
yes
cagedmind0531
None of this 'Don't help me I'm too good for you" crap that's been done 1 billion 47 times
forrestjones2010
your right...she is a zombie
smart zombie
take that as a no comment
cagedmind0531
Ok let's define her personality
forrestjones2010
wait
do we really need a new one
or do we have a full plate
whate happened last time
cagedmind0531
I was using her as a vector to find out about Ahmphyrr and whathas happened
forrestjones2010
did we get overwhelmed
i have that covered with Love
cagedmind0531
They visit ahmphyrr?
forrestjones2010
partially anyway
they dont visit
but it is a retelling of some of their myths
remember Ayn
Graven's mother
tales of her and her family
and their grave site and how they visit it once per year
let me find it
cagedmind0531
I read it already
Just refreshing my memory
forrestjones2010
when?
cagedmind0531
I read what you posted anyway
forrestjones2010
i havent posted it
i didnt think i did
maybe i did
cagedmind0531
Oh by the way. Gaia has to be pregnant when she dies. My gf said that would make it really sad.
forrestjones2010
k
with a second child
cagedmind0531
Ok so anyway yeah I remember I told you to tone down her power over nature thing
remember?
forrestjones2010
ok
yes
cagedmind0531
Ok so 9 months have to pass or so and during that time very little happens
Until...
what
forrestjones2010
thinking
cagedmind0531
we also need to write in a lake and add some interaction with it at some point
forrestjones2010
tell you what...as a process
if we ever get stumped that can be clean up and edit time
you think?
cagedmind0531
true
We're not getting stumped though
Think positive
forrestjones2010
just saying as a course of process?
cagedmind0531
sure
forrestjones2010
thats not it...
do you have any idea of how many characters you want to work with?
like a cap
cagedmind0531
What if someone gets chased by runebombs into the forest. Dies from wounds but before she does reports back what has happened in Ahmphyrr
No I don't but I am comfortable with more.
forrestjones2010
you know we have a back log of old characters the linguist the dissident and so on
cagedmind0531
the linguist is Graven
forrestjones2010
and i like the rune bomb dieing scene
cagedmind0531
The dissident is Iboga
forrestjones2010
oh ok
gotcha
duh
go on
cagedmind0531
Gaia is gaia, Siren is the gaia/techno girl, and AI is AI plus the artifact
forrestjones2010
who else am i missing
cagedmind0531
SIren has a soul so she was human before she was android
Like dark vader
lol
forrestjones2010
why did i not know this
cagedmind0531
I didn't realize we had completed the entire diagram till I thought about it
forrestjones2010
we are super cool
cagedmind0531
lol we completed it on total accident
forrestjones2010
and that is even cooler
cagedmind0531
Cause Graven is Gaia/Runic
Iboga is straight Runic
So anyway
thoughts?
forrestjones2010
not at the moment
cagedmind0531
I love this song
Don't Fear the Reaper
forrestjones2010
boc
cagedmind0531
yup
I have rhapsody. I listen to music while I write.
Everything from Korn to Steve Miller Band
forrestjones2010
yeah the center of the moon is made of music
cagedmind0531
?
forrestjones2010
i just make stuff up jason you know me
cagedmind0531
lol
forrestjones2010
i have almost 350 gigs of music on my computer
i had to start chunking stuff
cagedmind0531
geez
forrestjones2010
i am a freak about music i like electronic stuff
but i will listen to anything
saw bob dylan in houston
cagedmind0531
Ok so around 9 months we cut to her having a baby. Throw in a few lines etc. Move the time forward a year or two or three. She's prego again. Woman comes into forest dying. Tells of Ahmphyrr. Graven decides to go leaving her behind with...Adahn maybe
Comes back. Gaia has been killed by...something
forrestjones2010
that sounds like enough structure
to get started
i am going to go hang with tish for a bit...i'll be up for a while longer..
you gonna be on for a while?
cagedmind0531
ok that's cool dude. Yeah I may run and get some food but I'll be back
forrestjones2010
k see you in a while...