Convo 10:13 2/4/2010

cagedmind0531: You still conscious?
forrestjones2010: Oh yeah....watchin tha tube with tha fam
cagedmind0531: awesome oppossum
cagedmind0531: It's 10! work time! *cracks whip* rofl
forrestjones2010: K...be on after show is over...:-D
forrestjones2010: on
cagedmind0531: posting what I've written for today
cagedmind0531: posted.
forrestjones2010: k
cagedmind0531: I annotated all the areas that need writing. It's the stuff you wanted to write.
forrestjones2010: k
forrestjones2010: can we connect chapter 3 to the last post for now for continuity sake...it is a bit confusing to be as it is right now
cagedmind0531: want me to post the entire thing you mean?
forrestjones2010: i can do it
forrestjones2010: do you mind
cagedmind0531: yeah let me post it one sec. I was just trying to consolidate it so you saw only the new stuff, my bad
forrestjones2010: no prob
cagedmind0531: Posted
forrestjones2010: k thanks
cagedmind0531: You finish reading it yet?
forrestjones2010: what am i reading?
forrestjones2010: i read the email you sent earlier today
cagedmind0531: I think I added some to that but I'm not sure.
cagedmind0531: I think that was most of it. The last stuff on the page is new I think
forrestjones2010: ok i am confused
forrestjones2010: did you rename chapter 3
cagedmind0531: Yeah I did.
forrestjones2010: is it the gaisohere
forrestjones2010: or the exiled?
cagedmind0531: The Exiled is chapter 3
forrestjones2010: hmmm
cagedmind0531: Chapter 4 is the Gaisphere
cagedmind0531: Chapter 5 is Iboga's reckoning
forrestjones2010: k
forrestjones2010: and what did you just piece together the whole thing?
cagedmind0531: Yeah I sorted out what goes where with notes
forrestjones2010: ?
cagedmind0531: I placed in notes where stuff needs to be written
forrestjones2010: so we are not using the "Master Copy" anymore?
cagedmind0531: Master copy? what do you mean?
cagedmind0531: sorry I'm lost
forrestjones2010: one day i created a master compy with in the blog which we were supposed to continue to build onto...there is a search engine we can use to find it
forrestjones2010: if there is an easier way than i am all for it
cagedmind0531: Are you talking about posting the most recent revision on the Main Site?
forrestjones2010: i am just not on the same page with you
forrestjones2010: no a working copy so we dont loose any material by accident
forrestjones2010: it looks like you have a good handle on it though with out using a mster though
cagedmind0531: I mailed it to myself today. I posted it on the rough draft site.
forrestjones2010: master
cagedmind0531: Where is this master copy? I'll start using it
forrestjones2010: yeah whatever works
cagedmind0531: Sorry if I am seeming sketchy. Just got kind of lost by what you meant
forrestjones2010: its all good i am looking for it now...
forrestjones2010: http://the-ind.blogspot.com/2010/01/master-copy.html
forrestjones2010: thought i was crazy there for a moment
forrestjones2010: here it is
cagedmind0531: lol Want me to post the entire revision there?
forrestjones2010: honestly if your way works better for you it doesnt really matter to me as long as we dont loose anything
cagedmind0531: ok cool
forrestjones2010: just let me know what you decide
cagedmind0531: I'll post on the MC. It only takes a second
forrestjones2010: k
cagedmind0531: Done
forrestjones2010: dig
cagedmind0531: So scroll to the bottom. Did you read all I have? I think I added quite a bit after that email
forrestjones2010: looking now
forrestjones2010: sucking in the surrounded rubble=sorrounding
cagedmind0531: k
cagedmind0531: Did you notice all the places I added annotating what needs to be written?
forrestjones2010: yes
forrestjones2010: I would not know had it not been one I have seen before."
forrestjones2010: this is a little awkward
cagedmind0531: k, fixing it
cagedmind0531: I would not know had I not seen it before."
forrestjones2010: good
forrestjones2010: It is time to revisit my exiler.
forrestjones2010: the...one who exiles
cagedmind0531: Yeah I thought that was an odd word
forrestjones2010: Graven leaves the Gaiasphere clearing and embarks upon a journey to his home to settle things with Iboga.
forrestjones2010: lets find an alternative for journey
cagedmind0531: agreed
cagedmind0531: trek?
forrestjones2010: we both use it allot
forrestjones2010: trek is good but we have used it too
cagedmind0531: odyssey
forrestjones2010: to epic
forrestjones2010: quest
cagedmind0531: hike? trip? expedition?
forrestjones2010: sabatical
forrestjones2010: hike
forrestjones2010: hike
forrestjones2010: yes hike
forrestjones2010: you know on second though just put whatever lets not labor over small detail just yet...this is what slowed us down last time as i recall
forrestjones2010: thought
forrestjones2010: i love it
forrestjones2010: Siren gets her bomb
forrestjones2010: that war mongering wench
cagedmind0531: lol
cagedmind0531: Why does she choose to kill Iboga. We need an explanation of why him instead of Graven
forrestjones2010: because he is a threat to Akasha
forrestjones2010: her God
cagedmind0531: wait, another god?
cagedmind0531: let's do something more tangible
forrestjones2010: ok
forrestjones2010: fair enough
cagedmind0531: It's ok for there to be another god but let's wait till the technological era. Even then I want there to be a tech based religion like...what's that one that is out there today?
forrestjones2010: scientology
forrestjones2010: tom cruise
forrestjones2010: oprah wenfrey
forrestjones2010: what about a chemical bridge he has discovered between his world of plants to her world of technology
cagedmind0531: OH! what if he possesses a book about his knowledge
cagedmind0531: a journal
forrestjones2010: yes...he is what is called an ayahuasquero
cagedmind0531: a who?
forrestjones2010: huasquero for short
cagedmind0531: a what?
forrestjones2010: ayhuasca is an herba brew used by shamans to see into the spirit world
forrestjones2010: and they sometimes claim to see technological futures
forrestjones2010: and live lives of stars and planets
cagedmind0531: interesting. might be hard to work that in
forrestjones2010: not really
cagedmind0531: I like the idea
forrestjones2010: i know all the chemistry for it
cagedmind0531: But we don't have a spirit world in the book yet
cagedmind0531: We haven't established anything happening after death till gaia is born
cagedmind0531: the tree that is, not the person
forrestjones2010: nn dimythyltryptamime is the active ingredient
forrestjones2010: yeah we need to keep it grounded
forrestjones2010: moving on
cagedmind0531: I like the idea of there being a spirit based villain in the era of gaia...
forrestjones2010: i like the journal idea
cagedmind0531: That's a really GREAT idea
forrestjones2010: what is
cagedmind0531: A villain that attacks through the spirit world. We could incorporate that ingredient thingy for that.
forrestjones2010: we will get into that later with the anthigenetics
forrestjones2010: anthiogenetics
cagedmind0531: We need to give Siren a check list of things she is trying to get
cagedmind0531: Since graven has the eye she can try to get that any time. She knows Graven is still alive in her time.
forrestjones2010: good idea
forrestjones2010: molecular explosives
forrestjones2010: galactarean explosives
forrestjones2010: black hole creators
forrestjones2010: good old fashioned colt 45
cagedmind0531: :P
forrestjones2010: fingernail sized fusion reactor
cagedmind0531: focus forrest
cagedmind0531: *ropes forrest in*
forrestjones2010: but but but you said weapons
cagedmind0531: lol
cagedmind0531: So do you need any help on what you plan to write? Any parts you are stuck on or questions?
forrestjones2010: nope
forrestjones2010: im good just need to write
cagedmind0531: k if you are ready I can leave you to it for a bit. Or we can hash out ideas. Either way.
forrestjones2010: k...i will be writing
cagedmind0531: I'll be here
forrestjones2010: k
forrestjones2010: does Adahn know about axis?
cagedmind0531: No
forrestjones2010: hmmm so how does Graven communicate with axis in their presence?
cagedmind0531: Telepathically. Did I do that by mistake?
forrestjones2010: do what?
cagedmind0531: I guess he can talk to Axis in thought when he wants to
forrestjones2010: ok thats all i need to know...that may need to be addressed in a proof read no big deal right now
cagedmind0531: k
forrestjones2010: you told me the ages of the exiles
cagedmind0531: ?
forrestjones2010: syrka=
forrestjones2010: 30
cagedmind0531: Let me find it
cagedmind0531: Want me to change it? or tell you?
forrestjones2010: what are you working on?
forrestjones2010: no change'
forrestjones2010: i just need to incorporate it somewhere
cagedmind0531: I'm not working on anything right now. I just munched down on some animal crackers
forrestjones2010: i sweet
cagedmind0531: The 2 adolescents are 30 the youngest is 20
cagedmind0531: any of that can be changed
forrestjones2010: k
forrestjones2010: gaia is 30
cagedmind0531: alrighty
forrestjones2010: is that right
forrestjones2010: who are you calling adolescent
cagedmind0531: Both the siblings but I can change that.
forrestjones2010: and the siblings are?
cagedmind0531: Honestly it was all put down roughly as far as ages etc
forrestjones2010: ok
forrestjones2010: thanks
cagedmind0531: This is the part that confuses me. Not sure who I assigned as what
forrestjones2010: its not that important right now
forrestjones2010: immaterial really
forrestjones2010: thats the kinda stuff you can decide on later
cagedmind0531: search for this sentence with office "I have been here beyond time I can recall.
forrestjones2010: i just didnt want to goof something if it was already decided
forrestjones2010: and you remembered
cagedmind0531: That and the pargraph 3 down
cagedmind0531: Those 2 paragraphs really need to be ironed out. I am making a note of it now
forrestjones2010: "From here we are near seven days journey as flows the force of the river. There is a straighter path but we may run the risk of getting lost. I am not willing to take that chance just to save time, besides in this time perhaps you can teach me of yourself and your strange family."

forrestjones2010: At this point Axis had become silent and still to the point Graven had taken an uncomfortable notice. He tapped on his eye as if to awaken him from a nap.

forrestjones2010: Axis spoke, "I am here. Did you think you would rid yourself of me that easily? No my friend I am alive and well. I simply rest when I am able and feel safe in my surroundings. I feel as if I am among old friends. Like I have known these people for eons yet they are only just born yesterday. However I will tell you that that devil woman Siren lurks in the air somewhere not far from here. She stalks you over great distance. She is a cheetah and you are a gazelle. You are her natural prey and one out of nineteen times she will catch you and she will kill you and take you as her prize back to her lair so be warned and be on guard even when I feel safe.

"How many exiles do you suppose there are Axis?", asked Graven soberly.

"That is a question better suited for your translator.",
cagedmind0531: So far so good
forrestjones2010: "Are you certain they can all be trusted?", asked Graven in earnest.

"They can be trusted with your very life...and Graven"

"...yes Axis..."

"....yes Gaia can also be trusted with your heart. There will in truth come a time when her heart will become larger than her destiny.", spoke Axis softly as his voice trailed off as i he were walking away into the distance

Graven again began to engage Adahn in conversation about the group and how the came to be with one another.

"Adahn tell me of the exiles. They are mere children. What society fears its children so that it curses them to the wilds to assimilate or die the green death? What human sacrifice is this? what purpose does it serve to sacrifice purpose itself. Is Iboga alone the sole banisher?", Graven felt anger rising inside
forrestjones2010: as if
cagedmind0531: with you so far
forrestjones2010: rising inside his core.
cagedmind0531: Keep in mind inserting the magma beast encounter somewhere
forrestjones2010: gotcha...i am working back stoy right now will get that in a little while
forrestjones2010: "Iboga alone does banish now but it has not always been so. Only the seers are banished, exiled. All save Iboga who some say is a seer himself. The one seer who can not be banished. The sanctioned seer of the state.
cagedmind0531: I also was thinking a 'what if'' attaining true purpose [ether turning blue instead of red] gives graven a soul
forrestjones2010: nice onion
forrestjones2010: what is ibogas book called
cagedmind0531: hmmm
cagedmind0531: 'Of Sight and Chaos'
cagedmind0531: In it he lists the names of all those exiled
forrestjones2010: past present and future?
cagedmind0531: Just past and present unless you had something in mind
forrestjones2010: this would make siren want to kill him for sure
forrestjones2010: kill his ass and steal his book
cagedmind0531: Yeah I am going to have her killing him once Graven shows him mercy.
forrestjones2010: wack punk ass take that from y mama
forrestjones2010: yo mama is gonna woop that assa
forrestjones2010: woop woop
cagedmind0531: How does she kill him? Is she a knife or a gun person?
forrestjones2010: gunns
forrestjones2010: and moleculac explosives
forrestjones2010: or whore assassin
forrestjones2010: whatever works
cagedmind0531: lol what is with you and sex addled assassins
forrestjones2010: its my ocd
forrestjones2010: moving on
forrestjones2010: that actually helps me with the chrome too
forrestjones2010: thanks
cagedmind0531: What does?
forrestjones2010: btw she is more refined in the chrome
forrestjones2010: the book of exile names
cagedmind0531: cool beans
forrestjones2010: and the list of weapons she is looking for
forrestjones2010: ok i am going back to writing honkey
cagedmind0531: alright white bread
forrestjones2010: question how much could adahn know about iboga
cagedmind0531: He was older when exiled so he would know everything the village knows. What the elders know about Iboga.
forrestjones2010: could we have him find out more after he is exiled by spying in the woods or by accident or some other means
cagedmind0531: hmm he could have learned something from the other kids maybe
forrestjones2010: i want i boga to be more sinister inside and outside the village
cagedmind0531: Yeah he needs more depth that's for sure
forrestjones2010: for instance
forrestjones2010: Half the village could fit the current definition of what Iboga terms as a seer because he has an alternate agenda for some of us.
forrestjones2010: after being banished we are trained
forrestjones2010: but not formally under his direct power
forrestjones2010: but we organize
forrestjones2010: and we are attacked
forrestjones2010: we attack others
forrestjones2010: beasts attack us
forrestjones2010: we attack back
forrestjones2010: he creats things for us
forrestjones2010: illusions
forrestjones2010: real things
forrestjones2010: he makes us go mad
forrestjones2010: we retreat
forrestjones2010: at the end of it all the strong ones go with him
forrestjones2010: something like that
cagedmind0531: hmmm
cagedmind0531: thinking
forrestjones2010: like he uses the jungle to test the exiles for some demented game or war he is involced in
cagedmind0531: Yeah trying to reconcile what you are talking about with what we would have to add
forrestjones2010: we delay graven finding out until later, a few more chapters and let things evolve...allow iboga to become increasingly sinister
forrestjones2010: and then by this time he is ok with siren killing him
forrestjones2010: it doesnt have to go this way...just a thought
cagedmind0531: I like the idea of making him more sinister and a more critical character.
forrestjones2010: just mull it over...you dont have to decide now
cagedmind0531: I like the idea but how would we impliment it is the question. We'd have to examine chapter 1
forrestjones2010: you are right we may not want to do this
forrestjones2010: its fine if we dont
cagedmind0531: He could be trying to kill Taeran...Maybe he sent the etherbeast somehow
forrestjones2010: seriously
cagedmind0531: I honestly can't turn back now that you have had the idea. It's good, really good. Just how do we get it in.
forrestjones2010: i dont think you have to rectify anything bacwards...why cant it just carry forward
forrestjones2010: adahn brings it to light
forrestjones2010: and bazinga
forrestjones2010: now we know
forrestjones2010: depth
cagedmind0531: lol
cagedmind0531: bazinga
cagedmind0531: Let's establish which plot occurs
cagedmind0531: As far as him training people that may be a bit much. Unless we turn the village into a city. Which is easily done.
forrestjones2010: who trains people
forrestjones2010: iboga
cagedmind0531: I mean sending people out so that the strongest return. If that's true why would he send bombs?
forrestjones2010: thinking
cagedmind0531: wait an idea
cagedmind0531: Instead what if one of them is his own child
cagedmind0531: That's pretty sinister
forrestjones2010: one of the exiles?
forrestjones2010: hmmmm
cagedmind0531: yeah
forrestjones2010: go on
cagedmind0531: What if one of them turns out to side with Iboga or he banishes his own child and punishes the mother
cagedmind0531: randomness
cagedmind0531: just ideas
forrestjones2010: k
cagedmind0531: what if Adahn turns out to be his student and is sent as a spy
cagedmind0531: Ok I have one idea
cagedmind0531: small one
forrestjones2010: i like that
cagedmind0531: What if Axis remembers seeing the signature of Iboga somewhere else. Like the beast the night they were attacked at the camp.
cagedmind0531: That would mean that Taeran is in danger as well
cagedmind0531: Because at that point Iboga didn't know about Graven
forrestjones2010: refresh my memory tearan is ...
cagedmind0531: Graven's teacher
cagedmind0531: The one who pours water on his eye and takes him to Iboga
cagedmind0531: Chapter 1
cagedmind0531: lost?
forrestjones2010: no...got it
forrestjones2010: thanks
cagedmind0531: np
forrestjones2010: just neede refresher
cagedmind0531: When Iboga finally unleashes his power to fight Graven I want crazy shit hitting the fan
cagedmind0531: Iboga is like 1300 years old
cagedmind0531: He knows his shit
forrestjones2010: agreed
forrestjones2010: siren and axis will be thur too
forrestjones2010: alright i am starting to feel like a contributer
cagedmind0531: You always have been but I am glad you feel that way :D
forrestjones2010: i got a page or so done
cagedmind0531: Done for the night?
forrestjones2010: i have to get up at 6
cagedmind0531: awe man
cagedmind0531: get some rest
cagedmind0531: post what you wrote
forrestjones2010: ok
forrestjones2010: give me a sec
cagedmind0531: bold face it or something so I can find what you wrote
cagedmind0531: It's hard to track down
forrestjones2010: i bolded it
cagedmind0531: k
forrestjones2010: i may get back on if i can not sleep...i feel like we made good progress today/tonight
forrestjones2010: :)
forrestjones2010: night man
cagedmind0531: Yeah we surely did. Night dude.
cagedmind0531: Good afternoon sir
forrestjones2010: Afternoon kind sir
cagedmind0531: I rewrote the attack on the camp to happen after the visit to Iboga. So now only Taeran is left who knows about the eye.
forrestjones2010: Swing
cagedmind0531: So that's reason for Iboga to want him dead.
cagedmind0531: Also I was thinking since it's been years that Iboga should have captured Taeran and kept him prisoner all these years.
forrestjones2010: Lost me there
cagedmind0531: Taeran ecorts Graven to the border of the wilds. After that I am going to have Iboga capture him.
forrestjones2010: Gotcha
cagedmind0531: You need to stop using devil woman for Siren lol
cagedmind0531: How's work?
forrestjones2010: Its better today...i have found if I take my meds & drink copius amounts of coffee...i stay up & I am happpy;-)
cagedmind0531: rofl whatever works
forrestjones2010: If no I just pass the hell out
forrestjones2010: & I am on the smallest dose
forrestjones2010: 25 mg
cagedmind0531: Your body will get used to it
forrestjones2010: I receive that
cagedmind0531: You able to work tonight?
cagedmind0531: BOO! What's kickin!
forrestjones2010: What are you up to?
cagedmind0531: Not a damn thing. I haven't worked today. We need to grind out the third chapter before I can continue with the 4th
forrestjones2010: Tonight its on...
cagedmind0531: awesome
forrestjones2010: neck bone
cagedmind0531: neckbone?
forrestjones2010: yeah...its on like neck bone
cagedmind0531: When you get a chance you need to reread chapter 1. It's changed quite a bit
forrestjones2010: k
cagedmind0531: Soon as chapter 4 is complete we are seriously on a roll dude
cagedmind0531: Chapter 3 I mean
forrestjones2010: sweet
forrestjones2010: did you post to master?
cagedmind0531: No, but I will right now
cagedmind0531: posted
forrestjones2010: k
forrestjones2010: did you highlight what you changed to save time in the reading?
cagedmind0531: Not really...oops lol
cagedmind0531: I changed alot
forrestjones2010: all through out the chapter?
cagedmind0531: You don't have to read it. I proofread it twice.
cagedmind0531: I just had to move quite a bit around
forrestjones2010: i will
forrestjones2010: just trying to understand
forrestjones2010: did you change plot or grammar
cagedmind0531: plot
cagedmind0531: Basically the attack on the camp happens after the visit to Iboga now
cagedmind0531: Which makes more sense
forrestjones2010: gotcha,,,reading now
cagedmind0531: How goes it?
forrestjones2010: Chapter one is freakin long...
cagedmind0531: lol
cagedmind0531: That's one reason it was hard to fix
forrestjones2010: My mastiff is trying to eat me
forrestjones2010: Ok....i will finish reading it later...if I don't I won't get any writing done
cagedmind0531: No problem
cagedmind0531: Did you get to the attack yet?
cagedmind0531: If so then don't worry about the rest
cagedmind0531: If that dog were trying to eat you I doubt you would be typing lol
forrestjones2010: What I read so far is great though...no...i will scan & read that part...
cagedmind0531: Seriously don't bother. You can read it any time. We don't always get time to work
forrestjones2010: Well I had to switch to the fone from the pc because he was getting to close to it
forrestjones2010: Thanks...i can email the whole thing to myself at wok & print it out for a proof read...i like to proof like that anyway
cagedmind0531: cool
forrestjones2010: so i guess i will pick up where i left off
cagedmind0531: Sounds good. Once you finish that chapter I can resume. No rush though. We're making great time on the novel. So long as we are doing
cagedmind0531: 2 pages a day average we are set
forrestjones2010: did we decide to deepen iboga to sinister organizer or did we abandon that
cagedmind0531: So far he has imprisoned and torchered Taeran. I think that might be enough. What do you think?
forrestjones2010: did you erase some notes in the master copy where i was working yesterday?
forrestjones2010: where i stopped
cagedmind0531: I don't remember erasing notes unless I fixed something that called for erasing them.
forrestjones2010: it said something like RESUME HERE*******
cagedmind0531: oh
cagedmind0531: I didn't copy that part...and when I copied it back it overwrote it I guess
cagedmind0531: I can show you where it was though
forrestjones2010: no i think i just found it
cagedmind0531: "Iboga alone banishes now but it has not always been so. Only the seers are banished, exiled. All save Iboga who some say is a seer himself.
cagedmind0531: After that paragraph
forrestjones2010: k thanks
cagedmind0531: I still have a note there it just says [Fill in journey to tree]
cagedmind0531: If you want to make Iboga the organizer we can work that out. If we do that then Adahn has to be a traitor and axis already said he was
cagedmind0531: trustworthy
forrestjones2010: no it was a thought of yesterday
forrestjones2010:
forrestjones2010: did you reword any of the stuff i was working on yesterday?
cagedmind0531: I think a little bit of it.
forrestjones2010: k
cagedmind0531: Just editing etc.
forrestjones2010: just thought i was going a little crazy there for a minute'
cagedmind0531: Sorry if I confused ya. I'll note my corrections next time
forrestjones2010: no its ok
cagedmind0531: I think I lost my sketchbook...shit
forrestjones2010: thats not good
forrestjones2010: we have a continuity issue we the exiles
cagedmind0531: What is it?
forrestjones2010: if graven is 50 and is just now an exile
forrestjones2010: and these adolescense are 20
forrestjones2010: and 30
forrestjones2010: wouldnt he have known of them
forrestjones2010: or their parents
forrestjones2010: or their births
forrestjones2010: or something about the exiles while still in the village
cagedmind0531: hmm
cagedmind0531: We knew the ages thing was going to mess with us. We can fix it any way we want to.
cagedmind0531: brb in one sec. I need to find my book
forrestjones2010: k
cagedmind0531: back
cagedmind0531: No luck. :(
cagedmind0531: anyway back to the book.
cagedmind0531: He could have known them sure
cagedmind0531: Or at least known their parents
cagedmind0531: FOUND IT! HUZZAH! BAZINGA!
cagedmind0531: Introducing 4 characters at the same time was bound to be problematic
forrestjones2010: nevermind i am over it
forrestjones2010: i will adress it in post its monor
forrestjones2010: minor
cagedmind0531: Yeah be sure you make a note of it because we have to iron out all these ages and relationships before long.
cagedmind0531: I am going to address that now I think since I am idle
cagedmind0531: We need more life in the book. More insects or animals. Stuff that isn't harmful necessarily but for ambience
cagedmind0531: First off he can't be 200. That isn't working.
cagedmind0531: More like 80 and we could simply explain that in etherian culture most families kept to themselves.
forrestjones2010: The two muscular shadows continued to walk with gravity into the thick woods as it grew darker and darker. With the last remnants of the day the misfits set up a makeshift camp near the river bank. Each chose a place that suited their disposition and need for safety. Graven placed himself where he could quickly defend everyone at a moments notice. The group ended the night around the campfire with a bit of smoke from one of the plants Gaia had formed into a dancing man and threw into the fire as she told a story with her body and hands. She entranced us with her eyes and her silent innocent story. She lulled us to sleep with the damned.
forrestjones2010: The moon that night blanched open our dreams. It whirled and sucked the cosmos into a dancing caspian karmalectrum of symphonic joy that upon waking united the group in such a way as no questions of loyalty would every be asked again. Gaia's fire dance was comon magic in an uncommon world of darkness and green shadows, seers, and technochratic nightmares. Innocence found in a place where one would be least likely to find innocence.

cagedmind0531: It's really strong. The poetry might be too strong when compared to the rest of the book but I really think this is your strong suite.
cagedmind0531: Establishing intimacy.
cagedmind0531: Man I used 'strong' alot in that sentence lol
forrestjones2010: characters are usually strong and lucid almost saintlike before they die
forrestjones2010: and gaia is about to die
forrestjones2010: about to become a goddess
forrestjones2010: i thought strength and nostalgia might be in order
cagedmind0531: We need to establish that the ether in her veins is blue-violet, almost blue. Unheard of for Etherians
cagedmind0531: Red = average purpose of a person, Blue = saint
cagedmind0531: Gaia and Graven are both blue-violet. They almost have souls. Which means they become immortal
forrestjones2010: Innocence found in a place where one would be least likely to find innocence. As Gaia danced the dance of fire the ether in her veins glowed a blue-violet almost pure cobalt blue near unheard of in Etherians

cagedmind0531: good, perfect
cagedmind0531: There is so much that we can add to make some of the stuff already in the book better. My mind is churning
forrestjones2010: swing
forrestjones2010: we could finish the chapters we have and not start any new ones until we tweek everything we want to tweek from visuals to whatever
cagedmind0531: That's a good idea.
forrestjones2010: that way we dont get to far ahead of ourselves...get overwhelmed and get frustrated and quit
cagedmind0531: I was thinking for when we publish the book we could do so under 1 penname. Like 1 for both of us.
cagedmind0531: 1 name, 2 people
cagedmind0531: random thought
forrestjones2010: sounds good to me
forrestjones2010: you can pick it make it up
cagedmind0531: I'll give it some thought
forrestjones2010: k
cagedmind0531: Do you want Adahn to be a traitor later in the book?
forrestjones2010: camp on it
forrestjones2010: maybe maybe not
cagedmind0531: I'll leave it up to you. This chapter is your baby not mine.
cagedmind0531: She lulled us to sleep with her trance-inducing mystique.
cagedmind0531: Little more clear
forrestjones2010: fine wit me
forrestjones2010: can axis see the future at all?
forrestjones2010: or can he only see the masks
forrestjones2010: what all can he see
cagedmind0531: He can touch the future but not read it. He may sense something
forrestjones2010: k
cagedmind0531: This is a really good direction. I tweaked a few things but this is truly making me give a shit about gaia
forrestjones2010: ah good
forrestjones2010: and that was ma job
forrestjones2010: After the fire dreams fade a deep restful sleep falls over the camp. The first day of the hike with Graven, Adahn, Gaia, Syrka, and Veyn has been educational and they have covered much ground to get to the stone shelter.
forrestjones2010: The day cuts open the night sky and Syrka is the first to awaken after Graven and Axis. We gather our packs and begin again toward the stone shelter at a measured pace. Adahn instructs the three with new gesture and translates Graven's latest instructions.
cagedmind0531: You have them sleeping, then waking up, then sleeping again.
cagedmind0531: I'm fixing it though. No worries
cagedmind0531: Just a bit of rearrangment
forrestjones2010: yeah end of day 1 start of day 2
cagedmind0531: Which one is Fracture again?
cagedmind0531: Syrka?
forrestjones2010: yes
cagedmind0531: k
cagedmind0531: Be sure not to use first person for the narrator
cagedmind0531: We could also use a scene or two more with Syrka and Veyn. They are lifeless right now. I can add a bit.
forrestjones2010: yeah i will get them hoes
forrestjones2010: thnks for the reminder of first person
cagedmind0531: np
forrestjones2010: The day cuts open the night sky and Syrka is the first to awaken after Graven and Axis. We gather our packs and begin again toward the stone shelter at a measured pace. Adahn instructs the three with new gesture and translates Graven's latest instructions. Gaia is the last to crack her eyes open to the world. Her inner life is often more vivid and real and pleasant to her than her harsh reality of exile but her spirit and joy of nature would never allow you to see into any possible sorrows. Creation combats all types of malice and the imagination wins the war. It never dies. It grows into a sphered plant with roots and wings and plants itself into immortality. Gaia can not speak but this is how she thinks and this is why Graven is fallen...

forrestjones2010: i am changing this now to a conversation bewteen graven and axis
cagedmind0531: ok
forrestjones2010: The day cuts open the night sky and Syrka is the first to awaken after Graven and Axis. Graven and Axis begin to speak...

"Graven, Gather your pack and begin again toward the stone shelter at a measured pace. Tell Adahn to instruct the others with new gesture and your latest instructions. Gaia is the last to crack her eyes open to the world. Her inner life is often more vivid and real and pleasant to her than her harsh reality of exile but her spirit and joy of nature would never allow you to see into any possible sorrows she has. Creation combats all types of malice Graven. The imagination will win the war. It never dies. It grows into a sphered plant with roots and wings and plants itself into immortality. Gaia can not speak but this is how she thinks and this is why you have
forrestjones2010: is that better?
cagedmind0531: Yes. Alot better.
forrestjones2010: k
forrestjones2010: i am going to take a break for a bit
cagedmind0531: that makes it hard because I almost had it corrected lol
cagedmind0531: but it works
forrestjones2010: ?
cagedmind0531: I had almost sorted it all out into the right order.
forrestjones2010: sorry you lost me
cagedmind0531: Don't worry about it. We're copacetic.
forrestjones2010: k
cagedmind0531: Try to avoid having axis telling graven how he feels. I don't want him to have too too much insight into graven
cagedmind0531: The reader should figure some things out ya know
forrestjones2010: k
forrestjones2010: i will be back
cagedmind0531: k
forrestjones2010: Ok
forrestjones2010: Should have allot more time tonight don't have canan or anything else going on
forrestjones2010: Highschool orientation
cagedmind0531: Cool.
cagedmind0531: What's kickin
forrestjones2010: Wow....i drank a half a pot of coffee last night & when I told you I was taking a break I passed out and didn't wake up until 830 this morning...
forrestjones2010: What time do you normally get up?
cagedmind0531: I normally get up around 1
forrestjones2010: Just curious
cagedmind0531: How goes work?
forrestjones2010: Busy busy
cagedmind0531: One thing I have thought of is Axis is a shard of Fracture and yet he isn't erratic at all.
forrestjones2010: Cool
cagedmind0531: Something might need to be fixed. Maybe making him a shard of Order possibly. I don't know.
cagedmind0531: Nevermind I figured it out.
forrestjones2010: Dig
cagedmind0531: I am fixing all the ages crap. It was getting on my nerves
forrestjones2010: Hown
cagedmind0531: I'll mail it to you in a bit.
forrestjones2010: How?
cagedmind0531: Just rewriting some paragraphs back in chapter 3
forrestjones2010: When do you determine a rewrite is needed?
forrestjones2010: K
cagedmind0531: Not a rewrite. Just rewording a few paragraphs so all the ages and names are in sync a bit better.
forrestjones2010: Just in general...is a rewrite usually for general clean upn
forrestjones2010: I have gray hairs now lol
cagedmind0531: lol
cagedmind0531: "What about the others? You were banished before they even were born it seems,"
forrestjones2010: Up?
forrestjones2010: my n sticks on my phone
cagedmind0531: Trust me man, don't panic. I just fixed like 3 paragraphs and added some dialogue to clarify it.
forrestjones2010: I trust you implicitly sir carve away...
cagedmind0531: It's all fixed. All the ages and names make sense now. I even explained why he doesn't know them.
cagedmind0531: I mailed you the corrections. Everything is in blue that I fixed.
forrestjones2010: Dig
forrestjones2010: Swing to da lefta swing to da righta swing it swing it swing it swing it swingits all nightah...
forrestjones2010: You no like my shinanagins yes?
forrestjones2010: I can't open attachments on my phone...will read tonight...
cagedmind0531: I'm back. Had to go get some cash for bills
forrestjones2010: Tish got a job today...
cagedmind0531: That's awesome! Doing what?
forrestjones2010: Counselor
cagedmind0531: Wow that's great!
forrestjones2010: It really is we have been scraping by since she quit in november
cagedmind0531: Congratulations man. Tell tish I said grats!
forrestjones2010: Gotcha...you working theses days?
cagedmind0531: Nah, just getting social security for now but going back to school this year.
forrestjones2010: these
forrestjones2010: Counselor
forrestjones2010: Sweet...how many hours do you have...what are you gonna study?
cagedmind0531: Not sure, I am going back in fall. I am either gonna major in English or Graphic Design
forrestjones2010: both very cool
forrestjones2010: It sure will relieve allot of stress around the house
forrestjones2010: Maybe your thesis could be in lava runes...
cagedmind0531: ha!
forrestjones2010: I will thanks
forrestjones2010: Maybe I can right a little bit more now
forrestjones2010: Oops write
forrestjones2010: Next time I sit down to write I want to try something different...
cagedmind0531: What do you want to try?
forrestjones2010: Bazinga!
forrestjones2010: Tell you later...gotta run...appointmentt...
forrestjones2010: Writing for a couple hours a then critiqueing
cagedmind0531: I'm here whenever
forrestjones2010: Swing...dig
cagedmind0531: What's up homey?
forrestjones2010: Headed back to beaumont from port arthur
forrestjones2010: sup
cagedmind0531: Not much. Painted a bit
forrestjones2010: just read the corrections...looking good
cagedmind0531: Yeah it's alot more clear now
cagedmind0531: I added a bit to what you wrote
forrestjones2010: i saw
forrestjones2010: nice work
cagedmind0531: Not sure if I sent you all I did. When you are ready let me know and I'll show you
forrestjones2010: ready
cagedmind0531: ok at the end of what you wrote I got
cagedmind0531: let me just post that one section to the rough draft site
cagedmind0531: Posted. Add that to what you have
forrestjones2010: confused
forrestjones2010: have you posted to master
cagedmind0531: No I just posted it at the top of the rough draft site
cagedmind0531: First post
cagedmind0531: called Additions
cagedmind0531: I will post it all to master in a sec after you read it
forrestjones2010: right and you sent me an email attachment too
cagedmind0531: aye, not sure that had everything though
forrestjones2010: so what needs to be posted to the master
cagedmind0531: Let me just post the master right now
cagedmind0531: I was just trying to make it simpler by posting the only things I changed or added to...
forrestjones2010: you rock holmes
forrestjones2010: sorry to be a bother
cagedmind0531: no worries
forrestjones2010: oh you are my artist of the month btw
forrestjones2010: for the month of february
cagedmind0531: what?
cagedmind0531: lol
cagedmind0531: is there a reward?
forrestjones2010: sure on every facebook and twitter post i plug your name and websites...give you lots of pr
forrestjones2010: its great good stuff mr gaudet
forrestjones2010: so whats our pen name?
cagedmind0531: I didn't think of one yet
cagedmind0531: I like Sebastian as a first name
cagedmind0531: So did you read what I added? Just a few sentences
forrestjones2010: i did sire and i am pleased
cagedmind0531: groovy
forrestjones2010: you have stolen my heart yet again
cagedmind0531: rofl it was like 5 lines :P
cagedmind0531: So whatcha doin?
forrestjones2010: re reading the piece i am about to start writing on
cagedmind0531: k
forrestjones2010: i want to get them to the stone shelter tonight
cagedmind0531: That would be nice.
forrestjones2010: what else needs to be fleshed out in the journey to the stone
cagedmind0531: The other 2 fellows
forrestjones2010: so Gaia is golden
cagedmind0531: yah
forrestjones2010: k
forrestjones2010: i just need to kill her near the sphere or do you want to kill her
forrestjones2010: do you want me to get them there and then you take over
cagedmind0531: You can kill her
cagedmind0531: Either way
forrestjones2010: kill kill kil
cagedmind0531: lol
forrestjones2010: k
forrestjones2010: so only syrka and vyn needed to be evolved
forrestjones2010: not adahn?
cagedmind0531: yes
forrestjones2010: k
forrestjones2010: i see you didnt like karmalectrum
forrestjones2010: lol
cagedmind0531: Well I liked it but I couldn't find it in the dictionary. I know I have heard a similar word but I couldn't find it
forrestjones2010: i made it up
forrestjones2010: ofcourse its not in the dictionary
cagedmind0531: There is a word similar to that. I know I've heard it.
forrestjones2010: :)
cagedmind0531: Anyway you had like 2-3 words that were made up so I cut them. So long as you have words surrounding them that make them make sense it can work.
cagedmind0531: But you had like 3 all together and I was like...say what?
forrestjones2010: i am just messing with you
forrestjones2010: i aint married to none of em
forrestjones2010: unless the letters ar hsit neosj
forrestjones2010: are
cagedmind0531: No there are alot of artist who used made up words. I am not against it. Just be sure the context clues make clear the meaning
forrestjones2010: tishe jones
forrestjones2010: gotcha
forrestjones2010: When the group left Syrka with purpose stayed behind from the group. He had seen some broken fragments of mirror finished glass just several feet of the camp site trail and wished to gather a bundle of it for his pack for later use with out the rest of the group knowing it. Adahn begins to give an account to Graven of the group...
forrestjones2010: wow used group 4 times
cagedmind0531: done painting finally. you have my attention
forrestjones2010: "Graven did you sleep well?". Adahn said with bit of a groggy voice.

forrestjones2010: "No, I have This solid metallic Spike in my head that talks to me and keeps me up late at night...Buggers!", says Graven.

cagedmind0531: lol
forrestjones2010: good glad you thought that was funny
forrestjones2010: "Yes, aside from a few strange dreams I slept fine. The Sphere tree continues to be the recurring focus of my night visions.",

forrestjones2010: Graven replies.

cagedmind0531: might wanna say volcanic glass btw
forrestjones2010: "I am certain if there is any meaning that it will come to you in the proper time. Let me fill you in on the the report of the camp. There a few things I think you need to know that pertain to the potential safety of the overall group. Gaia poses no threat but may be somewhat fatigued and disoriented during the day as she was up most of the evening drinking her herbal concoctions and whirling around and around in circles paying homage to the goddess in the moon again nothing threatening there just may be some distraction with her today. Veyn is his normal destructive self and is actually well rested and ready to go. What i am most concerned with but not to alarmed with yet is Syrka. He has not returned from a small solo adventure he caste for himself earlier this morning before dawn.
forrestjones2010: I watched him as he left the path. He is not at all graceful or stealthy in nature yet he attempts pretense in his grandiose recountings of his own tales. He probably saw a dead bird he wanted to collect or perhaps a toad or some such thing and will return, again I do not believe it is cause for alarm. Will you travel at a slower pace until our secretive wanderer returns?", Adahn petitioned Graven.
cagedmind0531: with ya so far
forrestjones2010: "Ofcourse Adahn...Ofcourse...", Graven replied.

"Adahn, Has he always wandered?", spoke Graven.

forrestjones2010: "For as long as I have known him he has always wandered. He strikes me as silent freedom. Freedom for the sake of freedom itself. Not freedom born out of some great idea or some great oppression but freedom because there is no other alternative and no opposite. He has never known slavery Graven and therefore has never seen the necessity to see beyond good and evil because to him polarity itself does not exist nor does color or shape...only freedom. Thats why he cracks everything. He leaves these fractures all over the place." Adahn continued to inform Graven.

cagedmind0531: Good so far
forrestjones2010: how much further do you want him developed
forrestjones2010: as much as gaia?
cagedmind0531: What you have should be sufficient. Why is he gathering glass?
forrestjones2010: he just collects ramdom odd things to be secretive...he in unintelligent an secretive
cagedmind0531: Also those 2 can be devloped at the tree
forrestjones2010: and
forrestjones2010: i am going to post what i have for now and take a breather
cagedmind0531: Alrighty.
cagedmind0531: Good work
forrestjones2010: posted to master
cagedmind0531: k
forrestjones2010: thanks man
forrestjones2010: i like the freedom stuff i went back to the fracture mask stuff to capture that
cagedmind0531: That's definitely appropriate
forrestjones2010: i dont think i am going to bed yet
cagedmind0531: don't think? :P lol
forrestjones2010: not sure i am tired thiugh
forrestjones2010: i gets up way earlier than some
forrestjones2010: :P
cagedmind0531: LOL! Smart ass!
cagedmind0531: Use got jokes
forrestjones2010: where is tha luv
forrestjones2010: i wurks hard fa ma massa taday
forrestjones2010: i gives him a full page
cagedmind0531: rofl. You still enjoying it? I don't wanna burst your balloons
forrestjones2010: i am loving it...i really am
forrestjones2010: how about you?
forrestjones2010: i just like to joke allot too
cagedmind0531: I am. I am kind of stuck on chapter 4 though. I do have an idea of how he defeats Iboga
forrestjones2010: does my joking piss ou off?
cagedmind0531: Not at all
cagedmind0531: He summons a crystal shield and reflects something back at Iboga
forrestjones2010: i thought siren killed him
cagedmind0531: I said defeats not kill.
forrestjones2010: hmm
cagedmind0531: I'm still not sure though. That's the problem
cagedmind0531: Should Graven win or lose
cagedmind0531: Losing would be more appropriate with a dark book.
forrestjones2010: dont decide now marinad\te on it
forrestjones2010: like a brisket
cagedmind0531: lol
cagedmind0531: brisket on the brain
forrestjones2010: thas riaght
cagedmind0531: This paragraph is massive
cagedmind0531: I am going to need to seperate it somehow
forrestjones2010: which one
cagedmind0531: The first one
forrestjones2010: the one i just did?
cagedmind0531: "I am certain if there is any meaning...
forrestjones2010: it is long
cagedmind0531: I'll figure it out. Don't let it stifle you. I have my edit axe at hand
forrestjones2010: k
cagedmind0531: One habit I am trying to get us in is not to use two adjectives when one will do.
cagedmind0531: It makes it flow better.
forrestjones2010: good idea unless it keeps me from my nobel prize
cagedmind0531: lol
forrestjones2010: i am not laughing
cagedmind0531: Why don't we use 3 adjectives per word like we did originally.
forrestjones2010: 7
forrestjones2010: "Graven all seers by their very nature practice boundary dissolution. They literally and metaphorically dissolve boundaries of all kinds everywhere they go. Containers of all sorts can not contain them. Societies can not house them. Buildings can not wall them in. Traditions they see as pointless. Abstract concepts, inventions, novelty,random happenstance, and imagination, these are the ingredients of a seer. These are the things that landed all of us outside of the same village and these are the same things that landed Syrka outside of our rag-tag brigade. Thanks for waiting for him and feigning moving forward to save face a true seer and brother you are." and Adahn fell silen after these words.


forrestjones2010: silent
cagedmind0531: You still writing?
forrestjones2010: yup
cagedmind0531: This chapter is getting long. I wish we had a way to end it.
cagedmind0531: Don't forget we have the magma encounter too that I wrote
forrestjones2010: dont get to caught up in how long or short a chapter has to be
cagedmind0531: I'll try to not let it be a factor.
forrestjones2010: it has to be long enough to convey what yu want it to
cagedmind0531: tru nuff
forrestjones2010: and i think it will be over after veyn is explained
forrestjones2010: in say what 2 pages or so more
cagedmind0531: You were right about this paragraph. It's all 1 thought. It can't really be broken up.
forrestjones2010: k
forrestjones2010: It was not long after there conversation that Syka rejoined the group in the rear seemingly unnoticed and all was well for a time...
cagedmind0531: with ya
forrestjones2010: i think i am going to stop here for now
cagedmind0531: Ok good sir.
forrestjones2010: if you want you can flesh out veyn/entropy
forrestjones2010: to close the ch
cagedmind0531: I'll check it out. Running editing right now
forrestjones2010: but i will finish it tonight or tommorow if not
forrestjones2010: ok
cagedmind0531: Cool. Sounds good.
cagedmind0531: Good work man. This kind of stuff really isn't my thing.
forrestjones2010: night
cagedmind0531: night man
cagedmind0531: What's up homey
forrestjones2010: My nigga what's upn
forrestjones2010: I dreamt of veyn last night
cagedmind0531: I made Veyn paranoid, what did you want to do with him?
forrestjones2010: That happens when I am really gettinto a project
forrestjones2010: I dreamt a line into the book
forrestjones2010: Paranoid fits that's fine
cagedmind0531: I just wrote a short paragraph saying he has a nervous twitch where he bits his nails, or polishes rocks or hones sticks and that he's paranoid.
forrestjones2010: Like a photograph fades to white paper plane so the universe fades to carbon...this is entropy...this is entropy...the veyn in all of us
cagedmind0531: I also made him psychic a little about danger. He can sense it like a cat.
forrestjones2010: He gets discovered in the village early early as a child he twitches & then trances for several minutes twitches trances twitches trances
forrestjones2010: In his trances he sees total destruction of all things on various scales of all kinds but cants communicate any of it
cagedmind0531: hmm that kind of works with what I wrote
forrestjones2010: Until some event in the distant future unlocks his vision & his language...he sees entropy
forrestjones2010: Are you serious? Wow
forrestjones2010: Cool I just made it up
cagedmind0531: haha
forrestjones2010: After this piece gets written today chapter 3 is done
cagedmind0531: Yup. Just need a little dialogue after the magma beast encounter. Few lines or something.
forrestjones2010: Yeah I woke up at 130 so I will be up late tonight...so let's wrap that puppy up
forrestjones2010: I am stoked
cagedmind0531: Awesome dude
cagedmind0531: I'm about to head out and get some food. I'll be back in an hour or so.
forrestjones2010: Dig
cagedmind0531: home
cagedmind0531: What's going on
forrestjones2010: Not much just working like a hebrew slave
cagedmind0531: I chipped the cap off my front tooth eating...It's been a shitty day
forrestjones2010: Ouch
cagedmind0531: Yeah I am pissed
forrestjones2010: Sorry to hear about your loss
cagedmind0531: Awe well. Shit happens.
forrestjones2010: I did that a few years ago at souper salad...
cagedmind0531: I'll live I suppose. Hopefully I find a dentist fast because it feels really weird.
forrestjones2010: I wish runes were real & you could re write it back into existtence
cagedmind0531: lol no shit!
cagedmind0531: I finished chapter 3.
forrestjones2010: Get out
forrestjones2010: Did you put the stuff I messaged you in there?
cagedmind0531: No, I thought you were just voicing ideas. I didn't realize you wrote that officially
forrestjones2010: No they were just ideas
forrestjones2010: Its all good done is done
forrestjones2010: Congrats can't wait to read it
cagedmind0531: Gaia is going to die at the end of next chapter
forrestjones2010: I will miss her
forrestjones2010: Tear it all down & build it up again
forrestjones2010: I am an empire builder...a universe maker & slayer of kingdoms...
forrestjones2010: Graven can you hear the four...they are calling...
forrestjones2010: I am chained to you but you alone can hear them...
cagedmind0531: Sounds cool. Brb in a sec
forrestjones2010: K
forrestjones2010: Just doodling
cagedmind0531: back, what's going on
forrestjones2010: In port arthur in a meeting for an hour or so
cagedmind0531: alrighty
forrestjones2010: Get with you when its over
forrestjones2010: Done
cagedmind0531: What't kickin chicken
forrestjones2010: Hey homey
forrestjones2010: What's cookin
cagedmind0531: Not much. Want me to post what I have?
forrestjones2010: sup?
cagedmind0531: I posted what I have on the Master Copy page
forrestjones2010: sweet will look now
cagedmind0531: I wrote some before the lava beast incident and after.
forrestjones2010: k
forrestjones2010: about veyn right?
cagedmind0531: no below veyn
forrestjones2010: Graven genuinely curious about his new companions.
forrestjones2010: fragment
cagedmind0531: k
forrestjones2010: graven is
forrestjones2010: perhaps
cagedmind0531: Notice how I said *his monologue continued* I figured we could just play it off like Adahn is a babbler a bit.
forrestjones2010: yeah that works
forrestjones2010: nice work sir
forrestjones2010 is typing a message.
forrestjones2010: will you post our convo from today on the blog?