convo 3.3.2010am

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cagedmind0531
What's kickin dude
forrestjones2010
writing actually
cagedmind0531
ditto
forrestjones2010
got allot done
cagedmind0531
That's cool.
I haven't slept yet. I am really wired for some reason. I played my games for a while and about 30 minutes ago I started writing. Done about a page and a half so far
forrestjones2010
i have a twist for you
cagedmind0531
shoot
forrestjones2010
siren carries Lotus to term
the second child
i wrote 2 pages
cagedmind0531
lost, siren has a baby?
forrestjones2010
gaia is being dissected
she has a fetus
siren didnt want to kill babies
siren wants to carry baby to term
cagedmind0531
The fetus is dead though
forrestjones2010
names her Lotus
but we are in the tech age now
cagedmind0531
Whatever happened to abducting Kalyx? Is that out now
forrestjones2010
and they just died minutes ago
no we are go for that
thats a hell of a wrinkle
cagedmind0531
hmm yeah
forrestjones2010
siren and graven would now have a child together
cagedmind0531
I like the name Lotus btw
forrestjones2010
she would have access to the gaisphere too
cagedmind0531
Do you really want Siren getting pregnant? That takes her out of action as a mercenary
forrestjones2010
but siren would not tell peyton
yeah we can speed that up somehow
i dont want graven to know for a long long time...if ever
cagedmind0531
Did you already start writing this btw?
Or is this unrelated?
forrestjones2010
Then they all paused and remembered the unborn child. Siren stopped what she was doing and looked at Peyton and said one word:
Lotus
Peyton looked back at Siren and thought for a moment as if millions of computations were running through her mind at once.

“Siren you can’t be serious…” Peyton exclaimed.

“I can carry her to term. You sure as hell can’t.”, Siren replied.

“Siren this would complicate everything and change your entire position.”
cagedmind0531
Why do you never discuss things with me before you write them!
forrestjones2010
because they can be deleted...jasontrust me man
i trust your writing
cagedmind0531
I just feel like an ass even commenting on anything that you already took the time to write.
forrestjones2010
dont
i can delete all of it i dont care
i am detached as an artist truely i am
are you not
cagedmind0531
Ok so if we do it this way. The kidnapping needs to be out of the picture. I mean if they have a baby already they won't need kalyx
forrestjones2010
no lets get kaylx too
they want kaylx for her Orbs...her chakras
cagedmind0531
Two. What if she volunteers to carry it to save it, but Feinburg intervenes and tells her. "There is no need for that. If the baby is that important to you I have a chamber that can be used to bring the baby to term."
forrestjones2010
that works
cagedmind0531
That way Siren isn't prego and out of the picture
That solves that problem
forrestjones2010
lets make her part of the process somehow like she has to be in Siren for a few days or something
just so we can call her mama
cagedmind0531
I really never would have imagined you taking this angle with your badass fem fatale assassin
forrestjones2010
i know but it makes for good dynamic literary tension
adds myth
greek
cagedmind0531
So Siren is going to be tied up this chapter.
forrestjones2010
not necessarily you need her somewhere else?
cagedmind0531
Well she was supposed to look into the Eoti but that can be chapter 9 I suppose
forrestjones2010
you have time to read what i wrote?
cagedmind0531
Yeah of course I do
Post it
forrestjones2010
posted
brb
cagedmind0531
wow you really stepped up the smart ass interplay between the characters this time...
ok one thing I see that needs to be fixed is you need to make it more clear that the fetus is dead but can be revived before she throws a name out there for the dead carcass

One problem I have with Siren carrying a baby, is that is acknowledging her human side. The side she hates
just thoughts
This angle is doable
Plus it would be odd for Siren, a human, to carry an Etherian baby
forrestjones2010
one sec
ok
if you dont like it i can trash it
cagedmind0531
No it's growing on me now
forrestjones2010
it only took me like 10 minutes to write it
i really just wated a deep tie between graven and siren
because she turns in the end right?
cagedmind0531
She turns on AI yes
forrestjones2010
but she i not necessarily an ally to graven though is she?
cagedmind0531
No. They are enemies with a mutual respect
forrestjones2010
i was thinking she was his aly by the end...i misunderstood
that makes it even better then
more tension
kinda like in scarface when pacino says i aint killin no babbies man
i aint killin no babies
k i gott go to works
cagedmind0531
ok man. Have fun
forrestjones2010
good talking to you
cagedmind0531
ditto
forrestjones2010
you can ripp it up if you like its a first draft
cagedmind0531
We'll discuss it tonight. I like the idea it just needs to be tweaked bit. We'll work out the wrinkles
forrestjones2010
change whatever you like i aint married to none of it
k
laters